Went to Work!!!

[SmartYetStupid]

Well, as some of you may know, I was scared to death of returning to work on Monday the 5th.  Well, I get paid once a month on the last day of the month and I just recently switched to direct deposit.  I thought it would have gone through today.  It did not.  I got up this morning and nearly cried when I realized I would have to go in to the office, facing all those people while going through withdrawals.

Well, I didn't smoke a cigarette this morning.  For some reason, ciggies have made me anxious since I quit pills.  So, to lessen the anxiety, I didn't smoke.  I was dying for a cigarette, but the want for less anxiety far outweighed my cravings for a smoke.  I got to the office, looking like death warmed over, armed with my story of being sick over the entire Christmas break.  It worked because everyone commented on my weight loss (I've lost a LOT of weight).  I went in, got the mail, checked my messages (there were none - I'm switching departments and my phone line has been shut off - THANK GOD!)  I talked to people, laughed, communicated properly, had very little anxiety and made it for a couple of hours at the office.  

I cannot believe it!  I am so psyched about returning to work on Monday.  You can betcha I won't be smoking before or during work, either.  

[road2recovery]

WOW  you go girl!!  you are doing great and need to give yourself a big pat on the back...
hugs
r2r

[SmartYetStupid]

Thank you for the encouragement!  It has taken some of the anxiety that I have had away, although not completely.

I wish to GOD I could get rid of this anxiety!  I cannot STAND it.  I don't know if it's anxiety or cravings or what, but it's driving me INSANE!  

I have been having a couple of drinks at night just to get rid of it, which can't be good.  I've been taking Xanax for it, too and it scares me to death.  I have yet to take a Xanax today... I'm just dealing with it.  I don't need another addiction....

[HelpinUtah]

Congrats!  That's awesome!!!  I'm so glad that was a positive experience for you!!!  

[Jambo62]

well congrats...glad it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be....it usually isn't...keep up the great attitude....and enjoy the new year....

Jambo

[flmagi]

Why to go! Actually it worked out pretty good for you then, just easing in to the office scene again.
Have a great New Year.

[steveo30]

good for you,so it wasen't as hard as you thought it would be,thats great.i know what it feels like to face people when you just dont feel the confidence were used to have.it will only get better, good job.hopefully your check will be accessable tomorrow.good luck