THANKS EVERYONE! PLEASE ANSWER!

[chaddavis333]

As many times as I have been through this, you would think by now I would know the answer to this question. But, the mind does forget. It forgets how much I hate wd/s and what they do to me. Here is the questions, taking 180 pills over 2 weeks and couple of days of hydro 5mgs has put me in another fight with wd's. This time when I am done, I am going to NA or something. This is stupid do this to my self. Since my last 3 pills were Saturday, how much longer will this last? Have I permantly put myself in this position for ever by shocking my nervous system? Since I am taking cymalta with a ssnri is that going to help?? I need to get back to normal and do my job. I know I sound like someone who wants to have and not pay for it, and maybe I am. This a good lesson I will not ever do this again. Thanks to all of you who always answers my crybaby post. YOu help me throught this.

[akitagirl11]

I really can relate to you, but please don't beat yourself up too much.  You have already hurt yourself enough with the pills.  We all have.  I am only on day 3 & I am starting to wonder if I caused any serious damage too.  I forgot what normal feels like, I never made it that far because of relapse.  This time is different though.  I am writing about my day to day feelings.  That way, long after the W/Ds are gone and my mind wants to start that game of 'just have one', I will have something to remind me of why I quit & why I can't.
Also, something else I read, somewhere, said that once our brain rewires itself & becomes addicted to it, we are permanently wired for addiction to that substance.  That's why they say 1 is too much & 1000 is never enough.  With pills it's bad because after we have been clean for awhile, we may unintentional overdosing because our brain still needs alot to get high but our bodies have readjusted to functioning without it.  I hope that helps.  I am still very new and have yet to feel peace, so all I am going on is faith and trusting the people on here who have already made it to the other side.  

[vicki595]

Hey Chad!   I don't think you need to go to rehab. What you DO need to do is not feel guilty!!  Think about what brought you to the day that you got 180 plus pills. What could you have done differently? What triggered the purchase/Rx ?  

Once you understand all of that...you go from there!   I don't think you've done any permanent damage but I don't really know that for sure...mostly,if for no other reason, you need to stop the abuse because it's so damn hard on your body/nervous system!

Keep posting...i don't remember how long you've been clean or how many times you've relapsed in the past...?

[overopiates]

The point of a rehab suggestion I think is more to get the resources to quit and STAY sober!!!Yup w/d is crappy but after a few days we start2feel better and if u dont Have an effective AFTERCARE plan u will once again4get the misery of w/d,relapse etc.B happy this is only a2week relapse but thats a ton of pills n2weeks.U know what supplies u need2get through the physical w/d but u need2focus on STAYING CLEAN which is so much harder.I take cymbalta works great for me but I was taking it a couple months b4I quit and was on celexa b4that neither helped til I quit and Have stayed clean.I Have said many times AD meds work but only if they have a chance too.I was taking way too many lortabs for them to Have a fighting chance.U keep relapsing maybe out patient rehab is an option for u so u can get all the tools u need to be sucessful.Good luck.

[chaddavis333]

You really think I need to go to detox?? Only 2 weeks worth of pills. I know I am going to NA after I feel better, but detox?? I did not even do that when I had my Tramadol incident.

[spanky595]

   You first need to go to detox and then to a treatment center.  There will be plenty of NA meetings to go to.  People who are there for the same reason.  Go to the nears hospital and they will help you get started.  You can do it.

[ImDONENoMore]

I think the best thing you can do this time around is learn from the last time around.

Seriously - avoid the pitfalls that caused you to relapse the last time - meaning learn from the mistakes (we've all made a ton of those).

And do something DIFFERENTLY this time.  Aftercare?  Not sure if you're doing that - but as you know now putting the pills down is one thing.  Staying off of them is QUITE another.  Totally doable you just have to prepare yourself for the time later.  So find a meeting - or a therapist - clergymen, whatever suits you and get that extra help.

Good luck to you!