Overdose and letting your Guard down .

[conhall]

Yesterday I went to my usual group meeting and I got the horrible news, another person in my group has died . Shook me to my very core, this is the second person that has been close to me,from my group, her life is over just by not only relapsing but also killing herself . It happened on July 4th she was at a BBQ and alcohol was present and she decided one drink wouldnt hurt she ended up drinking more than one and also with the alcohol her guard came down she decided a few pills might be great also.  Her daughter found her on July 5th dead in her bed.
She was sober almost 1 year her year was August 4th so close and has been in my group since day 1 of her journey she was  so full of life and had done so much to take her life back. I feel like this is a bad dream and I cant shake the way I am feeling I cried all night, I saw so much of myself in this girl we both had a similar story became very close and a great support system for each other. All night I kept fighting the urge to pick up the phone and call her shes the one I would call when I was feeling like this. But shes Gone and I am truly at a loss,
Please never let your guard down I wish she had called me I wish I known, problem is she didnt call me and I didnt know till it was too late and now my friend is gone, I know she thought she knew she could handle it but look what happened..........

[vicki595]

It sounds like her death was accidental and that's tragic...I'm so sorry for you.
Will the group be meeting for a support session?     So many of us have been affected by a great loss due to addiction; some of us have experienced many.
It's always hard...   I know how strong you are and I know you'll take good care. I just wish you didn't have to go through this honey...

[ponco]

Im so sorry for your lost, I lost a stepson a few years back who od from pain meds coke ,zanex, and he was always worried about me oding, he can happen to any of us, because once we start we wont stop, God bless you John

[waterLilly7]

So sorry sweetie,
You were one of my first friends here and we did this together, remember?
I so feel for you. This stuff happens, its so dirty, and we have to move on, and it *****.
Please be glad that you are never going to be in that position, ok?
the most we can do is say a prayer and live on for them.
love and hugs,
Lily

[nursegirl6572]

Oh my, so very sorry.  What a tragedy.  Please turn to others for support, not only here, but especially in your real life....all of you in your group will need the extra support.  These kinds of situations can cause so many strong emotions, and make people even more vulnerable.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.....and remember, there's nothing you could have done...don't go there with your thoughts.  The only way these situations can maybe be avoided when someone gets far along in relapse is to try to identify when someone is early in the stages of relapse....which is hard to do, as you've got to constantly be on guard for yourself.  It's impossible to be on guard for everyone.   That's why everyone must take accountability for themselves.  

God bless your friend, may she rest in peace.  

[dominosarah]

I just went thru this recently, i so understand the why's and should of's.  They will eat you alive and cause alot of stress on our brain.  I look back at the ones i lost and am grateful for the time i knew them.  It also made me look at my recovery even deeper and see what areas i need to work on.  I dont want to become a statistic.  Many times when someone goes back out and relapses they think they can take the same amounts they used too.  I know you are hurting and time will be your friend now.  Sending a comforting hug from me to you~sara

[kyle505]

I am so sorry...Really sorry. You've worked hard, and have always been very supportive and honest when commenting on the forum, so I can only imagine how involved you get in a real life, one on one situation.
There have been a couple of posts recently discussing cravings; some people believe that with time the cravings stop. And maybe that's so for them, for now, but it is also the easiest future scenario for an addict to accept. To think that the cravings will last a lifetime can be discouraging - wanting them to stop at some point is normal. But like I've posted before, I think that for most of us it never ends; we learn to deal with the voices over time, but we must always be aware and, to quote Sarah, never let our guard down.
Again, I know how upset you must be. Hang in there.
K