Firstly I appreciate all the encouragement and kind words. I did tell my wife and she is supportive but since she has a lot on her plate with her job and the 3 kids, I kind of just keep it to myself. I have sold everything I own even my iPhone to buy these pills and what makes it hard is that being unemployed I have nothing to do so I go back to them. I'll keep applying and hopefully things will change because my kids deserve better.
Hang in there brother, many of us are hydro addicts, myself included. When you can get detoxed I think some therapy would help you get these feelings off your chest. Can you talk to your wife about it? You will get tons of good advice, but getting off the hydros is game one, and then you can move on with your feelings. I understand, believe me, how easy the next pill seems, but it is NOT helping you deal with problems, just slowly rusting them into your brain. Sending good thoughts your way, feel free to pm me if you have a question, the regulars on here are OUTSTANDING, you will get some great tools to help.
Bryan
Welcome, you will find support here.
Welcome...
I can state, with certainty, that at least part of what you're feeling is a result of your pill use. I am older, have a good business, great children, etc., but when I was abusing Norco (10 a day for over a year) I'd wake up and feel the same fear and panic, and then couldn't go back to sleep. All I'd think about then was taking my next round of pills. From what you've written, it seems that you have a lot going for you; it's just a tough time in the job market right now.
I can promise you that if you get off the meds you will start seeing things much clearer and be much more motivated to continue your job search.
We are here - we are listening. Others will be along soon to offer you more help and support. Important thing is, you keep coming back, and keep posting.