Rehab

[Dane74]

Hey y'all, I am actually on the plane now off to rehab!!!!   I am so scared of detox and leaving my family, but i know deep down inside, this is the right thing to do.  I can only pray that i will get through this and come out stronger than ever and continue to seek therapy.  This really has been a long dark road for me and i am ready to take charge of my life, i am going into rehab with an open mind and i am going to fight this demon with everything i got in me, and i will WIN!!!!  I will not let myself or my family down that's for sure.  i am scared of the unknown and what life will be  like clean,  since i only really know life on pills, but i am ready to see life with a clear mind.  I want to say thank you to all of you that have stuck by me through this journey,  I cant thank you all enough for the support.  So now its time for me to put on my armor vest, fight this demon, because now that i want to be clean the devil will be trying to come after me with his arrows, but i got my armor vest on and i will beat his A$$!!!!!  i will keep y'all posted as much as i can while in rehab and for sure when i return home, but in the meantime i want to say to all, keep fighting and soon life will be allot clearer and just beautiful, i know there is light at the end of this tunnel and i cant wait to see it!!!!!  XO to all Dane

[rnangel]

Wowzers girl, I'm so proud of you! I too am waiting to hear when I go to rehab. It's what I need to do to deal with this last relapse. One thing I have learned is how to pick myself up quicker and get back on track. Reaching out no longer humiliates me...it's foundational to my strength and courage ;o)

I know it's difficult to be away from your family but this is your time to heal. It sounds as though you are well on your way. Remember what I told you about the tears of futility that kill laboratory rats?? Well you have shed enough tears to conquer the bubonic plague! LMAO! You emotions are spring loaded and in no way can every tear be analyzed and explained. Let each tear lighten your heavy heart and each breath draw love and light toward the beautiful spirit that is YOU! I'm sending you lots of love and prayers XOXOX

[bama88]

Hey dane im so proud of you!!! a week is awesome. whit shoot. i can't wait to hear your stores. i think of you all the time...your my buddy

[ImDONENoMore]

Hey dane!  So so proud of you!  I'm really glad to hear you're taking everything you can out of this experience.  It's going to help you when you get home.  Just go slow okay?  And try not to worry so much about being away from home.  When you get back, you're going to be on your way to becoming the person you've always known you were so you're getting there.  It's a slow process and a long road to recovery, but as you know, it's worth it.

And we'll be here for you.  I'm so freaking proud of you!  :)

[Dane74]

Hi guys, well i am a week clean today!!!  I am not feeling well at all, but as gnarly says you need to feel ok with just being ok.  I am receiving lots and lots of therapy here in rehab and learning to re learn myself, if that makes any sense?  My emotions are all over the board and all i do is cry.  Today in group was my time to talk and i just couldn't talk, i just cried and i dont even know why, so embarrassing to say the least, but wow, talk about all the emotions coming back, i guess this is what it is like to feel again since i was so numb by all the opiates.  I am very homesick and i only committed to 3 weeks but yall will be proud, i made a comprise and i am paying for  extra one on one sessions with each therapist a  week so its like doing a 4 week program into 3 weeks!!! I am proud that i decided to do that, i actually am now getting in group and learning so much .  I came into rehab with an open mind saying that i will give this my all and try everything before i knock it.  So i grew to love medication and yoga and when i return i will continue do so as well.  I have not been around much since my days are so filled but i just did a quick lurking around and so many people are relapsing, and its so sad to hear.  Come on guys lets fight this all together and beat this b1tch, we just have to want it for ourselves and nobody else!!!   I am going to win, who else is on board with me???

[Dane74]

Thanks guys!!! Gosh guys i just love y'all!!!!!  I am in rehab/medical detox, and i was put on subutex not suboxone.  Basically depending on the individual you usually stay in the detox house for a few days and then you work your way up to the main house at a level one, once you prove that you attend all your sessions and groups show participation then you graduate to a level 2 and thats where you get outside privileges like going to the movies and such, of course supervised.  So of course the nurse made an error when he explained my taper coming off of the subutex, i demanded to talk to the doctor to discuss the taper and i was right the nurses screwed up, tomorrow will start my taper, as of now i take 4 mg in am and 4 in pm, tomorrow it will be 4 and 3 and so forth, and yes, before i leave i will be off of the subutex.  I do wish the first few days they didnt allow outside contact but they do, only becasue its hard to be so slefish when i have to keep looking at the clock as to when to call the kids and such, but its working, but my mind is not 100 percent focused on me, maybe next week when i am booked up it will get better.  Thank you guys for always being such a great support  structure for me, i will contine to write my journey with yall, day 4 is almost gone and ready to embrace day 5!!!

[ImDONENoMore]

Go slow dane.  One moment at a time.  And IB is right, if you're pissed off, then this is working.  Change is hard no matter how good it might be for you.  All you have to do is think about now.  Nothing else.  I'm really proud of you.