Rehab

[Dane74]

Hey y'all, I am actually on the plane now off to rehab!!!!   I am so scared of detox and leaving my family, but i know deep down inside, this is the right thing to do.  I can only pray that i will get through this and come out stronger than ever and continue to seek therapy.  This really has been a long dark road for me and i am ready to take charge of my life, i am going into rehab with an open mind and i am going to fight this demon with everything i got in me, and i will WIN!!!!  I will not let myself or my family down that's for sure.  i am scared of the unknown and what life will be  like clean,  since i only really know life on pills, but i am ready to see life with a clear mind.  I want to say thank you to all of you that have stuck by me through this journey,  I cant thank you all enough for the support.  So now its time for me to put on my armor vest, fight this demon, because now that i want to be clean the devil will be trying to come after me with his arrows, but i got my armor vest on and i will beat his A$$!!!!!  i will keep y'all posted as much as i can while in rehab and for sure when i return home, but in the meantime i want to say to all, keep fighting and soon life will be allot clearer and just beautiful, i know there is light at the end of this tunnel and i cant wait to see it!!!!!  XO to all Dane

[minn66]

Hi Dane, great to hear from you! I understand your frustration. We tend to want things to go on our schedule. Take your time with the therapy. You will let it out when you are ready. I am not very good at baring my soul either. It does seem as though you are doing well. We're all here rooting for you. I have decided to go to therapy through EAP and it is a scary prospect for me.

Take care and keep us posted,

Minn :)

[IBKleen]

Dane, you are in a detox center? I'm sorry hun, I just don't remember your entire story. I ask because generally a rehab or treatment center does not detox you so they are very different. I assume you were put on Suboxone? Are you still on it?

Listen, I know this is rough but they know what they are doing so please stick it out and let them help you. I also know this is out of your comfort zone and that is a good thing. If it is uncomfortable---then it is working!!

I am shocked that you are permitted outside contact but keep talking!! Hang in there. It will be okay.

[quitinoxys]

Sorry about all the typos I am typing this on my blackberry which I am terrible at.

[quitinoxys]

Dane it is a big freaking deal to be 4 days clean and you should be very proud of yorself as we all are here of you, try not to put all your hard work down. You sound like you are making it through. I know it's tough but you are determoned and you WILL make it. It's good that you are getting some counsoling and therapy as it helps us figure out why we use. I know it is easier said than done but try not to fight the emotions tlet them come out you may re-discover yourself. I know I did when I went through counseling. I went kickin and screaming saying I don't need this I know why I use. HA I knew nothing until I learned everything, so go with the flow right now and relax. I will say a prayer for you and ask God to guide you down the road to sobriety and the light at the end of the tunnel. Also you said they tapered you down from 8 mg subs to 4 mg are you OK at 4mg. If so I would leave it there so it will be easier to taper off. Good Luck anf God Bless you---Rick

[ricart70]

hope you get over to the other building soon.Are they going to take you off of suboxone before you leave?

[Dane74]

Thank guys, i am so glad to have ya'll on my corner!!!!  I have mentioned this site to the other people i have made friends with and only 1 guy is interested, how bizarre is that?  Whatever, i just i have to be selfish and just worry about me for a change.  Today is another clean and its not a good day for me, i am so tired and just scared, and unfortunately the cravings are coming back:(  The people that know me on here know for a fact i am honest and i am sad to say i  just want to take a pill, i hate to even say it but its so true.  The weekends are dead around here, so i have so much time on my hands to just think,Monday my schedule will be so filled up and i actually enjoy that.  I see so many therapists  all in one day monday -friday and it does get draining.   They are waiting for me to break down and cry and i cant let it all out, i still have not done that yet, i am sure that will be coming soon, i well up in session and then stop myself.  Vicki, is it normal to go from 4mgs twice a day and then start my taper to 4mg once a day?  I m freaking out, and all i have done today is sit in my room and cry, i keep getting the run round first they told me i moved up to a level one which means your out of detox and can move to a regular room, but NOW they say nope you are still at detox your not moving,  after they F'ing told  me to pack up and i can move into the house.  The house is the main area where everyone is and hangs out, the detox is off the beaten path in the dungeon i call it.  My emotions are so crazy and i keep getting told by someone different a different story,ugg i am so pissed off today.  If it means anything i am now 4 days clean,,,big freaking deal......