am i being selfish...or normal?

[Britney83]

So A frew weeks ago docs found a tumore in my left breast and that they feel thit has spread into my bloodstreem.  I am only 24 with a 8 month old baby.  My fiance found out and seemed worried.  He's still in medical school and this weekend had the opportunity to go on a business meetting type retreat thing in chicago.  I checked his phone last night and he was talking through texting to a girl from his class about whether he should stay with me or not.  She said that he should and that given that it' could be my last valentines day and my state of mind that he shouild be there.  So last night he asks me , do you want me to stay? I was like  huh? are u adcutally going to ask me that? I"m not gonna say yes becuase i know he wants to go. And i feel like the only reason he asked was that  he knew id say no so that when peoeple ask, "why didn't you stay with her" he can say, "i offered."  Does this make sense?  I dunno..if the roles were reversed and it was him depressed and that sick i wouldn't even give it a second thought...nor would i have asked...he MUST know that i want him here during this....if it was mandatory it would be different...but i talked to his girlfriend and shes' the head of the whole thing and said he can stay if he'd like and they won't hold it against him.  IT's like a class student council type thing i guess you could say, but for medical students and he's part of it.  anyhow, if it were him, i would stay for sure.  he even gave me some of his ambien which as all of you know was freaking about nyquil on the last post i wrote...anyway...i'm depressed...i wasw hoping i'd wake up this morning and see that he had worn his scrubs which would mean he went off to school.. but the scrubs are there, the suite is gone.  he left me a card and some cash...ths valentines day sucks

[sickcookie]

Thank God for cable.Have you checked in to any baby groups?You know when we roll around on floor with our little ones and other young or old moms.It can be a way to meet freinds who also have babys.Every girl needs a buddy not just our signifigant other.Maybe there are resources at the hospital or is there a coffee shop inyour area where you can hang and meet others.Having a baby is an instant conversation opener and sometimes it just is nice to have some conversations that are not serios you have enoug of that going on.In my area on tuesdays is mommy movie day where you can take baby and its okay Just some silly ideas Good Luck Darling

[VicUser]

I hope you know that even though we really don't know each other, the group as a whole, I have found more love, kindness and good conversation, than with any group of friends I have ever had. We'll be thinking of you and hope to talk soon

[Britney83]

thanks....i guess i just need to get over it....i'm sure i'll adjust ...he'll be back on sunday night...but till then i feel like i'm at wits end...i guess i'll just keep posting here and giving advice to those who actually need it...lol....

[dove3053]

Love is thru thick and thin. When someone leaves when times get hard--they don't deserve to be with you when times are good.

Dove

[VicUser]

After 27 years of marriage. I am so gulty of thinking of my feelings for the first 26 of them. I think that this is why so many married people are unhappy. Once if realized how selfish I was I started to work at loving my wife without expecting anything in return. The difference in both our lives was amazing, I am now the center of her life as she is mine.

Let's assume for now that things turn out ok for you health wise, I pray it does. Would you want your Daughter to run off with some stud and shack up or be in a loving commited relationship that would give your 84 grandchildren a stable home? Love in a marriage comes and goes like waves in the ocean. I feel that it is the bond of marriage that helps to keep the two people together during the down times. Without that bond it is too easy to say tootles, it been fun. I stop preaching now, this has been one point of view from one Dad and Husband.

[Britney83]

THank you...., he can be compassionate....i always feel like i'm asking too muh.  ...and maybe i am...he has a right to go..he studies 12 hours a day....and for the record he's not a doctor yet. he's in his 2 year of med school.  ANyway, i would go do something fun but i have the baby and i don't really know anyone here in PA cuz i just moved here a few months ago so it's pretty much me and the baby, oh and the post man comes around around 11 am to drop off mail.....so that's fun i guess...lol....i have hbo, and a bunch of channels and they are ALL blabbing about valentines day....i guess i could go play outside in the snow with my daughter for a bit.  ......any suggestions are welcome