Hydroco Withdrawal

[steveh444]

I am in day 2 of a cold turkey attempt off of hydroco 6-120mg / day.
I took 30mg Monday and 30mg on Tuesday. Yesterday and today I have taken none at all. I am in pretty rough shape and was hoping someone could tell me if I can do this safely myself??

[sandstone27]

Ok, let me rephrase that - getting clean is easier than staying clean in most people's opinion...:)

S.

[sandstone27]

Hey there Steve,

I've been thinking about you and wondering how your plan was working for you...sounds like it worked out great!  Good for you!  LostNoMore gave you some good advice - keep in mind that there is the mental part of detox you need to deal with as well....that is the truly tough part - getting clean is easy...staying clean will take work.  I believe you have a strong will, but keep some form of aftercare in mind as well.  

You're off to a great start my friend...keep it up and keep posting so we know how you're doing.  

Best of luck to you...

Sandy :)

[aloneinok_04]

Hi, I wanted to say thank you for the support, not sure I'm in a better place today but thank you just the same.

[littlebit667]

great news!  Keep it up!!!!!

[LostNoMore]

AWESOME STEVE!!!  day 4 was the worst for me. Things will get better and
better. Be patient. Take it easy. You've gone through the worst of the physical hell and your attitude sounds really good. Keep it up! If you're feeling weak and tired, pick up some L-tyrosine at the health food store. It's worked wonders for me. I also take SamE. The opiates really messed with our
body's ability to function. Some repair work is needed. taking aminos and
getting plenty of protein will speed up the process. Get some mild exercise daily. Rest when you feel tired and don't worry about not sleeping if you're
having that problem. Sleep will come. Kava tea and melatonin might help.

[steveh444]

To all you kind people who showed support and caring to a total stranger, I just wanted to say TYVM!!!!
I've gone 4 straight days without taking at all after a few days tapering off. I felt pretty good today and am hoping the worst of the initial detox is behind me. For those of you who followed my posting you know I have done this with other substances, and this was clearly the most difficult. And it should also tell you that I have the resolve to endeavor to persevere through this and not relapse anytime soon. And never to the extent that I was getting strung out this time!!!
God bless you all, and again TYVM!!!

[sandstone27]

Hi Steve,

I don't know if I mentioned it in my message, (I can't access them right now for some reason).   Your Plan is great, just make sure you stick to your taper - it is critical that you're consistent in order for it to be successful.

Well wishes...

Sandy

[Sharon0255]

Steve keep Posting and keep trying. You are doing great be honest when you use and try again to stop. I got as much as 45 days and now I'm having trouble putting together a week but I am determined to keep trying. I'm an addict but accepting it is tough I'm praying for you. Sharon

[sandstone27]

Hey Steve,

How are you feeling today?
Remember you CAN do this...

Hoping all is well with you....

Sandy :)

[MikeInFrance]

Kyle is right on with that! And Steve , let me tell ya' ...I've walked a mile in your shoes as most of us here have and l think that's the reason u found us. U want support? It's here! You have questions? Ask' You want answers? They're here! This community has the ability to get you going and sticking with you along your journey. What I cannot do for you nor can anyone here is stop u from taking a pill. All rhe tools you need to get through the wd's are here Steve. Use them! Take advantage of them....but most importantly stay true to yourself!  Don't think about detox as a bad or scary thing....when u create that image of it ...it tends to materialize and become amplified. You ever wear Nike shoes or sweats? They got a pretty good slogan .. Just Do It!

[steveh444]

All the things an addict must do to get clean are very clear cut and are the same for everyone. First and foremost is quitting the drug and detoxing. Now how we all get there to those things we absolutely must do are gonna be a little different for everyone. Everyone may prepare themselves a little different, and have different tools ready for helping to cope. But the thing that is the same for EVERY addict is the quitting and the detoxing.
I am beginning to see things a little more clearly,,,,I have my goal, I am seeing what it is going to take. And I am beginning to get the right tools around me for a successful attempt, you guys are important to me and I need you to not give up on me

[kyle505]

Steve:
Everyone has given you some great advice. I didn't read all of it, but the very first thing you need to do is get rid of all of your sources. When I did it I called it putting up roadblocks because I knew that at some point, sooner rather than later when I was detoxing, my head would start trying to tell me how one pill wouldn't be that bad. So, I called my doc, my dentist and the pharmacy. Told them that I was an addict and wanted to be red flagged as an abuser. I then told a couple of friends that I'd got pills from in the past that I had lied to them, the pills were for pleasure not pain, and not to ever give me meds again. I told my wife that I did not want opioid (sp?) based meds again, and for her to monitor if necessary. I did all of that in day 3 of my ct detox, a day of absolute hell.
Once you've removed the temptation, you will be able to proceed with your detox. Until then I can almost guarantee you that you'll continue to use.

[bama88]

And to answer did you ruin your recovrery? what recovery? when did you stop? See....
This disease is mental and physical
the pbysical will go away...the mental will stay.

I am an addict that CHOOSES not to take meds or get high today. just today...i lpromise nothing more.....sorry to be so hard on you...im giving some tough love. but love

[bama88]

First of all breathe. your not the first one or the last person who has backslide. the first part is the admision stage..then you can make progress. ive noticed a pattern i did it too. we feel weak.
or out of control. but we are in control. we control how much when and what we put in our bodies. i see that now. didnt 97 days ago.

i challenge you this....to not take any pain meds for 90 days. not a lifetime. jist 90. if you get to 90  it has a way of working out.

There is no justificstion on 30mgs or 120mgs. none.

you must settle in for a rough week. must. its nessesary. there is no easy way out. you didnt get addicted in a day. nope. it took me years to want to quit. years. i began from hydro to roxy to any pill. if one or two was good. 3-4 better and so forth. i put hydro as weak azz shite. see.

Have you ever had the flu? of course you have. did you live? your still here...so i would say yes. whatz one little week out of a lifetime. it just might save your soul. i promise.

You have to choose. you have to do the work. you. not me. Not the doctor. not your mom. you you you

[steveh444]

TY and God bless you Mike...and ALL of you
I know everything your saying is true. The fact is that if I were not with my wife and our son I wouldn't even be trying to quit. I know I need to be responsible for them. They have put their love and trust in me and I am very close to screwing that up, so I know its time to quit. And as with everything else in my life I am trying to find an easy way to do it, even though I know in my heart that no easy way exists.
I am going to cont to fight and just pray I can find the inner strength and peace I will need to do it.
All of you have been great, the fact that there are so many great people who genuinely seem to care is awesome in its self!! My sister was telling me how we are all surrounded by more angels than we can imagine. It kinda adds to the pressure I feel......man am I screwed up!!!!LOL

[sandstone27]

Mike is right -

There is no easy way around detox - including a "pass" to pop a few pills when you feel weak.  You've just gotta go through it, and it won't be easy. But it WILL pass.  You have to believe that.  I'm no hero when it comes to pain either, but if you want to get clean and stay clean, detoxing is only the first step.  After care is an important part of  recovery.  NA or one on one counseling helps many.

Good luck to you,

Sandy

[MikeInFrance]

The answer to your question about still taking pills every couple days and getting off this drug is NO ...u cannot do it like that. The first sentence in your post that started this conversation talks about your 'attempt' at gettit off hydros. To me personally, u didn't go into this with the right attitude and mindset: in fact it was only cuz you couldn't et anymore that u were forced to stop until you hustled onto some more. So I should really make a commitment to stop and make plans for your future cuz I promise you ....u will have no future if you continue taking these pills. You can say you are a weak person and u give in easy but to me it's an excuse for you to use again. U don't need to have someone hold your hand if you really wanna get clean Steve! You have to do it for you and you have to more than want it! You have to believe in a better life for yourself! The first week is tough....no b.s. ... Some people it's getting better after 3 days 5 days or a week max from what I have seen and heard. For me it was 5 days and then I saw it start to get better. This is something to look back on and be proud of that you worked though it. You need to care about you right now bcause the way you have been handling this 'detox' is only the addict in you caring about himself.  You punish yourself and take  a couple more and then you punish yourself waiting for a new script and so what do you want for yourself in the end? Make a decision to stop and stop for good and not just until someone will front you a couple more. Real talk

[sandstone27]

Hey Steve,

In answer to your question "Have I ruined my recovery?" in my opinion, you never really gave it enough of a chance.  You did the 30 mgs on Monday and Tuesday because you knew you were going to run out but since you were seeing your doctor on Wednesday, it was no big deal - until he refused to refill your script.  You did have 2 clean days, and were off to a good start - and when Friday came around - Day 3 IS Hell Day, you started again, and now you're out of pills and back to day 1 again.

My question to you is - Do you really WANT to quit?  This is what you stated in your initial posts, but it seems more like you just ran out and were waiting for a script refill.  I'm not criticizing you, but unless you WANT this 110%, it's going to be tough, because the mental part of detox will get you every time, and when you start feeling really bad, you will call that buddy of yours for some pills.  

If you can't quit cold turkey, you could always taper, but since you have no pills I guess that option is out.  The good news is, you only took 3 pills, and you had 2 clean days behind you already, so starting at Day 1 today shouldnt be as bad as your first Day 1.  Read through this thread again - everything still applies.  

We're here for you Steve, so post often - we like to know how you're doing.

Take good care of yourself, STAY HYRDATED, and just keep fighting the good fight.  Most important, you have to make up your mind that this is what you WANT, not what you HAVE TO do.    

Well wishes my friend...

Sandy

[LostNoMore]

Hey Steve. Congrats on wanting to be clean.  No question, detox is no picnic. I looked at it this way; What's worse? A few days of hell, or a life of madness and misery followed by death or a psych ward?  I had to get honest with myself about my addiction; it was going to either kill me, put me in jail or an
institution. I've been where you are right now my friend. Please don't prolong your agony. Stop taking pills and cut off your sources. You can do the detox.
Stop reading about how hellish it is and simply treat the symptoms as they appear. There's a ton of info here about how to minimize the W/Ds. You've cleared the first hurdle...you want it. Now take it!

[steveh444]

Even as I was writing the last couple of lines in my last post I know I was copping out. I am looking for someone who knows to tell me "yeah its ok to backslide 20-30mg / day" without endangering my progress so far. I am fully aware of the drugs insidious nature, and how it is too easy to just go back to the way I was. But I do truly want and NEED to quit, not just for me but for my family. I am just so confused and depressed right now. If it were not for my wife and you guys I would have no chance at this!!

[steveh444]

Heres a summary. Over the course of 3-4 years I built up a resistance to the tune of 60-120mg / day. I took almost every single day during that period with the exception of a day or 2 here and there. Then last Sunday the 12th I ran out of pills and completely out of money. So I didn't take any on Sunday. As I have gotten so good at I hustled up some Sunday night and knew I had to save them for work. So I took 30mg on Mon, and 30mg on Tues. I knew I was seeing my Dr on WED and was figuring to re-up then. My Dr said he wasnt going to refill my script for the hydro. So I didnt take all of Wed. And it was then that I decided mabee it was time to quit. Went all day Thurs without taking. It was Thurs that it really began to set in what I was getting into. I began to suffer terribly. I read all day about what to expect and eventually found you great people here. I had taken half a day off from work on Wed for the DR appt, and couldn't work Thurs. I had to go in Fri no matter what and I did. It was pure hell, and that was when I got creative and got my buddy to bring me the 22.5mg up to work and I took them immediately. I am basically a weak person and could not stand the suffering anymore. So here I am Sat AM, feeling guilty, no hydro, and wandering where I go from here. Have I ruined my recovery?? If I keep breaking down and taking small doses here and there can this still work?? I know there is always tommorrow but cannot imagine putting myself through this again so I feel I have to keep this up right now!!! HELP

[minn66]

Don't look back... focus on today. You can do this! One minute, one hour, one day at a time. Great to see you posted and keep on posting! :)

[MikeInFrance]

You can move forward and fight through the rough days and nights buy if but if you are leaving your avenues open to get more pills and even utilizing those avenues then how do you expect to get past this? The way of thinking about this needs to change. If you just think to yourself that 'if it gets too bad then I'll call someone and get more' then you can't do this. You need to commit to it and finally decide enough is enough. It's what I did around 34 Days ago and never looked back. It was hard to say the least the first week but I am so thankful today that I did it and I never want to experience that again! You need to seriously think about what I am saying steve.... It's not for me! It has to be about you and what you want for your future. It starts now!

[steveh444]

You guys have been so great so Im gonna come clean, Im feeling terrible guilt because you guys have been so kind to me. Yesterday morning when this got unbearable I called a friend who bought me 3 7.5's up to my work. I just couldnt handle it anymore so I took the 22.5mg. I guess thats why my appetite had come back a little by the time I got off work. But after I ate I got nauseous and puked.
Tonight it has gone back to hell. Ive been eating bananas and taking a multi vitamin complex but the RLS is back with a vengeance and Ive had 3 charlie horses that lasted about 45 mins total. Im fixin to take some ambien and try to go back to sleep. I need alot more strength than I feel I have. The constant pain and pressure especially in my abdomen and legs is unbearable