How do I stay clean this time?

[Soulmindandbody86]

I've been taking hydrocodone for 7 years now. I've tried cutting them out of my life about 2 times before. This last time I was successful for about a month but then had a severe injury and surgery and it sent me back into a downward spiral. I took my last pill last night and I'm already starting to feel the withdrawal effects. I'm so scared because last time I went through this, I remember how awful the effects without the drug were. I know I can get through it but I'm so scared I will relapse. Hydro's are seriously everywhere... If you go to any house and look in their bathroom cabinet, there they are. I'm not proud to admit this but I've taken them out of people's homes before. What happened to me? I never would've thought I'd steal from someone to get a "fix". How can I beat this? It seems hopeless but I can't continue to live this way. It has been ruining my life as well as my health.

I'm scared to go to work on Monday. I have a very social job and I know I'm not going to feel well and I cannot take off.

Any tips/ prayers would be appreciated while I'm going through this. Lord knows I need them.

[Soulmindandbody86]

Just want to let everyone know that it's been one week clean! I'm happy. Still have the right mindset and no more physical symptoms. Cravings are still there but not craving all the time. Doing good, so far. :)

[VICourageous]

SURRENDER, SURRENDER and SURRENDER..This JOURNEY was not meant to be walked alone..Face to Face support will save your LIFE!!!
Bless

[Sonrissa]

Wow, this is so very true, and really hits home!

"You weren't afraid to take lethal does of opiates everyday but you are afraid of a meeting?"

[ariley13]

A burden will be lifted by telling your secrets. It is good for the soul. I promise you will feel so much better after you go to the meeting. Proud of you for doing this!

[keith600]

You have already admitted your darkest secret to everyone you"ve bought from, Dr.s you"ve lied to,your mother,everyone you"ve stolen pills from, the cats already out of the bag. Now tell someone who can help you.

[Soulmindandbody86]

Thank you. It's just scary to admit my darkest secret to strangers. I'm going to look into it now. Thanks for your support.

[ariley13]

Don't be scared of the NA meetings! I have been to AA not NA, but it's the same concept. They are a great place where you can find a lot of folks who are going through, or have been through exactly what you are going through. Great place to learn, better yourself, and get great support.

[Soulmindandbody86]

I've been taking 10-15 5mg tabs almost everyday for 7 years. I'm aware of the Thomas recipe and am using it.

Thanks. :)

[Soulmindandbody86]

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I'm going to need a lot of it right now. I'm going to stay close to this site. I will need the support.

My mom knows about my problem. She helped me get clean this last time. She doesn't know this time that I'm withdrawing. I don't want to disappoint her again by saying I was hooked again and now I'm withdrawing. I'm going to tell my doctor when I see her. I don't want to have to go through this ever again.

I'm scared to go to a NA meeting... Has anyone been? I don't know what to expect.

Again, thank you.

[Sonrissa]

Hi there. How much Hydrocodone have you been taking per day? That will help determine the length and severity of your withdrawal symptoms. Working on Monday might be a little tough. The withdrawal symptoms seem to peak around the 3-5 day mark. Check out the Thomas Recipe for some things that you can do and take to help ease the symptoms. The link for the Thomas recipe is at the bottom of this page. The best thing, is to try to stay as active as possible. Some short walks outside in the fresh air, will really help with the fatigue. Also warm baths with Epsom Salts will help with restlessness and achy muscles.

Try not to beat yourself up too much about the "ways" you used to obtain the pills. We've all done things that we are ashamed of. I know that I did. It's part of addiction.

You asked how to stay clean this time. Well, you can do a few things. Tell your secret. Admit your addiction to friends, family, your doctor... The truth will set you free, and hold you accountable. Cut all your sources for pills. Make sure that you will have no access to pills at all. Delete your dealers phone number, if applicable. Tell your doctor, pharmacy that you are addicted & no more prescriptions for pain pills. Stay away from anyone who has pills. Get some form of aftercare like counseling, AA or NA meetings, group therapy, etc  These are the keys to successfully staying clean.

Take care, I wish you the best. Keep posting here with any questions or if you need support. This is a great place. You can do this and we can help you through every step,

[ariley13]

Hi there! The biggest advice I can give you is to 1) cut your sources whether dealer, doctor, of friend. If you have them available, you will find yourself in a weak moment eventually and use. It's inevitable. 2) Tell your secret. Tell your family, friends, doctors, pharmacist, tell everyone. I know it's uncomfortable and embarrassing, but I say screw pride. You need a good, solid support system in place and you need people who will help to hold you accountable for your actions. If you keep your using a secret, you will just continue to use behind your secret. 3) Set up some sort of aftercare. Counseling, NA/AA meetings. Something. You will need the support and need to re-learn how to think and live without using.
Other than that, you know the deal. Sounds like you have been through the detox part of this before and realize that getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is much harder. Please keep posting and stay close to this site. It's a great resource in your road to recovery and we will be here to support, encourage, and offer advice. Please take care and keep your head up. Good luck to you!