Overdose and letting your Guard down .

[conhall]

Yesterday I went to my usual group meeting and I got the horrible news, another person in my group has died . Shook me to my very core, this is the second person that has been close to me,from my group, her life is over just by not only relapsing but also killing herself . It happened on July 4th she was at a BBQ and alcohol was present and she decided one drink wouldnt hurt she ended up drinking more than one and also with the alcohol her guard came down she decided a few pills might be great also.  Her daughter found her on July 5th dead in her bed.
She was sober almost 1 year her year was August 4th so close and has been in my group since day 1 of her journey she was  so full of life and had done so much to take her life back. I feel like this is a bad dream and I cant shake the way I am feeling I cried all night, I saw so much of myself in this girl we both had a similar story became very close and a great support system for each other. All night I kept fighting the urge to pick up the phone and call her shes the one I would call when I was feeling like this. But shes Gone and I am truly at a loss,
Please never let your guard down I wish she had called me I wish I known, problem is she didnt call me and I didnt know till it was too late and now my friend is gone, I know she thought she knew she could handle it but look what happened..........

[EvolverU]

When I read this post, Conhall, I felt the familiar pain in the center of my chest, my throat & the pit of my stomach. I'm so, so sorry. I know what it is to lose people close to you to OD's. It's so pointless, jarring & heartbreaking all at once and leaves the 'survivors' devastated. I send you my heartfelt wish that you (& the rest of your NA group) will be able to pull together & process this, making you all the more determined to protect yourselves & one another from the insidious voice of 'I can get away with doing this just one time'.

[weaver71]

I'm so sorry. It is a miracle any of us are alive. It's easy to forget that I am in the middle of my last chance. You are possibly the nicest person I have ever met, I am sad with you.

[tommygirl74]

I'm sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I'm just getting clean again. My main reason this time was that almost all my friends I met in recovery last time around are gone, all dead except one, who is in jail for the next 8 yrs. I've been to so many funerals in the past year and I realized I would be next.

The only consolation here is that she is no longer struggling with this disease, she is free and at peace now.

[conhall]

Thank you everyone! i really do appreciate your comments . God Bless you all!

[ariley13]

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this though. It is very important for us all to keep this in mind. This is one way that addiction can end, and it's a possibility for any of us who pick up again. Please don't blame yourself. It sounds like you were a wonderful, supportive friend to this person. Keep their memory alive every day and celebrate both your lives by remaining clean and sober.

[kyle505]

I am so sorry...Really sorry. You've worked hard, and have always been very supportive and honest when commenting on the forum, so I can only imagine how involved you get in a real life, one on one situation.
There have been a couple of posts recently discussing cravings; some people believe that with time the cravings stop. And maybe that's so for them, for now, but it is also the easiest future scenario for an addict to accept. To think that the cravings will last a lifetime can be discouraging - wanting them to stop at some point is normal. But like I've posted before, I think that for most of us it never ends; we learn to deal with the voices over time, but we must always be aware and, to quote Sarah, never let our guard down.
Again, I know how upset you must be. Hang in there.
K