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Need advice on severe methadone withdrawal using hydrocodone/oxycodone- help?!
*My specific questions are listed toward the end*
Okay. I was on a combined total of 300mg of hydrocodone and oxycodone a day for pain, 200mg zoloft and 10mg ambien for my anxiety/PTSD. I had been through a ton of other meds before that but that is where I was when I stopped. I went "cold turkey" off everything. Ended up in the ER cuz my body went into shock from opiate withdrawal (was on opiates for over 5 years). I just didn't want to be slave to medication anymore and had no clue that would happen. Anyway, ended up on methadone. They "stabilized" me at 105mg.
After being on methadone for 2 months, I thought I was doing great. But then I did my research on the drug and freaked. Plus I didn't like the fact that I had to stand in line and take UAs like some lab rat (yes, I have mental issues, but who doesn't). Regardless, I wanted off ASAP. So I did a 30 day detox from 105mg to 0mg. I rather deal with the cards I've been dealt naturally than chemically. I miss the old me. So, here we go...
When I hit 50mg of methadone, the withdrawals became unbearable. I started taking 5mg of hydrocodone in the morning before I dosed so they wouldn't stop the detox. By the time my UA came back, I had already been discharged since I was tapering at such an insane rate. So this has been my timeline since I've been completely off methadone:
Day 1: instant horrible cold flu symptoms. I couldn't even produce my own body heat. And I'm an actual survivor of the swine flu back in 2009. It felt a lot like that. I took 4 hydro 10s that day.
Day 2: stomach flu and cramps hit this day as well. Took 5 hydro 10s, half an oxycodone 10, and 1 ambien 10mg to try to sleep.
Day 3: one of my worst days but I received these vitamins called "withdrawal aid" and started following the regimen exactly as stated. Eating healthy (only could eat small bites of fruit at first). Took 4 hydro 10s, 1mg Xanax, and the ambien at night to try to sleep.
Day 4: was able to start eating more but still no energy. Still in pain all over my body. And the nerve pain that shoots up my spine into my brain stem didn't allow me to sleep even with the sleeping pills. Took 1mg Xanax, 2 hydro 10s, 1 oxy 10, vitamins, tons of fruit, new script for chlonidine 0.2mg, 10mg ambien to try to sleep,
Day 5: suddenly, started feeling much better. Only needed 2 oxycodone 10s (no hydros), everything else the same as day 4
Day 6: I felt better than I have in a very long time considering my severe withdrawals started 17 days ago as I was tapering off methadone very fast. I took 3 hydro 10s and 1 Xanax and the chlonidine (along with the healthy vitamins and fruit). However, nothing stops the nerve pain that shoots up my spine into my brain stem and clenches up all my muscles in my neck and back when I'm trying to sleep. Makes me kick my legs and want to rip my own spine out of my body. Even if I do fall asleep, that wakes me up and I turn into the hulk and then cry like a baby for hours in misery. And that is the main thing I've been going through for the past 17 days. That is the only thing I can't handle. I'm now just taking the opiates in the morning and throughout the night. Don't need them during the day. I just deal with the lack of energy.
Day 7: that's today. The day started out great. I went out for breakfast and treated myself to French toast, eggs and coffee. After I felt absolutely awful and got the runs immediately. What the hell is going on?? I had to take 1 hydro 10, 2 oxy and it's only 4pm!!!! I'm assuming it had to be the not so healthy food, but I had such an appetite. I thought I was in the clear. I'm sure the appetite came from my severe lack of sleep and energy. Had nausea and a massive headache soon after the runs. But now I feel like I'm on an actual "high" for some reason. No matter what, I'm not taking any more damn opiates today! I shouldn't be feeling high!! I'm actually going to try to sleep now because I'm exhausted. If I feel high, I think this is the time to get some rest.
I'm scared I will have horrible WDs when I try to not take any opiates tomorrow. However, I feel like the methadone at least is almost out of my system. My body burns through meds faster than most people (at least that's what they told me- and why it took 105mgs to stabilize me).
I'm hoping to get a muscle relaxer Rx maybe as early as tonight if the stupid pharmacy gets in gear. It's a very common med given to people going through methadone withdrawal. If I can just beat that nerve/muscle pain in my spine, I can walk off this for good. I don't have a script for opiates or Xanax anymore because I left all my old "treatment" behind. I've just been using what I've had left over all these months. I don't plan on finishing them off. I want to beat these stupid things and then say goodbye forever. If I wanted to continue to feel "good", I have plenty of pills to do it. But that's not what I want. I want to be free. Because as of right now, I'm still a slave... a prisoner of my own body. My body will eventually treat me good, if I'm good to it.
Now, with everything I've just explained, I have questions.
1. Am I feeling so much better recently because I'm becoming dependent on opiate pills again? OR is this the "roller coaster" of methadone withdrawal I've heard so much about? OR could that be attributed to the vitamins and healthy eating? AND what's with the feeling high? I'm hoping that means my tolerance has been lowered which would hopefully mean easier WDs??
2. I also have about 10 pills of buprenorphine 8mg (called subs I think?) that I got from someone I met who's been through all of this. But I don't have his number and I can't go to the clinic because I fear I'll cave and go back on the methadone. Should I cut those into the 0.5mg dose and then do the under the tongue way of taking them just to carry me off the last few oxys I need to get by once I start feeling the WDs after stopping the oxys? Or will that make me withdraw the way methadone is doing? (Don't even wanna touch those damn things. Hoping to just quit the opiates with the muscle relaxers, chlonidine, ambien, vitamins and eating healthy).
3. Will the muscle relaxer help with that spine-clench thing that makes me want to snuff it every time it happens?
I don't want to be on any meds anymore once this is over. The chlonidine and Xanax really help with the anxiety, my heart rate and bp (they've been sky high through all of this even though I'm young and generally healthy). But, I don't want to take the Xanax anymore. I hear that you can become dependent on those too, even tho they've always helped me in the past. I just still have them from my last surgery because I need them to prepare myself to go under every time (thanks to the anxiety and PTSD).
My exit plan was just to take an opiate pill when I'm at my worst (aka suicidal) and then just taper off with the help of the withdrawal aid, eating healthy, etc. So far I feel it's actually kinda working. But I cannot get over the night time hydros/oxys I need to sleep just an hour or two because of the spine thing. I could be totally knocked out on ambien and it rips me out of my glorious slumber- like the devil himself reached into my spine with his hot, fiery claws and is twisting it into a twizzler. (Yes, it's that dramatic).
Can anyone help me with my questions? I know I'm all over the place. But anyone who's gone through this might understand... I hope. I really need the advice and someone to talk to.
Okay. I was on a combined total of 300mg of hydrocodone and oxycodone a day for pain, 200mg zoloft and 10mg ambien for my anxiety/PTSD. I had been through a ton of other meds before that but that is where I was when I stopped. I went "cold turkey" off everything. Ended up in the ER cuz my body went into shock from opiate withdrawal (was on opiates for over 5 years). I just didn't want to be slave to medication anymore and had no clue that would happen. Anyway, ended up on methadone. They "stabilized" me at 105mg.
After being on methadone for 2 months, I thought I was doing great. But then I did my research on the drug and freaked. Plus I didn't like the fact that I had to stand in line and take UAs like some lab rat (yes, I have mental issues, but who doesn't). Regardless, I wanted off ASAP. So I did a 30 day detox from 105mg to 0mg. I rather deal with the cards I've been dealt naturally than chemically. I miss the old me. So, here we go...
When I hit 50mg of methadone, the withdrawals became unbearable. I started taking 5mg of hydrocodone in the morning before I dosed so they wouldn't stop the detox. By the time my UA came back, I had already been discharged since I was tapering at such an insane rate. So this has been my timeline since I've been completely off methadone:
Day 1: instant horrible cold flu symptoms. I couldn't even produce my own body heat. And I'm an actual survivor of the swine flu back in 2009. It felt a lot like that. I took 4 hydro 10s that day.
Day 2: stomach flu and cramps hit this day as well. Took 5 hydro 10s, half an oxycodone 10, and 1 ambien 10mg to try to sleep.
Day 3: one of my worst days but I received these vitamins called "withdrawal aid" and started following the regimen exactly as stated. Eating healthy (only could eat small bites of fruit at first). Took 4 hydro 10s, 1mg Xanax, and the ambien at night to try to sleep.
Day 4: was able to start eating more but still no energy. Still in pain all over my body. And the nerve pain that shoots up my spine into my brain stem didn't allow me to sleep even with the sleeping pills. Took 1mg Xanax, 2 hydro 10s, 1 oxy 10, vitamins, tons of fruit, new script for chlonidine 0.2mg, 10mg ambien to try to sleep,
Day 5: suddenly, started feeling much better. Only needed 2 oxycodone 10s (no hydros), everything else the same as day 4
Day 6: I felt better than I have in a very long time considering my severe withdrawals started 17 days ago as I was tapering off methadone very fast. I took 3 hydro 10s and 1 Xanax and the chlonidine (along with the healthy vitamins and fruit). However, nothing stops the nerve pain that shoots up my spine into my brain stem and clenches up all my muscles in my neck and back when I'm trying to sleep. Makes me kick my legs and want to rip my own spine out of my body. Even if I do fall asleep, that wakes me up and I turn into the hulk and then cry like a baby for hours in misery. And that is the main thing I've been going through for the past 17 days. That is the only thing I can't handle. I'm now just taking the opiates in the morning and throughout the night. Don't need them during the day. I just deal with the lack of energy.
Day 7: that's today. The day started out great. I went out for breakfast and treated myself to French toast, eggs and coffee. After I felt absolutely awful and got the runs immediately. What the hell is going on?? I had to take 1 hydro 10, 2 oxy and it's only 4pm!!!! I'm assuming it had to be the not so healthy food, but I had such an appetite. I thought I was in the clear. I'm sure the appetite came from my severe lack of sleep and energy. Had nausea and a massive headache soon after the runs. But now I feel like I'm on an actual "high" for some reason. No matter what, I'm not taking any more damn opiates today! I shouldn't be feeling high!! I'm actually going to try to sleep now because I'm exhausted. If I feel high, I think this is the time to get some rest.
I'm scared I will have horrible WDs when I try to not take any opiates tomorrow. However, I feel like the methadone at least is almost out of my system. My body burns through meds faster than most people (at least that's what they told me- and why it took 105mgs to stabilize me).
I'm hoping to get a muscle relaxer Rx maybe as early as tonight if the stupid pharmacy gets in gear. It's a very common med given to people going through methadone withdrawal. If I can just beat that nerve/muscle pain in my spine, I can walk off this for good. I don't have a script for opiates or Xanax anymore because I left all my old "treatment" behind. I've just been using what I've had left over all these months. I don't plan on finishing them off. I want to beat these stupid things and then say goodbye forever. If I wanted to continue to feel "good", I have plenty of pills to do it. But that's not what I want. I want to be free. Because as of right now, I'm still a slave... a prisoner of my own body. My body will eventually treat me good, if I'm good to it.
Now, with everything I've just explained, I have questions.
1. Am I feeling so much better recently because I'm becoming dependent on opiate pills again? OR is this the "roller coaster" of methadone withdrawal I've heard so much about? OR could that be attributed to the vitamins and healthy eating? AND what's with the feeling high? I'm hoping that means my tolerance has been lowered which would hopefully mean easier WDs??
2. I also have about 10 pills of buprenorphine 8mg (called subs I think?) that I got from someone I met who's been through all of this. But I don't have his number and I can't go to the clinic because I fear I'll cave and go back on the methadone. Should I cut those into the 0.5mg dose and then do the under the tongue way of taking them just to carry me off the last few oxys I need to get by once I start feeling the WDs after stopping the oxys? Or will that make me withdraw the way methadone is doing? (Don't even wanna touch those damn things. Hoping to just quit the opiates with the muscle relaxers, chlonidine, ambien, vitamins and eating healthy).
3. Will the muscle relaxer help with that spine-clench thing that makes me want to snuff it every time it happens?
I don't want to be on any meds anymore once this is over. The chlonidine and Xanax really help with the anxiety, my heart rate and bp (they've been sky high through all of this even though I'm young and generally healthy). But, I don't want to take the Xanax anymore. I hear that you can become dependent on those too, even tho they've always helped me in the past. I just still have them from my last surgery because I need them to prepare myself to go under every time (thanks to the anxiety and PTSD).
My exit plan was just to take an opiate pill when I'm at my worst (aka suicidal) and then just taper off with the help of the withdrawal aid, eating healthy, etc. So far I feel it's actually kinda working. But I cannot get over the night time hydros/oxys I need to sleep just an hour or two because of the spine thing. I could be totally knocked out on ambien and it rips me out of my glorious slumber- like the devil himself reached into my spine with his hot, fiery claws and is twisting it into a twizzler. (Yes, it's that dramatic).
Can anyone help me with my questions? I know I'm all over the place. But anyone who's gone through this might understand... I hope. I really need the advice and someone to talk to.
There is rebound pain from stopping the opiates. There is also a rebound effect from stopping the ambien and xanax.
Your brain chemistry has to repopulate. This will take time.
Exercise will help accomplish this.
Take hot epsom salt baths and magnesium supplements to help with your
Body spasms.
Try otc sleep aids, melatonin, Valerian root, alteril, sleepy time tea.
I believe your initial withdrawal symptoms were so severe because zoloft, opiates and the ambien all produce the same detox symptoms.
There is always someone available. Keep posting for support.
Have you tried cognitive behavior therapy?
Keep the faith.
Sending prayers and encouragement,
Debbie
Your brain chemistry has to repopulate. This will take time.
Exercise will help accomplish this.
Take hot epsom salt baths and magnesium supplements to help with your
Body spasms.
Try otc sleep aids, melatonin, Valerian root, alteril, sleepy time tea.
I believe your initial withdrawal symptoms were so severe because zoloft, opiates and the ambien all produce the same detox symptoms.
There is always someone available. Keep posting for support.
Have you tried cognitive behavior therapy?
Keep the faith.
Sending prayers and encouragement,
Debbie
I don't have a lot of info to offer about methadone or the hydros but I do about oxys and subs...so glad to hear you got rid of those, they are right up there with lucifer himself. I'm on 21 days off of them cold turkey so I can relate to doing the cold turkey route. You will get through this, I didn't think I could. I've been so frustrated and depressed but I've plowed through when I didn't think I had the strength to even take a step. It's a roller coaster, believe me. This is a great place to find support and just chatting with people who can understand you can make a world of difference. We are all here to help in any way we can. Keep posting...
Great post, Goddess! :)
Hi & Welcome.
Time & Patience my Friend. Until you come to the point where you add NO meds to your Brain/Body you will be very unbalanced. I too was on the methadone for around 12 years, but I got it prescribed for pain after I had worked up such a tolerance to the other opiates.
Addiction is a Brain Disease and that is what it does, it unbalances the Chems, Hormones and Transmitter in the Brain and in the long run the Brain will send false singles to the body. It took me a lil over 2 years to find a Mental, Physical and Spiritual Balance. However, I am no spring chic and have drank and used since I was 14 off & on. I also went c/t from 3 different meds that pulled the Brain and Nervous system up and down and all around. The longer we use, the longer it takes for the Brain to Heal..(sort-of-speaking).
The detox part is the easy part..YES it is very uncomfortable, but it is over soon, as long as you quit adding other pharmaceutical meds to the Brain & Body. The work really begins when we want to stay clean & sober and not run to use this or that, for this or that reason. Addicts always think they need a drug or drink to help when Life brings us some curve balls. Learning to live in ones own skin when the shiiit hits the fan is where the hard work is. There are SO many Changes that have to be made..SO many thinking patterns that have to change. This is where we need SUPPORT and any and all the SUPPORT you can get. Try not to over analyze the "WHY" we use..This will only drive you crazy. If it is a deep mental issues on "why" and we have masked it, then it needs to be addressed and talked about..NO more holding things in and please try to stay away from and Drama & Stress why you are working on staying clean..In some cases there is no mental issues, but just the way we grew up or our environment.(like everyone is doing it).. No more old stomping grounds with them old playmates either..This only brings on triggers. It took us Years to become Addicts so it will take a long time to undue this mess that the ME got into. Support is a must, as this is a WE thing not a ME thing. The ME is what got us in trouble. NEVER beat your self up either. If you look this Disease up in a more Scientific way you will find out that sometimes it is beyond "Willpower" and that WE had no control. Knowing more about it in a Scientific way is not going to cure you, but it will help you understand more on what goes on up stairs in the brain that have Millions or Billions of wiring..Now it is time to take back our life and walk down the right path with other Addicts that wear the same shoes as we had on. Well enough for me and I will get down from my soap box. I just know that I have had a really hard struggle the past couple of Years..Now it seems to be coming to some kind of Balance.. Most of my Family on here know I had a very sad and heartache couple of Years, but now I am back and I will SURRENDER this process one more time and be Grateful for what I have "Just for Today"..I do wish you the best and just stick around, as we do come in and out in waves these days..Make sure you are Drinking tons of water and try adding some Lemon to it..Make sure you are eating very healthy as you can get some good vit/min going this way too..DO start a good vit/min program too..But the vit/min do take time to kick in.
YOU will see that the Grass is Greener on the other side of that hill, once you get up and over it..Meanwhile you just need to hang tight to that surf board and ride the waves..Soon you will be walking on the beach as you feel that warm sand between your toes once again..Be Safe, Be Good and Always keep your GUARD UP!!
Bless
Time & Patience my Friend. Until you come to the point where you add NO meds to your Brain/Body you will be very unbalanced. I too was on the methadone for around 12 years, but I got it prescribed for pain after I had worked up such a tolerance to the other opiates.
Addiction is a Brain Disease and that is what it does, it unbalances the Chems, Hormones and Transmitter in the Brain and in the long run the Brain will send false singles to the body. It took me a lil over 2 years to find a Mental, Physical and Spiritual Balance. However, I am no spring chic and have drank and used since I was 14 off & on. I also went c/t from 3 different meds that pulled the Brain and Nervous system up and down and all around. The longer we use, the longer it takes for the Brain to Heal..(sort-of-speaking).
The detox part is the easy part..YES it is very uncomfortable, but it is over soon, as long as you quit adding other pharmaceutical meds to the Brain & Body. The work really begins when we want to stay clean & sober and not run to use this or that, for this or that reason. Addicts always think they need a drug or drink to help when Life brings us some curve balls. Learning to live in ones own skin when the shiiit hits the fan is where the hard work is. There are SO many Changes that have to be made..SO many thinking patterns that have to change. This is where we need SUPPORT and any and all the SUPPORT you can get. Try not to over analyze the "WHY" we use..This will only drive you crazy. If it is a deep mental issues on "why" and we have masked it, then it needs to be addressed and talked about..NO more holding things in and please try to stay away from and Drama & Stress why you are working on staying clean..In some cases there is no mental issues, but just the way we grew up or our environment.(like everyone is doing it).. No more old stomping grounds with them old playmates either..This only brings on triggers. It took us Years to become Addicts so it will take a long time to undue this mess that the ME got into. Support is a must, as this is a WE thing not a ME thing. The ME is what got us in trouble. NEVER beat your self up either. If you look this Disease up in a more Scientific way you will find out that sometimes it is beyond "Willpower" and that WE had no control. Knowing more about it in a Scientific way is not going to cure you, but it will help you understand more on what goes on up stairs in the brain that have Millions or Billions of wiring..Now it is time to take back our life and walk down the right path with other Addicts that wear the same shoes as we had on. Well enough for me and I will get down from my soap box. I just know that I have had a really hard struggle the past couple of Years..Now it seems to be coming to some kind of Balance.. Most of my Family on here know I had a very sad and heartache couple of Years, but now I am back and I will SURRENDER this process one more time and be Grateful for what I have "Just for Today"..I do wish you the best and just stick around, as we do come in and out in waves these days..Make sure you are Drinking tons of water and try adding some Lemon to it..Make sure you are eating very healthy as you can get some good vit/min going this way too..DO start a good vit/min program too..But the vit/min do take time to kick in.
YOU will see that the Grass is Greener on the other side of that hill, once you get up and over it..Meanwhile you just need to hang tight to that surf board and ride the waves..Soon you will be walking on the beach as you feel that warm sand between your toes once again..Be Safe, Be Good and Always keep your GUARD UP!!
Bless
Thanks. Oh yea so I'm still confused about something things.
I know not to take the Xanax anymore. I'll only take my ambien if I absolutely need it as opposed to relying on it every night. I've never had any dependency issues with ambien...
So FOR SURE I shouldn't taper to 0 with the opiates like the guide from the vitamins say to do? I HAVE TO jump off where I'm at today? I took 3 pills today. I'm already freaking about not having the most important one (bedtime). Because that's spine clench time.
The guide says to first stop taking the ones throughout the day until you only need the morning and night time one. And then you finally stop your last pill with one pill in the morning and then that's it. You "jump". I've been building the vitamins in my system and eating healthy like it told me to.
I know not to take the Xanax anymore. I'll only take my ambien if I absolutely need it as opposed to relying on it every night. I've never had any dependency issues with ambien...
So FOR SURE I shouldn't taper to 0 with the opiates like the guide from the vitamins say to do? I HAVE TO jump off where I'm at today? I took 3 pills today. I'm already freaking about not having the most important one (bedtime). Because that's spine clench time.
The guide says to first stop taking the ones throughout the day until you only need the morning and night time one. And then you finally stop your last pill with one pill in the morning and then that's it. You "jump". I've been building the vitamins in my system and eating healthy like it told me to.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Will be keeping an eye on this post as im sure many people will.
You've come to the right place to accomplish getting clean and staying clean. The people on this site have only your best interest and outcomes at heart, so take what they say and use it! I came here Jan 2, 2014 to detox and get clean...its now Nov 19th, and i have 10 months and 19 days free and clear of opiate and sub addiction!
YOU SO CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS!
You've come to the right place to accomplish getting clean and staying clean. The people on this site have only your best interest and outcomes at heart, so take what they say and use it! I came here Jan 2, 2014 to detox and get clean...its now Nov 19th, and i have 10 months and 19 days free and clear of opiate and sub addiction!
YOU SO CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS!
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