Aa
Time to take the plunge..
Well I took my last quarter sub this morning and by tonight should really start feeling the wds. I've got my brother coming up tommorow to help with the kids so I'm verrrry relieved about that. I tried a couple weeks ago to go ct but having no help with my young ones made it pretty impossible. Glad and very grateful that I finally got help lined up. Since then I've been taking very small amounts of sub, hardly enough to keep me out of full blown wds so I'm hoping the two weeks I've spent feeling crappy pay off in that I won't get hit too bad but no matter what wds throw at me I'm feeling ok about it because I have help coming.
On one hand I'm nervous and even a bit scared but really I just wanna get this over with!!! I am going to do as many meetings as I can once I get through detox. I might even join AA because in my area there are far more AA meetings and I really could do 90 in 90. NA around here doesn't have that many meetings so at best I could only do 3 maybe 4 a week. I want to do 90 in 90 or very close to it because I know in my heart I'll NEED to. I've gotten through the worst wds imaginable before but like so many others it's the depression and anxiety that got me both other times I quit. I didn't seek aftercare those times and I hope by really throwing myself head first into recovery that will be what makes the difference this time. I have to face the issues that led me to self medicate and although it's going to be very painful and very uncomfortable I know it's neccessary to face those demons and get rid of them so they can't keep hurting me. I've carried around incredible pain inside for far too long and I have never learned how to truly let go of the past. Hopefully recovery will help me do just that. Because living the way I have is not an option anymore. I've lost enough to the stupid pills, almost lost my life too and enough is enough. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and I'm willing to do what it takes to stay clean. I'm not kidding myself though, I know this is going to be very very hard. I'm glad to have you guys here because it will make the coming days, weeks, months etc easier to get through knowing there are people here I can talk to who know exactly what it's like to get off opiates. That's very reassuring. So here goes..
On one hand I'm nervous and even a bit scared but really I just wanna get this over with!!! I am going to do as many meetings as I can once I get through detox. I might even join AA because in my area there are far more AA meetings and I really could do 90 in 90. NA around here doesn't have that many meetings so at best I could only do 3 maybe 4 a week. I want to do 90 in 90 or very close to it because I know in my heart I'll NEED to. I've gotten through the worst wds imaginable before but like so many others it's the depression and anxiety that got me both other times I quit. I didn't seek aftercare those times and I hope by really throwing myself head first into recovery that will be what makes the difference this time. I have to face the issues that led me to self medicate and although it's going to be very painful and very uncomfortable I know it's neccessary to face those demons and get rid of them so they can't keep hurting me. I've carried around incredible pain inside for far too long and I have never learned how to truly let go of the past. Hopefully recovery will help me do just that. Because living the way I have is not an option anymore. I've lost enough to the stupid pills, almost lost my life too and enough is enough. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and I'm willing to do what it takes to stay clean. I'm not kidding myself though, I know this is going to be very very hard. I'm glad to have you guys here because it will make the coming days, weeks, months etc easier to get through knowing there are people here I can talk to who know exactly what it's like to get off opiates. That's very reassuring. So here goes..
That scripture you posted above about God restoring what the locusts have eaten is one of my favorites. TY for posting that, I feel like I needed to see that as a reminder to trust God in all things.
Anyhow, I wanna tell you a story, true story that is. The first time I went through withdrawals was years ago (in 10 years there was the first time CT and then in '07 tapering with sub and then this last and hopefully final time tapering with sub) Anyhow, the first time, I didn't know about Medhelp or this board, I just knew that I was so sick of being trapped on pills that I decided to quit. Well, back then, not only was I taking lortab and soma but also xanax and prozac..alll prescribed. I decided to stop taking everything and that is what I did and boy did I go through physical and mental h*ll. The mental was unbelievable. (looking back I know it was stopping the xanax and prozac abruptly that really made me freak out..or feel like I was freaking out)
By day 3 and no sleep at all, I was even starting to hallucinate, I kept feeling like I would see something out of the corner of my eye..but nothing there. And the thoughts that went through my head of that I was going to die or moreso, I was going insane and would never recover from this. It was really so bad mentally that I started begging God for deliverance. Since me and you believe, we both know that God is more than capable of taking it in a second but He didn't. The whole time I am crying out, begging God for what seemed like hours, the still small voice behind all the screaming kept saying "common to man," common to man..over and over ever so softly. Finally, I started calming down because I knew God was trying to get my attention so I started thinking..what in the world are you talking about God, "common to man?" What does that mean? I knew I should look in my bible for those key words and see what God had to say but I was literally so wiped out I just laid there.
Some time passed, had to go to the bathroom, in this little room before the bathroom is a small dressing room and my mama has kept a small new testament on one of the tables for years. Right when I looked at it, the words "common to man" rang through my head again.
So...I picked up the small bible and when I did, a piece of paper fell out that had probably been in there for years...this is what was wrote on it -
God's Promise -
1 Corinthians 10-13
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way of escape, that ye may be able to bear it. "
There it was, those words, "common to man," in just what I needed to hear fell out of the bible on an old piece of paper. God was listening and He was letting me know that I would not die, that I would be ok, that this would pass, and that He was with me.
The same goes for you tired. Block the thoughts of I can't with I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me. hugs! lyn
Anyhow, I wanna tell you a story, true story that is. The first time I went through withdrawals was years ago (in 10 years there was the first time CT and then in '07 tapering with sub and then this last and hopefully final time tapering with sub) Anyhow, the first time, I didn't know about Medhelp or this board, I just knew that I was so sick of being trapped on pills that I decided to quit. Well, back then, not only was I taking lortab and soma but also xanax and prozac..alll prescribed. I decided to stop taking everything and that is what I did and boy did I go through physical and mental h*ll. The mental was unbelievable. (looking back I know it was stopping the xanax and prozac abruptly that really made me freak out..or feel like I was freaking out)
By day 3 and no sleep at all, I was even starting to hallucinate, I kept feeling like I would see something out of the corner of my eye..but nothing there. And the thoughts that went through my head of that I was going to die or moreso, I was going insane and would never recover from this. It was really so bad mentally that I started begging God for deliverance. Since me and you believe, we both know that God is more than capable of taking it in a second but He didn't. The whole time I am crying out, begging God for what seemed like hours, the still small voice behind all the screaming kept saying "common to man," common to man..over and over ever so softly. Finally, I started calming down because I knew God was trying to get my attention so I started thinking..what in the world are you talking about God, "common to man?" What does that mean? I knew I should look in my bible for those key words and see what God had to say but I was literally so wiped out I just laid there.
Some time passed, had to go to the bathroom, in this little room before the bathroom is a small dressing room and my mama has kept a small new testament on one of the tables for years. Right when I looked at it, the words "common to man" rang through my head again.
So...I picked up the small bible and when I did, a piece of paper fell out that had probably been in there for years...this is what was wrote on it -
God's Promise -
1 Corinthians 10-13
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way of escape, that ye may be able to bear it. "
There it was, those words, "common to man," in just what I needed to hear fell out of the bible on an old piece of paper. God was listening and He was letting me know that I would not die, that I would be ok, that this would pass, and that He was with me.
The same goes for you tired. Block the thoughts of I can't with I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me. hugs! lyn
Well I drifted in and out of sleep. Nightmares kept waking me up. I know it's normal to have them but ugh they're freaky. Yes go to a meeting , it actually made the wds less intense while I was there. That meeting really helped strengthen me.
But today I'm freaking out. I woke up and the first thing that popped in my head was my addiction screaming at me "you can't do this!!!" I'm feeling very messed up and just wanna pull my hair out. Really bouncing off the walls today. I knew it was coming bur man. Trying to stay focused is getting hard but I'm not giving up.
But today I'm freaking out. I woke up and the first thing that popped in my head was my addiction screaming at me "you can't do this!!!" I'm feeling very messed up and just wanna pull my hair out. Really bouncing off the walls today. I knew it was coming bur man. Trying to stay focused is getting hard but I'm not giving up.
It's 4:39 am so hopefully you're getting some sleep. It's funny cause I thought s*&# yesterday was Tuesday and I wanted to get on here and see if your brother came and you quit the subs and all that. I have been following your posts. I'm glad to see you went ahead with your plans. But anyway, I wanted to see how you were doing then when I get on here you're writing posts that speak directly to me. This is my third go round and once again I have no real plans for aftercare. After reading your posts though I think I'm going to go to a meeting tomorrow. If you can do it in wds, there's no reason for me not to go.................So thanks and good luck with everything
HI low grad fevers are not uncommon it just part of the withdrawals you got to remember your brain is the main frame for the rest of your body it controls everything right now your brain chemistry is all messed up thats why all the different feelings and body functions all freak out.....dont woorie about it also your blood presure will spike thats normal for detox to
hows the creepy crawllys and restless legs going for you now //??
hows the creepy crawllys and restless legs going for you now //??
This is weird but I've developed a fever all of a sudden. I don't ever remember getting a fever in the past. Any thoughts on this?
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