32 days clean

[Charetti]

Hi All,

I have been here before and got off the pills twice. both times I thought I could take them casually but I was fooling myself. It would be OK for a while but sooner or later my desire for more and more would kick in.  Over the last year I was taking long acting and short acting morphine from my doctor. (exaggerated my pain) and buying oxycontin off another guy.

Then a weird thing happened, something completely new in my 17 year addiction.  I developed central sleep apnea.  It was horrendous and was affecting every area of my life.  My body and mind was suffering from a complete lack of good sleep.  I would sit up for hours every night.  I could fall asleep anywhere, anytime in the day.  I was told it was likely from the narcotics.  

So in an interesting way the pills turned on me.  I used to drink on weekends years ago and started having mammoth hangovers so I gave that up. Wasnt worth it. So now it appears that my pill use has come to the same stage.  Just not worth it!

So I went cold turkey on Sept 28th. Told my family and friends, took 2 months off work, cut off my suppliers, signed up for some counseling, and reconnected with a really good friend thats "been there, done that".  

I didnt get any depression but I am suffering from other symptoms such as feeling sinusy alot, aches and pains, and feeling scatter brained.  Hope you understand.  My counselor has assured me that this too will pass.  I sure hope so.

I am not completely out of the woods.  I still think that if I came across a pill I would pop it in my mouth, but I am fighting those demons and feel strong.  I am staying away from any possible pill avenues and wont enter the world again until I am more confident.  For now I am happy with my 3 cats, 1 dog, and an awesome son.  I am paying attention to my needs and concentrating on completing things that just used to stress me out.  House is looking much better too.

I dont post much but I read alot in here. Thank you for every person that posted their story and gave me strength.  Love you all tons!!!

[Kbusymom]

Congrats on your 32 days; quite an accomplishment!!  I'm still waiting for the gift of a full night's sleep.  So glad we are all going through the same things and are here to help each other

[Charetti]

Sleep is wonderful now.  8 hours every night. Sometimes I wake up for a quick pee but thats all.  So relieved I dont need the CPAC machine

[EvolverU]

I agree, what a terrific post! Thank you & Congrats to you on those Big 32 Days. Stick with it & Believe in yourself. It sounds like you're doing & thinking the right things. All Good Things Your Way.

[dominosarah]

What a great post!!!  You have set yourself up for success~

[ouchie1987]

Sounds like your not quite outta the woods with wd. My sleep was HORRID also when I took my percs. I woke up every 2 hrs jus to take 2 pills then pass out again. During the day I was exhausted n loved naps.
How is your sleep now???

[VICourageous]

Very Beautiful and Truthful Post..I am cheering for you all the way..I see that you joined in 2009..So I am sure you know the drill..I wish you peace and serenity toward your recovery..
Bless