Tramadol Cold Turkey Withdrawal???

[PlowBoy36420]

Guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you a little about myself!
First I want to admit I'm and addict to Tramadol, not proud to tell anyone this but I feel it must be done in order to get through this...

I am a 37 year old single father of the most two important people in my life, I have been for 11 years. I started taking pills back in 10/10 due to falling, I have took pills before and lets say I am not the kind to take as directed. At the time of the fall I was taking loratab 10mg for many years and knowingly taking them at a high rate (8 to 10+ per day) and would search them out when I was out. After a few months of shattering my wrist It got to the point I was running out of a script of 240ct within two weeks and begging if I had to in order to obtain any pain meds. My doctor thought it would be a good idea to give me Tramadol 50mg (130ct to start) along with my loratabs and lets say I thought it was the best thing ever (or so I thought)

I already attempted to quit taking tabs before and knew it wasn't something I was prepared for, I finally weaned off the tabs but only going full on tram-track ride which was nearly 2 years now. I'd like to stop for a minute to let everyone know I am a family oriented man and believe in it 100% because of my kids, now this being said I want to let you know the dark side of me that I am no where near proud to admit. I would take my 240ct Tramadol and go search for more and my 84 year old grandmother would be one of my main stops.

We had a major change in life, where My kids and I moved out of state and not thinking the move would be a permanent move. 05/22/15 we made our trip and I had a 3 month refill script on file at my hometown pharmacy, I'm even surprised that I was able to take my limit 6-50mg per day and keep it at that rate for the three months I thought we would be here but by God's hands I did. The time come that I knew we was going to live here for good and all of a sudden I was in awe and denial that I would no longer have a pain doctor to fill my fix and then the day came to where I had nothing left and nobody to go to here.

I ran out the same morning my kids needed to start school on 08/04 and I am now on day 5 cold turkey. Today seems to be the worst of the worst but I just know its all in my mind but only 2 people I know I can talk to are my children. I did tell them so they might have some sort of understanding of what might come. I did call my grandmother (grandpa is probably flipping in his resting place) to have her mail me some but I AM SO TERRIFIED of the day they make it here.  

I guess what I want to ask is. Should I send them back or keep the damn things to prolong my tormented mind. I just want to go back to that normal person  I was back in high school???

I know it don't seem to make since but the words that lay before you all are the only words that came to my mind, Thank you for letting me rant. Day 5 cold turkey is almost over, soon for day six.God is in control

[clean_in_ks]

Welcome to the forum!
Sorry your post sat so long before you got a reply.  Couple of things about that....1) the weekends are typically slow around here and 2) you originally posted in the Social forum which is also slower than the Substance Abuse Forum.  Now that you've been moved here, you'll start getting more feedback.

It's really good that you recognize you have a problem....admitting that is the first step for all of us.  From reading your post....you are off the tabs now completely?  And you are now on Day 5 Tramadol free?

Day 5 is GOOD!!!  While you ARE in the thick of it.....you are DOING IT!
You should be proud of yourself.  I can only tell you what "I" would do with the pkg of trams from Gma.....if she doesn't truly NEED them herself.....I'd flush them RIGHT AWAY!  Don't give yourself time to have that argument in your head....because with pills in our hands...addiction always wins.

How much do you know about addiction?  And Tramadol?  Do you know Trams are a synthetic opiate with an anti depressant component in them?
It would be good to have some ADULT support right now.  We have a lot of people on this forum that have successfully made it to the other side of their tramadol addiction.  You sound like you value your children more than anything and being a single Dad isn't an easy calling.  You are giving yourself the best possible gift you can give yourself, first, and then your children by freeing yourself of your addiction.  Please hang around....keep posting.  We're all rootin for you~

[BearsFan1966]

Hi and welcome! Every thing clean said is so very true! My first CT was off of trams, norco and vics. It was one HE(( of a ride!! They are one of the worst meds to get off of due to the anit-depressant in them and are now a opiate! With that being said flush the trams never, never get back on them!! You are in the thick of it right now and should be turning a corner any day! Turn that corner and never look back!
You can do this if you want your life back and we will all be here for you!
Drink a lot of water and or Gatorade and make sure you eat!

[Frogger76]

Hey there!! I too was addicted to trams, I also had to cold turkey it. Of all the opiates I took, trams was my DOC. I was at 50-60, 50mg pills per day. Detoxing off trams is hard, but doable. If your at day 5, keep going! Send the pills back to your grandma. This is gonna be tough, but in another week or so your gonna be feeling a lot better. Trams take a little longer to get outta your system than most other opiates. Also your gonna be withdrawing from the antidepressant that's in it as well, be prepared for some pretty intense anxiety, all normal. Insomnia is just a given.

I'm not trying to scare ya or anything (lol), I just want ya to kinda know what to expect. The withdrawals are temporary, you must remember that. The longer you take em, the harder and more lengthy the wds will be. Please don't take anymore, you can do this! I know it's hard. I know exactly how you feel and what your going through. It will get better, it just takes time (and lots of patience). Good luck to you! Take care...

[PlowBoy36420]

End of day 6 and thank God I don't have the key to mailbox but dread is still in my heart knowing that package will be in the box.

My heart is racing knowing night is falling and sleep might not come. I look for no sympathy because I jumped on the tram-track, I chose this life.

Day 6 ends at 3am to start day 7, I can't believe I made it this far. I feel bad counting days passed (is that okay?) When I should be happy knowing I made it this far.

Tram-track has derailed for me and now it's time to clean this mess I've made a thank God he allowed me to see my kids smile. My kids,(Turtle age 10,  Skid age 13) keep me moving in the right direction and that's what matters.

[PlowBoy36420]

End of day 6 and thank God I don't have the key to mailbox but dread is still in my heart knowing that package will be in the box.

My heart is racing knowing night is falling and sleep might not come. I look for no sympathy because I jumped on the tram-track, I chose this life.

Day 6 ends at 3am to start day 7, I can't believe I made it this far. I feel bad counting days passed (is that okay?) When I should be happy knowing I made it this far.

Tram-track has derailed for me and now it's time to clean this mess I've made a thank God he allowed me to see my kids smile. My kids,(Turtle age 10,  Skid age 13) keep me moving in the right direction and that's what matters.

[ArmyWifeMomof4]

It is so much better over on this side!! I am 32 with 5 kids and my oldest who is 9 started noticing I was popping pills. She asked why I had to take pills to be able to take care of them. My husband deploys a lot and I have to take on the mom and dad role all the time but that hit me hard because in my head I would actually think "I need these or I won't be able to take care of my kids." To have one of them call me out on it really hit hard. I looked at them and thought OMG I love these guys more then anything and my own father picked the drinking and drugs over us. I was heartbroken that they thought that of me. They are the reason I breathe every morning. They are my life. So I put the Trams down and never looked back.  So much better living on the sober side of life. Get rid of those pills and just take it day by day. I know God has been working on my heart to just be content and enjoy where I am in life and quit looking for something better.

[PlowBoy36420]

God has me where he wants and others as well.
This site has been so helpful by letting me see I'm not alone and that means more than I can even explain.
I have a lot of respect for you

[PlowBoy36420]

I know I've heard of rls but is there such a thing as restless arm syndrome?

[Frogger76]

Omg yes! Mine was horrible when I was detoxing off trams. It never affected my legs, just my hands and arms. I remember squeezing my hands til they were numb, it drove me crazy. I did find that soaking my hands in cool water for a few minutes helped a little. Btw, congrats on 6 days!! On to day 7!

[ArmyWifeMomof4]

I had hot packs, the ones you can put in the microwave and I got them as hot as I could stand and put them on my arms. It at least got me to where I could fall asleep but yes the Restless Leg was bad but the Restless Arm is overly crazy.

[PlowBoy36420]

It's to the point it's giving me anxiety attacks now, I can do heat better than cold. All I have is rice, guess I can pack a running sock and heat it up in the microwave

[clean_in_ks]

If you don't have a hot pad or electric blanket....you can heat some towels in the dryer. The rice in the sock is good too, but investing in a hot pad would be worth every penny, imo~  I I LIVED with a full length hot pad down my front~  It soothed me somehow~  You're doing GREAT...Day 7 here you come!!
And when you open that mail box.....FLUSH immediately without thinking about it, okay?

[PlowBoy36420]

I plan on flushing as fast as I can, at least I won't be able to get in the box for a few days, my cousin won't be back from training.

I made it to day 7, I did get sleep but not the rest I wanted.
Thank you all for the support, it means more than you know

[PlowBoy36420]

Day 7? I'm in awe here lol

[PlowBoy36420]

I know it's day 7 but I'm feeling like I'm at my lowest.
Thought the worst was over but again I've been proven wrong. Not the kind of man that wants to cry but the songs that made me happy yesterday are making me depressed...
Going to go buy myself breakfast,  going to get better I just know it

[ArmyWifeMomof4]

It does get better and for me between all the symptoms in the word the depression was the worst. Those are the days I buried my head in my Bible and cried. A lot. I wondered if I would ever get that excited feeling again from just living life. Good news is yes I did. You can do this.

[ArmyWifeMomof4]

In the world. Not word. Haha.

[PlowBoy36420]

Thank you, I needed that

[Life360_Dave]

There is a point that we get to that starts the ride down hill. Its a very subtle feeling that i can do this. The feeling will come and go and is a result of the opiates leaving the body. The first time you feel it there is a short moment of relief and its important to remember that moment to get to the next level. At about the 2 week mark that feeling will be almost natural and youll realize that you are now in control, not the drugs.

[PlowBoy36420]

Life right now seems out of reach, although I think I have a grip it's the pill that has a grip but not for long

[ArmyWifeMomof4]

Life360 is right. Hang on to those little moments because soon those will start taking over the bad ones. Promise.

[dedicatedtostop]

Hi!! Great news on Day 7!! Be proud of yourself! I can tell through yours post how much you want this and how hard you are fighting for it! If I have bad days, or " moments, I repeat to myself that the only ending to continue taking pills is death.

Hey listen, grown men can cry too and I say cry... Get it out! Your emotions are waking up bc you have been numb to them for a long time now. While this is a good thing, I also know how you feel and it can be very saddening too... If you let it! I cried like a baby for a solid 2 days but felt better once I got it out!
Please flush the pills. You will NEVER ever have to go through THIS day again!

You have so many supporters here, myself included, that are pulling for you! Cry if you need to, scream if you must but please don't open that package.

Come post here as often as you would like and we will all work to get you through this! Right now your body is going through a lot. Surrender yourself to it and buckle up your armor, now is time to fight for your life like a Warrior!!

You have this!!

[dedicatedtostop]

I also meant to tell you... You mentioned that your not looking for sympathy. What myself, and many others here can offer you is empathy

[PlowBoy36420]

I promise,  I will return to sender/flush/throwing them out
I want to make it more now than anything else