Please give me strenght

[quitinoxys]

I have been on travel ALL week and my back is in extreme pain. I went to the spa in the hotel and had a soak in the hot tub and got a massage. This is where I meet one of my clients and started to talk to him about my chronic back pain. He told me he has the same problem and he has been going to PM for years. I told him I had to do a seminar tomorrow and wish this pain would go away so I can get through it. I explained to him my bout with oxys and he said "I know but when you were taking them I bet your quality of life was probably better then it is now". I told him not really because I was liviing (or barely living) in a drug haze and thats why I stopped taking my pain meds. Keep in mind this is a man who I have emmense professional rs respect for. He told me he has resigned himself to the fact that he will haqve to live the rest of his life on pain meds and thats it. With that being said he handed 4 pills and told me that these won't screw you up like those oxys, and since I respect him I put them in my pocket and told him "If I really need them I might take them". I went back to my hotel room and did a google pill ID on them and found out that they are opana. I am now sitting hear starring at them as my back still hurts like h3!!. Since I am away from my support system I don't have anyone to help me not to give in to the pain. As all of you long time guys know I had a rough time kicking this crap, I dont want to take a step backwards. Today I am 130 days clean but my addict brain is saying one isn't going to hurt you, but I know thats BS. Siiting here typing is the only thing stopping from swallowing them. I thought this was all over but I guess addiction is rearing its ugly head again. So please GIVE me strenght---quitin

[10356]

Have a Good day quitinoxys.. I'm happy for you and your wife. You beat your addiction tonight !! Thank the Good spirits.. good night hope your back feels a lil better in the morning... lesa

[laurel453]

GUAu.. have just woke up and seen your post, quitin... WELL DONE , i am so happy for you...when you think of this you have to feel proud of you !!  Don't feel discouraged for having felt like taking those pills, please.. I am also sure that having them make your pain even worse, this is how our minds play with us making everything worse to us but you have have overcome this moment and here you are, you had those thoughts but your actions at the end changed the outcome, you with help changed the outcome, BE PROUD, QUITIN :)

[laurel453]

what a wonderful team you and your wife make , btw :)

[LeaAnn807]

Thank goodness!  Way to go!!!!!! I'm so proud of you for this.

[gizzy32]

So glad you made it through that, congrats buddy. How are you feeling today?

[dominosarah]

Hope you are feeling better today.        sara