New here, need support

[2addicted2vic]

Hello everyone.  I just signed up today and I have had enough. It all started 15 months ago after having a c-section to deliver my twin boys.  I was prescribed vicodin for pain and I have been taking them heavily since then. I have tried to stop many many times to no avail.  I have tried backing off slowly, but I just don't seem to have the willpower.  I take anywhere from 15 to 20 7.5 vicodins a day.(8-10 at a time)  I have gotten as low as about 8 a day, but when I get any lower than that amount, I start having withdrawal symptoms.  It's horrible.  To stop the withdrawal, I take more and more.  I am afraid that I don't have the strength to stop doing this to myself.  (And not only to myself, but my family who are aware of my problem as well.) It is hard for me to even think about life without it. How can I get a handle on this before it is too late?  I have a lot to loose and I'm afraid these things may cause me to loose everything.  I want to avoid going to rehab, but I'm not so sure at this point I can do it with out going into a detox/rehab facility.  Does anyone have any insight for me?  Please, I'm desperate.  The withdrawal symptoms make me want to die so I can't go cold turkey, but it's hard for me to taper back as well.  

Thanks in advance,
2addicted2vic

[worried878]

lots of support here...tapering only works for most if u hand over the pills....or just go ct....i know it seems scary but what is scary is to continue using...that is real scary...feeling ill for several days is just not that awful....it is in ur mind/most of it/really...the physical part is no fun but i have had flu's that were worse..the part u r afraid of is not what u think it will be....stick with it..make a plan and go for it

[Mandapanda17]

hi there!
I'm going cold turkey on august 24th! I've been taking anywhere from 5-15 10mg norcos for about 3-4 years. You CAN do it. Can you take a week off work? I know it sounds like a miserable thing, and it is, but you really will feel better in the long run. I was able to taper to 5-6 a day. HOPEfully my w/d's won't be as bad, but I'm going to expect the worst! It can be done. I'm a big baby, but I know I have to do this! If you get yourself in the right mindset it can be done! pretend you have the flu for a week. Thats pretty much whats its like anyway...you just can't get much sleep, there are things that can help with sleep too. read the Thomas Recipe and the Amino Acid Protocol on the Health pages. We can help you, you can do this!!! :)

[SammyTheSnail]

It would be wise to have some medical assistance on this ... there are a few things, like a blood pressure med called clonidine, that you will find makes things a little less grotty, but you'll have to have your BP checked daily. If your doc would give you a script for Klonopin or Valium, it will help with sleep.

You'll have to tough it out a bit (generally the 48-72 hour part is a bit ghastly). Your family should be supporting you ... no guilt -- it's an "accidental" addiction

[mimi1313]

Hi,

I know you said you tried to taper but if someone could hold your pills, it would be easier. The slower the taper the better.

If you need to know anything about tapers, please let me know.

Melissa

[rue10]

Welcome!  There are many people here who want to help and give support.  You can do it if you really want to stop this awful addiction.  Take it one hour at a time if you have to.  Post whenever you feel the need.  There's always someone here to help.

Good Luck.

[Brrrrad]

You have made a great first step! There will be many people here that are going to give you some really good advice. They have been through it all. It has been just over 100 days that i have been clean of pain pills. I too never thought i could get free,but if you are really at the end of your rope this forum will be really good for you. I went cold turkey and wanted to get through the physical part as fast as possible but everyone is different.
Keep posting here and these caring people will help you all the way. You CAN do this,this forum is full of people who did it and thought they could`nt.
May Jesus be w/ you   brad

[suggs]

I am by no means any type of expert and know exactly what you are going through.  I too had been taking 10-15 vic's or perc's but mostly vic's a day for about 2 years and just went cold turkey 4 days ago.  Tapering is not an option for me as I am one that if I have them, I take them.  I confessed it all to my husband on Wed., told him I would be miserable for at least 2 days and then MAYBE a little better but that I had to stop before I died and I am already broke fomr it.  Some people wanted to give me sleeping pills and some wanted to give me valium but I chose to take nothing but drink a lot of water (started detox tea yesterday) because I know me.  Today (again day 4) I did take some Ibuprofen because the headache was too much but honestly, the rest of the physical stuff is way better.  Little soreness in the body, ears ringing, tired and thankfully not so much in the bathroom and I can eat a little at a time.  But if you can do NOTHING for at least 3 days, maybe it can help you too.  It is the worst thing I have ever had to do but for me anyway, day one was the worst and every day after gets better.  And trust me, talking to anyone will help you!

Good luck!