Aa
Need advice on severe methadone withdrawal using hydrocodone/oxycodone- help?!
*My specific questions are listed toward the end*
Okay. I was on a combined total of 300mg of hydrocodone and oxycodone a day for pain, 200mg zoloft and 10mg ambien for my anxiety/PTSD. I had been through a ton of other meds before that but that is where I was when I stopped. I went "cold turkey" off everything. Ended up in the ER cuz my body went into shock from opiate withdrawal (was on opiates for over 5 years). I just didn't want to be slave to medication anymore and had no clue that would happen. Anyway, ended up on methadone. They "stabilized" me at 105mg.
After being on methadone for 2 months, I thought I was doing great. But then I did my research on the drug and freaked. Plus I didn't like the fact that I had to stand in line and take UAs like some lab rat (yes, I have mental issues, but who doesn't). Regardless, I wanted off ASAP. So I did a 30 day detox from 105mg to 0mg. I rather deal with the cards I've been dealt naturally than chemically. I miss the old me. So, here we go...
When I hit 50mg of methadone, the withdrawals became unbearable. I started taking 5mg of hydrocodone in the morning before I dosed so they wouldn't stop the detox. By the time my UA came back, I had already been discharged since I was tapering at such an insane rate. So this has been my timeline since I've been completely off methadone:
Day 1: instant horrible cold flu symptoms. I couldn't even produce my own body heat. And I'm an actual survivor of the swine flu back in 2009. It felt a lot like that. I took 4 hydro 10s that day.
Day 2: stomach flu and cramps hit this day as well. Took 5 hydro 10s, half an oxycodone 10, and 1 ambien 10mg to try to sleep.
Day 3: one of my worst days but I received these vitamins called "withdrawal aid" and started following the regimen exactly as stated. Eating healthy (only could eat small bites of fruit at first). Took 4 hydro 10s, 1mg Xanax, and the ambien at night to try to sleep.
Day 4: was able to start eating more but still no energy. Still in pain all over my body. And the nerve pain that shoots up my spine into my brain stem didn't allow me to sleep even with the sleeping pills. Took 1mg Xanax, 2 hydro 10s, 1 oxy 10, vitamins, tons of fruit, new script for chlonidine 0.2mg, 10mg ambien to try to sleep,
Day 5: suddenly, started feeling much better. Only needed 2 oxycodone 10s (no hydros), everything else the same as day 4
Day 6: I felt better than I have in a very long time considering my severe withdrawals started 17 days ago as I was tapering off methadone very fast. I took 3 hydro 10s and 1 Xanax and the chlonidine (along with the healthy vitamins and fruit). However, nothing stops the nerve pain that shoots up my spine into my brain stem and clenches up all my muscles in my neck and back when I'm trying to sleep. Makes me kick my legs and want to rip my own spine out of my body. Even if I do fall asleep, that wakes me up and I turn into the hulk and then cry like a baby for hours in misery. And that is the main thing I've been going through for the past 17 days. That is the only thing I can't handle. I'm now just taking the opiates in the morning and throughout the night. Don't need them during the day. I just deal with the lack of energy.
Day 7: that's today. The day started out great. I went out for breakfast and treated myself to French toast, eggs and coffee. After I felt absolutely awful and got the runs immediately. What the hell is going on?? I had to take 1 hydro 10, 2 oxy and it's only 4pm!!!! I'm assuming it had to be the not so healthy food, but I had such an appetite. I thought I was in the clear. I'm sure the appetite came from my severe lack of sleep and energy. Had nausea and a massive headache soon after the runs. But now I feel like I'm on an actual "high" for some reason. No matter what, I'm not taking any more damn opiates today! I shouldn't be feeling high!! I'm actually going to try to sleep now because I'm exhausted. If I feel high, I think this is the time to get some rest.
I'm scared I will have horrible WDs when I try to not take any opiates tomorrow. However, I feel like the methadone at least is almost out of my system. My body burns through meds faster than most people (at least that's what they told me- and why it took 105mgs to stabilize me).
I'm hoping to get a muscle relaxer Rx maybe as early as tonight if the stupid pharmacy gets in gear. It's a very common med given to people going through methadone withdrawal. If I can just beat that nerve/muscle pain in my spine, I can walk off this for good. I don't have a script for opiates or Xanax anymore because I left all my old "treatment" behind. I've just been using what I've had left over all these months. I don't plan on finishing them off. I want to beat these stupid things and then say goodbye forever. If I wanted to continue to feel "good", I have plenty of pills to do it. But that's not what I want. I want to be free. Because as of right now, I'm still a slave... a prisoner of my own body. My body will eventually treat me good, if I'm good to it.
Now, with everything I've just explained, I have questions.
1. Am I feeling so much better recently because I'm becoming dependent on opiate pills again? OR is this the "roller coaster" of methadone withdrawal I've heard so much about? OR could that be attributed to the vitamins and healthy eating? AND what's with the feeling high? I'm hoping that means my tolerance has been lowered which would hopefully mean easier WDs??
2. I also have about 10 pills of buprenorphine 8mg (called subs I think?) that I got from someone I met who's been through all of this. But I don't have his number and I can't go to the clinic because I fear I'll cave and go back on the methadone. Should I cut those into the 0.5mg dose and then do the under the tongue way of taking them just to carry me off the last few oxys I need to get by once I start feeling the WDs after stopping the oxys? Or will that make me withdraw the way methadone is doing? (Don't even wanna touch those damn things. Hoping to just quit the opiates with the muscle relaxers, chlonidine, ambien, vitamins and eating healthy).
3. Will the muscle relaxer help with that spine-clench thing that makes me want to snuff it every time it happens?
I don't want to be on any meds anymore once this is over. The chlonidine and Xanax really help with the anxiety, my heart rate and bp (they've been sky high through all of this even though I'm young and generally healthy). But, I don't want to take the Xanax anymore. I hear that you can become dependent on those too, even tho they've always helped me in the past. I just still have them from my last surgery because I need them to prepare myself to go under every time (thanks to the anxiety and PTSD).
My exit plan was just to take an opiate pill when I'm at my worst (aka suicidal) and then just taper off with the help of the withdrawal aid, eating healthy, etc. So far I feel it's actually kinda working. But I cannot get over the night time hydros/oxys I need to sleep just an hour or two because of the spine thing. I could be totally knocked out on ambien and it rips me out of my glorious slumber- like the devil himself reached into my spine with his hot, fiery claws and is twisting it into a twizzler. (Yes, it's that dramatic).
Can anyone help me with my questions? I know I'm all over the place. But anyone who's gone through this might understand... I hope. I really need the advice and someone to talk to.
Okay. I was on a combined total of 300mg of hydrocodone and oxycodone a day for pain, 200mg zoloft and 10mg ambien for my anxiety/PTSD. I had been through a ton of other meds before that but that is where I was when I stopped. I went "cold turkey" off everything. Ended up in the ER cuz my body went into shock from opiate withdrawal (was on opiates for over 5 years). I just didn't want to be slave to medication anymore and had no clue that would happen. Anyway, ended up on methadone. They "stabilized" me at 105mg.
After being on methadone for 2 months, I thought I was doing great. But then I did my research on the drug and freaked. Plus I didn't like the fact that I had to stand in line and take UAs like some lab rat (yes, I have mental issues, but who doesn't). Regardless, I wanted off ASAP. So I did a 30 day detox from 105mg to 0mg. I rather deal with the cards I've been dealt naturally than chemically. I miss the old me. So, here we go...
When I hit 50mg of methadone, the withdrawals became unbearable. I started taking 5mg of hydrocodone in the morning before I dosed so they wouldn't stop the detox. By the time my UA came back, I had already been discharged since I was tapering at such an insane rate. So this has been my timeline since I've been completely off methadone:
Day 1: instant horrible cold flu symptoms. I couldn't even produce my own body heat. And I'm an actual survivor of the swine flu back in 2009. It felt a lot like that. I took 4 hydro 10s that day.
Day 2: stomach flu and cramps hit this day as well. Took 5 hydro 10s, half an oxycodone 10, and 1 ambien 10mg to try to sleep.
Day 3: one of my worst days but I received these vitamins called "withdrawal aid" and started following the regimen exactly as stated. Eating healthy (only could eat small bites of fruit at first). Took 4 hydro 10s, 1mg Xanax, and the ambien at night to try to sleep.
Day 4: was able to start eating more but still no energy. Still in pain all over my body. And the nerve pain that shoots up my spine into my brain stem didn't allow me to sleep even with the sleeping pills. Took 1mg Xanax, 2 hydro 10s, 1 oxy 10, vitamins, tons of fruit, new script for chlonidine 0.2mg, 10mg ambien to try to sleep,
Day 5: suddenly, started feeling much better. Only needed 2 oxycodone 10s (no hydros), everything else the same as day 4
Day 6: I felt better than I have in a very long time considering my severe withdrawals started 17 days ago as I was tapering off methadone very fast. I took 3 hydro 10s and 1 Xanax and the chlonidine (along with the healthy vitamins and fruit). However, nothing stops the nerve pain that shoots up my spine into my brain stem and clenches up all my muscles in my neck and back when I'm trying to sleep. Makes me kick my legs and want to rip my own spine out of my body. Even if I do fall asleep, that wakes me up and I turn into the hulk and then cry like a baby for hours in misery. And that is the main thing I've been going through for the past 17 days. That is the only thing I can't handle. I'm now just taking the opiates in the morning and throughout the night. Don't need them during the day. I just deal with the lack of energy.
Day 7: that's today. The day started out great. I went out for breakfast and treated myself to French toast, eggs and coffee. After I felt absolutely awful and got the runs immediately. What the hell is going on?? I had to take 1 hydro 10, 2 oxy and it's only 4pm!!!! I'm assuming it had to be the not so healthy food, but I had such an appetite. I thought I was in the clear. I'm sure the appetite came from my severe lack of sleep and energy. Had nausea and a massive headache soon after the runs. But now I feel like I'm on an actual "high" for some reason. No matter what, I'm not taking any more damn opiates today! I shouldn't be feeling high!! I'm actually going to try to sleep now because I'm exhausted. If I feel high, I think this is the time to get some rest.
I'm scared I will have horrible WDs when I try to not take any opiates tomorrow. However, I feel like the methadone at least is almost out of my system. My body burns through meds faster than most people (at least that's what they told me- and why it took 105mgs to stabilize me).
I'm hoping to get a muscle relaxer Rx maybe as early as tonight if the stupid pharmacy gets in gear. It's a very common med given to people going through methadone withdrawal. If I can just beat that nerve/muscle pain in my spine, I can walk off this for good. I don't have a script for opiates or Xanax anymore because I left all my old "treatment" behind. I've just been using what I've had left over all these months. I don't plan on finishing them off. I want to beat these stupid things and then say goodbye forever. If I wanted to continue to feel "good", I have plenty of pills to do it. But that's not what I want. I want to be free. Because as of right now, I'm still a slave... a prisoner of my own body. My body will eventually treat me good, if I'm good to it.
Now, with everything I've just explained, I have questions.
1. Am I feeling so much better recently because I'm becoming dependent on opiate pills again? OR is this the "roller coaster" of methadone withdrawal I've heard so much about? OR could that be attributed to the vitamins and healthy eating? AND what's with the feeling high? I'm hoping that means my tolerance has been lowered which would hopefully mean easier WDs??
2. I also have about 10 pills of buprenorphine 8mg (called subs I think?) that I got from someone I met who's been through all of this. But I don't have his number and I can't go to the clinic because I fear I'll cave and go back on the methadone. Should I cut those into the 0.5mg dose and then do the under the tongue way of taking them just to carry me off the last few oxys I need to get by once I start feeling the WDs after stopping the oxys? Or will that make me withdraw the way methadone is doing? (Don't even wanna touch those damn things. Hoping to just quit the opiates with the muscle relaxers, chlonidine, ambien, vitamins and eating healthy).
3. Will the muscle relaxer help with that spine-clench thing that makes me want to snuff it every time it happens?
I don't want to be on any meds anymore once this is over. The chlonidine and Xanax really help with the anxiety, my heart rate and bp (they've been sky high through all of this even though I'm young and generally healthy). But, I don't want to take the Xanax anymore. I hear that you can become dependent on those too, even tho they've always helped me in the past. I just still have them from my last surgery because I need them to prepare myself to go under every time (thanks to the anxiety and PTSD).
My exit plan was just to take an opiate pill when I'm at my worst (aka suicidal) and then just taper off with the help of the withdrawal aid, eating healthy, etc. So far I feel it's actually kinda working. But I cannot get over the night time hydros/oxys I need to sleep just an hour or two because of the spine thing. I could be totally knocked out on ambien and it rips me out of my glorious slumber- like the devil himself reached into my spine with his hot, fiery claws and is twisting it into a twizzler. (Yes, it's that dramatic).
Can anyone help me with my questions? I know I'm all over the place. But anyone who's gone through this might understand... I hope. I really need the advice and someone to talk to.
Okay. Thank you for the reassurance. And again I'm doing this on my phone so scrolling up to direct certain statements to the right people is hard cuz then I end up pushing something I don't mean to and have to start all over. Thank you EVERYONE.
I probably shouldn't have made so many impulsive decisions but being on so much medication for so damn long makes me feel like I'm in a prison. A slave to something I can crush between my fingers. Something so small can control something as powerful and amazing as the human body? F that. Btw, can we cuss on here? I'm a potty mouth. Feels damn good to say cuss words. Especially the F word. SO YEA, F THAT! I've been a lab rat for 14 years cuz they don't care about Fing with even the minds of children. I'm SICK of it.
And yes, I've been through serious pain. But I've never experienced a pain like this spine clench thing before. Maybe it's because of my severe exhaustion that it's making me feel unable to bear the pain. The Rx I'm getting tomorrow helps with nerve and muscle pain. It has great reviews and 100% non-addictive, just like the chlonidine.
I know a lot about the human anatomy. And I know for a fact this isn't something any human being should have to go through. It's unnatural. These damn chemicals shouldn't be in my brain and body man. My body is supposed to be able perform under the most extreme circumstances to ensure survival. And these damn chemicals are making me want to snuff it. It's compete BS. I swear I'll never take another damn pill once I get through this. Humans survived just fine before all this crap came along.
Can you all tell I've desperately needed someone to talk to since forever ago? LOL
I probably shouldn't have made so many impulsive decisions but being on so much medication for so damn long makes me feel like I'm in a prison. A slave to something I can crush between my fingers. Something so small can control something as powerful and amazing as the human body? F that. Btw, can we cuss on here? I'm a potty mouth. Feels damn good to say cuss words. Especially the F word. SO YEA, F THAT! I've been a lab rat for 14 years cuz they don't care about Fing with even the minds of children. I'm SICK of it.
And yes, I've been through serious pain. But I've never experienced a pain like this spine clench thing before. Maybe it's because of my severe exhaustion that it's making me feel unable to bear the pain. The Rx I'm getting tomorrow helps with nerve and muscle pain. It has great reviews and 100% non-addictive, just like the chlonidine.
I know a lot about the human anatomy. And I know for a fact this isn't something any human being should have to go through. It's unnatural. These damn chemicals shouldn't be in my brain and body man. My body is supposed to be able perform under the most extreme circumstances to ensure survival. And these damn chemicals are making me want to snuff it. It's compete BS. I swear I'll never take another damn pill once I get through this. Humans survived just fine before all this crap came along.
Can you all tell I've desperately needed someone to talk to since forever ago? LOL
Hi there 'nutter',
You're not nuts -- you're normal!
Being humorous when you freak out is excellent. Anything that puts a smile on your face & keeps you coming here.
You're NOT gonna' die or something! (There's an infinitely greater chance of that if you stay on!)
I'll reiterate: The crazy way that you're feeling is due to being in acute w/d. The sooner that you decide to permanently ditch the pills, (& I hear you that you want it to be your last), the sooner you'll be able to get off the crazy ride you're on (in between opiates & no opiates). No need to be strung out -- no need to prolong the agony -- you can do this! You've been through serious physical pain. So, what I'm hearing is that this is predominantly mental (which doesn't make it less daunting, in fact it makes it more so for some!) Just know that this is what is going on here, OK?
Again, you CAN do this :)
You're not nuts -- you're normal!
Being humorous when you freak out is excellent. Anything that puts a smile on your face & keeps you coming here.
You're NOT gonna' die or something! (There's an infinitely greater chance of that if you stay on!)
I'll reiterate: The crazy way that you're feeling is due to being in acute w/d. The sooner that you decide to permanently ditch the pills, (& I hear you that you want it to be your last), the sooner you'll be able to get off the crazy ride you're on (in between opiates & no opiates). No need to be strung out -- no need to prolong the agony -- you can do this! You've been through serious physical pain. So, what I'm hearing is that this is predominantly mental (which doesn't make it less daunting, in fact it makes it more so for some!) Just know that this is what is going on here, OK?
Again, you CAN do this :)
I feel like I've confused everyone now, including myself. I've never been so emotional and confused in my life. Crickets...
That clinic SELLS methadone to crapheads like me and call it treatment. Which the same can be said about the pain specialist I saw for years. I'm desperately trying to be free. I just freaked out today because I felt high from the last oxy I took and I have never felt that before. And this means I'm an addict, right? I'm seriously asking. I'm pretty damn sure my body has healed itself by now (as in why I've been on pain pills in the first place)- even though I have aching throughout my whole body which should be because of WDs right?
I can take the cold and stomach flu symptoms. Like I said, I survived the swine flu. I can take the body aches. I've been through SERIOUS pain. It's just that damn spine clench thing that makes me want to literally cut myself open with a knife and rip my spine, nerves and muscles out. Hence, getting a muscle relaxer and taking all that other crap they prescribe for methadone withdrawal symptoms. I've just been using what I've had before I got help from the family doc about it all this. I just didn't tell him I was tapering myself still with other opiates and using Xanax to keep me calm.
I have the chlonidine now and it actually makes me sleepy. I'm just going to start taking that at night time instead of the ambien. He said it would even help with the anxiety so again, don't need the Xanax!
I've been going through hell for the past 17 days and today felt better than ever and I'm pretty much on the lowest dose of opiates since all this started. I just freaked out about feeling high from the last oxy I took 7 hours ago I guess. And yes I'm trying to calm down but I'm scared ima die now or something. Holy hell. Trying to be humorous cuz that's what I do when I freak out. Can't think of anything funny to say with this post. I'm nuts...
I can take the cold and stomach flu symptoms. Like I said, I survived the swine flu. I can take the body aches. I've been through SERIOUS pain. It's just that damn spine clench thing that makes me want to literally cut myself open with a knife and rip my spine, nerves and muscles out. Hence, getting a muscle relaxer and taking all that other crap they prescribe for methadone withdrawal symptoms. I've just been using what I've had before I got help from the family doc about it all this. I just didn't tell him I was tapering myself still with other opiates and using Xanax to keep me calm.
I have the chlonidine now and it actually makes me sleepy. I'm just going to start taking that at night time instead of the ambien. He said it would even help with the anxiety so again, don't need the Xanax!
I've been going through hell for the past 17 days and today felt better than ever and I'm pretty much on the lowest dose of opiates since all this started. I just freaked out about feeling high from the last oxy I took 7 hours ago I guess. And yes I'm trying to calm down but I'm scared ima die now or something. Holy hell. Trying to be humorous cuz that's what I do when I freak out. Can't think of anything funny to say with this post. I'm nuts...
But see this is what I'm trying to say. I feel like I don't NEED the hydros and oxys anymore. And that I can finally taper down to 0 because I have access to all the other stuff they say helps makes the WD process easier (vitamins, insanely healthy diet, chlonidine, and now tomorrow, the muscle relaxer).
I took 3 oxycodone 10/325 today 4 hours apart. From 105mg of METHADONE just 37 days ago to 3 oxys today... Doesn't this mean I'm successfully tapering??
I took 3 oxycodone 10/325 today 4 hours apart. From 105mg of METHADONE just 37 days ago to 3 oxys today... Doesn't this mean I'm successfully tapering??
Ok I don't know why I can't make things clear. Am I taking crazy pills?!? (That's funny damnit).
I was on 5mg of hydro once daily during the last 10 days of my methadone taper. Day 1 off methadone I had to take 4 hydro 10s. I only take them when I feel like snuffing it. Didn't start anything else until I was completely off methadone.
I have a prescription coming for a muscle relaxer tomorrow to help with the spine clench thing. I am shaking in fear from taking anything else. The last dose of an opiate pill I've had (one oxyxodone 10/325) was around 7 hours ago. I took the Xanax about 10 hours ago. I haven't had anything else since. I'm still going to take the night time vitamins as the withdrawal guide says to do and have been doing for the past 5 days. I'm too scared to take my ambien now. Been on ambien on and off for years because trazadone makes me sluggish. That's what they always try to prescribe PTSD patients but it makes me feel like I'm walking through mud all day. So they keep me on ambien for sleep cuz it does the trick for me (at least until I started going through WDs).
I was on 5mg of hydro once daily during the last 10 days of my methadone taper. Day 1 off methadone I had to take 4 hydro 10s. I only take them when I feel like snuffing it. Didn't start anything else until I was completely off methadone.
I have a prescription coming for a muscle relaxer tomorrow to help with the spine clench thing. I am shaking in fear from taking anything else. The last dose of an opiate pill I've had (one oxyxodone 10/325) was around 7 hours ago. I took the Xanax about 10 hours ago. I haven't had anything else since. I'm still going to take the night time vitamins as the withdrawal guide says to do and have been doing for the past 5 days. I'm too scared to take my ambien now. Been on ambien on and off for years because trazadone makes me sluggish. That's what they always try to prescribe PTSD patients but it makes me feel like I'm walking through mud all day. So they keep me on ambien for sleep cuz it does the trick for me (at least until I started going through WDs).
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
