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Unsure about my vicodin.
I have been on Vicodin and Baclofen for the past 2-3 years, but have been taking them more often this year. I would never take them to get high, but when I acquired an oxy or xanax, I would take them every so often. This month I have been sick, ie swollen lymph nodes, swollen tonsils, extreme fatigue, muscle aches, and raynauds etc. It seems like the fatigue and muscle aches are worse when I do not take any medication. Shortly after taking a vicodin, I get energy and my pain goes away.
I know half the symptoms don't have to do with addiction given the fact that the fatigue and lymph node swelling lasts for over a month and has happened three times in less than a year. Also, I have had a Pos ANA test, and consistently pos EBV tests.
What I am having trouble coping with is the fact that I feel like **** for the majority of the day, and the minute I take a vicodin, I feel much better. I originally started taking the vicodin for back pain suffered in Iraq. More recently, I have been taking 30-40mgs a day. I know that is not much by some people's standards, but It worries me when I get really bad body aches and fatigue. Also, the last couple months I worked at a hospital, I had a problem taking vicodin, xanax, fentenyl, and oxy from patients. I know it sounds bad, but it would only be a small amount of pills such as if a patient OD'd on Xanax, I would take about 10 from their bottle of 180. When I did, I wouldn't binge on the medicine, just pop a pill every now an then.
I know this post is all over the place, but I am not really ready to admit if I have a problem or not. I am just tired of feeling like ****. If anyone has any advice, I would love to hear it. Please.
I know half the symptoms don't have to do with addiction given the fact that the fatigue and lymph node swelling lasts for over a month and has happened three times in less than a year. Also, I have had a Pos ANA test, and consistently pos EBV tests.
What I am having trouble coping with is the fact that I feel like **** for the majority of the day, and the minute I take a vicodin, I feel much better. I originally started taking the vicodin for back pain suffered in Iraq. More recently, I have been taking 30-40mgs a day. I know that is not much by some people's standards, but It worries me when I get really bad body aches and fatigue. Also, the last couple months I worked at a hospital, I had a problem taking vicodin, xanax, fentenyl, and oxy from patients. I know it sounds bad, but it would only be a small amount of pills such as if a patient OD'd on Xanax, I would take about 10 from their bottle of 180. When I did, I wouldn't binge on the medicine, just pop a pill every now an then.
I know this post is all over the place, but I am not really ready to admit if I have a problem or not. I am just tired of feeling like ****. If anyone has any advice, I would love to hear it. Please.
Maybe it was a little disjointed so I didnt catch all that at first. And hey you dont have to be honest with me or anyone else really. So relax. I wias just saying you may not be being honest with yourself. And only you know that so dont worry about what I think. I just read your other post and I am glad you want to get this issue under control before it gets bad. I wish you the best of luck with it.
If you read every thing, I was going back and forth to previous issues.
The past few weeks I have taken anywhere between 30-80mg a day depending on my pain level. A few weeks ago, a friend gave me about 10 percocets, which lasted for 2 days. This past week, I have been trying not to take anything at all, but ending up having to take half a vicodin so I don't feel like complete crap and can function,
I don't take the xanax or oxys anymore, that was occasionally last year. Stealing pills was only for a few weeks about 9 months ago.
To recap, because you think I'm "not being honest", RIGHT NOW I take 5-20 mg of vicodin a day for the severe pain I am getting. I that honest enough??? There is no reason to lie, just needed to vent some things earlier.
The past few weeks I have taken anywhere between 30-80mg a day depending on my pain level. A few weeks ago, a friend gave me about 10 percocets, which lasted for 2 days. This past week, I have been trying not to take anything at all, but ending up having to take half a vicodin so I don't feel like complete crap and can function,
I don't take the xanax or oxys anymore, that was occasionally last year. Stealing pills was only for a few weeks about 9 months ago.
To recap, because you think I'm "not being honest", RIGHT NOW I take 5-20 mg of vicodin a day for the severe pain I am getting. I that honest enough??? There is no reason to lie, just needed to vent some things earlier.
i think you arent being completely honest here and that is a big step toward getting off of meds. U first said that you were taking 30-40 mg of vics then it went up to 70-80....and then u mentioned taking xanax....oxys....percocets...etc etc. Even stealing them from patients at a hospital you work at. You need to get honest with yourself....your husband and get some help. Some kind of therapy....or na....your dr. Figure out if you want to wean or cold turkey and get going. If you keep going as you are your gonna get in big trouble (stealing pills) and if you are trying to adopt a child all this can come into play. I am not trying to be harsh but it doesnt sound like you are being up front with yourself and until yyou do there is no way you can get the help you need. I wish you luck.
And I took a vico this morning, but I plan on only taking half a tab tonight so I can get some less painful sleep.
This has been extremely helpful. The pills were never really a problem until I stopped working last year. Then I took them just because. I have made up my mind that I finally want to quit once and for all. I am going to talk to by husband when he gets home from work. He has been in the medical field for over 20 years, so I am sure he will understand accidental dependency. Maybe I am the one being so critical on myself, not him.
He has mentioned before (especially when I am sick for weeks), why don't you just stop taking all pills and maybe you will feel better. I know there is some truth in that. The only thing I am not going to stop taking is my prozac and buspirone. I feel like my life is better and more stable when I am on them.
Thank you so much for your advice and "listening" to my rambling.
He has mentioned before (especially when I am sick for weeks), why don't you just stop taking all pills and maybe you will feel better. I know there is some truth in that. The only thing I am not going to stop taking is my prozac and buspirone. I feel like my life is better and more stable when I am on them.
Thank you so much for your advice and "listening" to my rambling.
Like Tramhater said, don't feel bad about yourself. You didn't ask for any of this and you sure didn't plan to become an addict. Nobody does. It's nothing to be ashamed of. So many of us become addicted after responsibly taking pain meds for a legitimate medical reason. Even if is weren't for a legitimate medical reason nobody should feel ashamed or embarrassed. If any of us really knew where we would end up most of us would have never touched one.
More than likely the pain you are feeling when you stop taking them is rebound pain. Rebound pain is your brain's way of screaming at you to give it what it wants. Your pain will actually increase a bit before it starts to let up. Once I made it through withdrawals My pain was easier and easier to deal with. It's amazing how well over the counter meds actually work. When I was on narcotic pain meds I never for the life of me thought the would do anything to touch my pain.
You say you feel bad because all you can do is sit on the couch and watch cartoons with your soon to be son. If you continue down this path you will get to where you aren't able to do that without falling asleep. They eventually suck the life right out of us and we are just a shell of who we use to be. The sooner you decide to get your life back the sooner you can start enjoying life again.
I really think you should let your husband know about all of this. I'm sure he has noticed a difference in you and is probably wondering what's going on. Does he know you take vicodin for you pain? If so, at the very least just let him know that you are going to try and stop taking them. Let him know that you found out that if someone is on opiates for long enough that they will experience withdrawals.
If you decide to stop cold turkey the worst of the physical withdrawals normally last about 5 days or so and it starts getting better from there. Let your hubby know that you need his support while going through this. There are many over the counter vitamins and supplements that can aid in withdrawal. When you are ready we can let you know what helps. We can also give you ideas on how to control your pain without the use of opiate based pain meds.
So maybe mention to your husband that you are considering stopping the vicodin. If for some reason he does try and belittle you, maybe have him come on here and read how it can be all too easy to become hooked on these evil pills.
No matter what you decide, we are here to help. Be sure to stick around because one day you will be ready to kick this habit. Life is so much better not living in a haze, worrying about how many we have left, worrying about where we are going to get more, living with guilt because of our use, etc. It can be such a hectic lifestyle and it's one I don't miss. We all know how you are feeling and what's running through your mind when it comes to all of this because we have all been there but I can assure you that you can and will get through this!
You obviously want to stop using or you wouldn't be here. Let us know when you're ready! We can help you get prepared.
Brian
More than likely the pain you are feeling when you stop taking them is rebound pain. Rebound pain is your brain's way of screaming at you to give it what it wants. Your pain will actually increase a bit before it starts to let up. Once I made it through withdrawals My pain was easier and easier to deal with. It's amazing how well over the counter meds actually work. When I was on narcotic pain meds I never for the life of me thought the would do anything to touch my pain.
You say you feel bad because all you can do is sit on the couch and watch cartoons with your soon to be son. If you continue down this path you will get to where you aren't able to do that without falling asleep. They eventually suck the life right out of us and we are just a shell of who we use to be. The sooner you decide to get your life back the sooner you can start enjoying life again.
I really think you should let your husband know about all of this. I'm sure he has noticed a difference in you and is probably wondering what's going on. Does he know you take vicodin for you pain? If so, at the very least just let him know that you are going to try and stop taking them. Let him know that you found out that if someone is on opiates for long enough that they will experience withdrawals.
If you decide to stop cold turkey the worst of the physical withdrawals normally last about 5 days or so and it starts getting better from there. Let your hubby know that you need his support while going through this. There are many over the counter vitamins and supplements that can aid in withdrawal. When you are ready we can let you know what helps. We can also give you ideas on how to control your pain without the use of opiate based pain meds.
So maybe mention to your husband that you are considering stopping the vicodin. If for some reason he does try and belittle you, maybe have him come on here and read how it can be all too easy to become hooked on these evil pills.
No matter what you decide, we are here to help. Be sure to stick around because one day you will be ready to kick this habit. Life is so much better not living in a haze, worrying about how many we have left, worrying about where we are going to get more, living with guilt because of our use, etc. It can be such a hectic lifestyle and it's one I don't miss. We all know how you are feeling and what's running through your mind when it comes to all of this because we have all been there but I can assure you that you can and will get through this!
You obviously want to stop using or you wouldn't be here. Let us know when you're ready! We can help you get prepared.
Brian
I was thinking about NA meetings when I was 17, but that was in Chicago. I live in Texas now, and don't really know where I can get the help I need without embarrassing myself. The good thing about being in a different state for the past 5 years is I do not have any connections to get any other drugs.
With the exception of staying on the meds for my PTSD and anxiety, I want to stop taking pills. That is why I have tried to go a day without taking anything. When I do, i am in a lot of pain and feel really fatigued. I don't know how much of this has to do with the vicodin and how much has to do with the other possible health issues.
My husband and I are adopting a little boy who has a lot of issues. I feel like a horrible person when I don't have any energy to do anything but lay on the couch and watch cartoons with him.
With the exception of staying on the meds for my PTSD and anxiety, I want to stop taking pills. That is why I have tried to go a day without taking anything. When I do, i am in a lot of pain and feel really fatigued. I don't know how much of this has to do with the vicodin and how much has to do with the other possible health issues.
My husband and I are adopting a little boy who has a lot of issues. I feel like a horrible person when I don't have any energy to do anything but lay on the couch and watch cartoons with him.
Hey, don't feel bad about yourself no matter what anyone says or does. You have an addiction. It doesn't make you a horrible person. Ok?
Have you ever talked to an addiction counselor or gone to NA meetings? You would find them to be a big help I bet. You need to do something different so that you don't keep repeating this behavior. Life is much better without having to worry about having enough pills to get through the day!
Are you planning to stop?
Have you ever talked to an addiction counselor or gone to NA meetings? You would find them to be a big help I bet. You need to do something different so that you don't keep repeating this behavior. Life is much better without having to worry about having enough pills to get through the day!
Are you planning to stop?
Thanks for the advice. When I posted this, I think I was kidding myself on how much I have been taking, especially this past month. I have been on 70-80 mgs a day. Plus, my friend gives me percocet, when she does, I take about 4 a day till their gone. This month has been especially hard. I find that when I take half a vic tab, it gets me through the day for the most part without much pain.
I find that I have mellowed out my drug use since I was a teenager. Even though I have meds readily available, I ration them out and take as little as tolerable because I get anxious if I start to run low. When I was younger, I used to take any pill handed to me, as well as coke, weed, crack, meth, pretty much anything that was offered. Along with this, I would drink up to a fifth of vodka a day. I prided my self on never getting addicted to anything and not having a problem stopping at anytime. The only thing that was really an issue to an extent was the coke. With that I was doing 2-3 eightballs a week.
I feel like I am rambling, but I really do not have anybody to talk to about this. If I were to tell my husband about a possible vicodin dependency, he would just belittle me and make me feel guilty and bad about myself.
I find that I have mellowed out my drug use since I was a teenager. Even though I have meds readily available, I ration them out and take as little as tolerable because I get anxious if I start to run low. When I was younger, I used to take any pill handed to me, as well as coke, weed, crack, meth, pretty much anything that was offered. Along with this, I would drink up to a fifth of vodka a day. I prided my self on never getting addicted to anything and not having a problem stopping at anytime. The only thing that was really an issue to an extent was the coke. With that I was doing 2-3 eightballs a week.
I feel like I am rambling, but I really do not have anybody to talk to about this. If I were to tell my husband about a possible vicodin dependency, he would just belittle me and make me feel guilty and bad about myself.
Just because your intake isn't as high as some doesn't not mean you're not an addict. Going on binges is a telltale sign of addiction.
The reason you're feeling more muscle soreness before taking a vicodin is because of withdrawals. It's your brains way of screaming at you so you give it what it wants. It doesn't take long for our bodies to become dependent on opiates. I too injured my back while serving in Iraq. I went from just being dependent on them to a full blown addict. Your intake may normally be only 30-40mgs a day but if you continue taking them you will eventually need more and more to get the same feeling or to keep that muscle soreness away. You will have to start taking that next dose even sooner.
Your best bet is to get off of them now while your dose is low. It will still be rough but will be much easier now then when you're taking 4or 5 times the amount. I was warned when my dose was low but never thought it would happen to me. Trust me when I say it's only a matter of time.
Browse through the forum and read like crazy. You will see how many started off the same way. You will also learn about things that can help while going through withdrawals.
You didn't search the net looking for a forum like this if deep down you weren't concerned. There are many wonderful people here that will bend over backwards to help you through this.
Don't even mess with Kratom as the above poster said. There are plenty of horror stories out there of Kratom withdrawal. Your best bet is to either taper the vicodin or just go cold turkey. Talk with your doctor and see what advice he/she has to offer.
If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask!
Brian
The reason you're feeling more muscle soreness before taking a vicodin is because of withdrawals. It's your brains way of screaming at you so you give it what it wants. It doesn't take long for our bodies to become dependent on opiates. I too injured my back while serving in Iraq. I went from just being dependent on them to a full blown addict. Your intake may normally be only 30-40mgs a day but if you continue taking them you will eventually need more and more to get the same feeling or to keep that muscle soreness away. You will have to start taking that next dose even sooner.
Your best bet is to get off of them now while your dose is low. It will still be rough but will be much easier now then when you're taking 4or 5 times the amount. I was warned when my dose was low but never thought it would happen to me. Trust me when I say it's only a matter of time.
Browse through the forum and read like crazy. You will see how many started off the same way. You will also learn about things that can help while going through withdrawals.
You didn't search the net looking for a forum like this if deep down you weren't concerned. There are many wonderful people here that will bend over backwards to help you through this.
Don't even mess with Kratom as the above poster said. There are plenty of horror stories out there of Kratom withdrawal. Your best bet is to either taper the vicodin or just go cold turkey. Talk with your doctor and see what advice he/she has to offer.
If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask!
Brian
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