Checking in...

[evolv]

Hi everyone, just wanted to get back on the radar - I have turned a corner with tapering, got a little too greedy and got a panic attack so I had to reel it back, but I have been 5 days now at almost half my highest dose of these evil things - I had a great meeting this am and I realize the want to use is finally gone. I finally got so disgusted with myself and the waste of time that I have been through, that I am on the path and committed. Wanted to re-connect because I need support - sitting at my desk NOT drinking and NOT being semi-buzzed is a strange and uncomfortable way to pass 12 hours... Hope you all are well.

[evolv]

thanks you guys, it means so much. please don't congratulate me - I don't deserve it yet - I haven't done anything yet compared to what most people on here have accomplished. it's tiny steps for me, i genuinely appreciate your support, it means a lot. i jump back and forth between wanting to just jump into the abyss CT and stay with this - but as long as i don't go BACKWARDS, I'm ok with it. My brain feels like it's become split down the middle... my thoughts jump back and forth from side to side. anyways, thank you all.

[MSmith2220]

I hope you feel more empowered over yourself and your addiction. Tapering is soooo hard for some people. I know because I am one of them. Its so easy to skip the process because of greed and decide to go CT.

I think and feel you are in complete control at the moment and you should feel great about it. However, don't forget that there will always be a day when your back is against the wall. Remember days like today, how you feel, why you feel this way, what you are doing, and where you are going. That way you can push back against it and feel great, once again!

Congrats, my friend.

[Brightfutureahead]

Just wanted to give my support...keep posting and keep us updated!

[bama88]

Your doing great. Just keep focusing on getting off these things. Its a difficult task but doable. And the reward is so worth it. As addicts we became so used to instant gradification we forgot our patience. Patience is a an awesome thing. Its just so hard readjusting back to life without those mind numbing pills. But time is your friend. Just keep your eye on the prize. Before you know it this will be over. Hugs

[evolv]

Thanks you guys, this site has been such a huge help. I can't even see the light yet - it's going to be a while but I am resolved and I feel really good about it. (Well, I don't FEEL good, but that's ok...) In a way the constant mild wd symptoms are keeping me in check. Like they're reminding me "Take this or take this x100!" I want this so bad, and I am incredibly impatient - just trying to remember to breathe and chill out. Thanks again everyone.

[conhall]

keep On Going strong You will get there and Just think no more counting or feeling guilty and Life does get better and it gets easier each day. I am pulling for you and sending you lots of support :)))

[OpenMind24hours]

Glad to hear from you! Take it easy on your taper and stabilise each cut. No sense in rushing it. 50% reduction is great. You really want your freedom. In the end it's all going to be worth it. Great u had a good meeting today. I'm babysitting my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter, with NickJr on the tv while missing my favourite NA meeting!

[Pat1956100]

Hi there, I was wondering how you were doing.
Good job on the taper and keep it going.
I promise you, it does get better and you start to feel happy and comfortable without the pills.  The happiness is such a great feeling without the pills.  It has been so long since I have felt it, I didn't know what it was at first lol.
Also laughing feels so great now.  I find myself laughing really hard at funny things where when I was on pills I was just zombied.
You will be happy sitting at your desk again without the pills.

[YesLife4Me]

Hi Evolv!    Getting used to living life without some mind altering is an experience in itself, isn't it?  :)    We get so used to having to take something to deal with everyday tasks that we forgot what it's like to not use.    But, each day does get better and better.   One day at a time!