Start of Day 2 Off Hydro's

[I_want_out]

Here I am starting day two off hydros. I feel horrible, yet Im off to work. I dont know if I will make it thru the day - but I have to as I cant miss work. Pray for me! This is not good! be back when home from work to check in. Man, no sleep and night sweats last night we horrible, but Im still alive.

[I_want_out]

Nice one C8.

[C8H10N4O2]

I'll be around for a while...  I'm going through my own mess of hell right now.  

What you see up there is many years of organic and bio chemistry in the crazy belief that I'd eventually do something with it.  Instead, I dropped out of college one semester before I completed a degree and became a computer programmer.  It was a fork in the road and I chose this one.  Its been good, but sometimes I have to think back...

BTW - The chemistry is how I got my screen name.... C8H10N4O2 is one of God's greatest creations...  That's the formula for caffeine.

Matt

[I_want_out]

C8's my buddy. Knows alot. Just like the rest of recovering addicts here. I will also help as I head down the get well road. Called paying it forward. Something I will live for now. Thank you all for helping me here. I will start day 3 tomorrow and plan on trying to work again. See how it goes again I guess. Made it 6.5 hours today. One of the hardest days at work in my life, and Im 40.

See you all soon. Thank you from the very depths  of me.

Your friend, and co addict
I_W_O

[worried878]

u know ur stuff..nice person to stay and post..so do stay and post?

[C8H10N4O2]

Loperamide (Imodium) is technically an opioid but the molecule is too large to pass through the blood-brain barrier, so it doesn't hit the brain.  It does bind to every other opioid receptor in the body, which is what causes the slow down in the gut and eventual constipation.

I have read of people using it to help ease withdrawal, but it takes a lot of it to make a difference and can definitely prolong the process.  Like you said, it can also make things a lot worse (e.g. intestinal blockage).  Like corey said...  the diarrhea is cleaning you out.  If you do have to take it, take the recommended dose and call it good.

Matt

[worried878]

imodium for me was a necessity..to work i mean..i did a quick taper ( cheated the whole time but still had the runs) then persisted after i went bak to work...and i took an imodium every morning for a few days //just in case///i do know that some people get constipated with it but when u r pure water (do not mean to be gross)  i dont think that will happen if u dont take 2 at a time 3 times a day etc...twice a day was the most i ever needed

imodium/lomatil/was originally formulated to be a narcotic..went wrong i guess but it still has the constipating effect that narcotics do...//perhaps not in the dose we used for wd//it can actually ease wd a bit...liquid works fastest..but for a short period only for sure..if u abused imodium u would be extremely uncomfortable and this is one thing i would not delve into...but it is true that it can cut into wds a tad..be safe

[corey411]

I wouldn't overuse the Immodium. The diarrhea is your bodies way of getting all of the toxins out. Just use enough to get by. Keep telling yourself, your almost there. You can do this. Kudos to you for making it through work...I couldn't have done that on day 2 and I worked the whole way through my chemo treatments. Even though you can't sleep, try to get some rest. Take deep breaths and try to quiet your mind. God bless, Corey

[I_want_out]

is it bad to take preventive measures using Imodium, like so you don't go at all during 1st few days? or not?

[I_want_out]

Actually got home at 1230 today PST. I went in at 430am tho. Im still miserable, but hopeful cause of people like you.

[worried878]

glad to see u r still hangin tight..u r lucky u can post at work...i can not...dont really feel the need anymore..but there was a time when it sure woulda helped..doing sumpin like makin it thru the day feeling like a truck ran over u is very self inspiring co if u can do that then u can do just bout anything!  congrats on a day at work and making it thru..cant say i did that tho as i took off work for a long weekend..keep moving forward

[I_want_out]

Someone in here told me about attitude. I really thought about that a lot and over several hours and it made sense to me. I have to TRY and be a bigger animal than this drug. I am honestly struggling every minute, but I remind myself of the a** kicking this addiction needs, and a little attitude has got me to this point - Day 2. I have all the wonderful w/d's hittting me very hard today. I know my dealer is going to be calling me any day and I am hopeful I dont answer the phone or that my friends here, and the lord above give me the strength to just say NO. I dont wanna die, I wanna smell things again and today I noticed i smelled some smells i have not in a very long time. Now dont get me wrong some of those smells make me down right irritable. I'm hopeful and hoping this mindset will carry me thru the physical part of recovery. I will pray for you, and myself too. Hang in there, quit! and post here often. I'm giving it everything Ive got

[mie1971]

i am wanting to stop as well. so many things going through my mind. i give you so much credit for going to work because honestly, i don't think that i could do it. keep hanging in there.

[I_want_out]

Wow, did I need those posts from all of you. Knowing that I have folks on MY side is so important. As stated before, this is just one BIG ole secret that will not get out for a long time, at least until I'm over all the phys parts. Me finding this site, I will account later to saving my life! It so amazing to me that so many thousands are hooked on these little animals. I have low postasium now, and after reading what this does to your system astonishes me Im still alive, really. Stopped peeing so much, no #'s and so on, so wow. I actually went back to work cause I got home and felt like I want to crawl out of my skin. Yet walking all day (job) was killing me, I think. The mental part is already there. I'm 40yom and tears running down my face out of no where! I have enough Imodium to put toilet paper companies out of freakin business, if you follow me. I just got home aboiut 1230p PST. I still feel tired, my knees ache, my brain is scrambles eggs. I had several co workers ask me today if I was ok, i LIED again...and said I wasn't just feeling well. Seems to work anyway. I am so hopeful I can do this. The support, man, couldn't imagine doing this with just me - alone. I wonder how many lives this site has really saved cause of people like you, and eventually me too. Hopefully by documenting - later addicts can learn what to expect, and how to's. I am going to take a hot shower - and drink a protein shake(not that kind either, good grief) will that help? it's like a weigh gainer cause I am a skinny person anyway and not eating right is not good, not for me. I will try anything. I may be inclined to eat the ars out of a dead rhino if I though I could right now. Anyway, music, shower.....back here - THANK YOU ALL - IM HANGING IN THERE SO FAR

[Kevin_Bacon]

... and soup. Lotsa soup. Yummy. No chewing involved.

[Kevin_Bacon]

Have you got a blender? Great investment, especially right now ... throw in bananas, pineapples, berries, tofu, soy (milk if you can handle it, but it could make the runs worse -- harder to digest than soy milk), powdered protein (really helpful), and, again if you can handle it, a fresh egg or two (I just put a couple in a glass, cover them with soy/milk, and down the hatch). I pretty well drink all my food at this point. Plenty of real fruit juice, benzos to sleep/nap/calm down, or melatonin sublingual before lights out.

If you can rent mindless comedies, play Pogo Euchre, or chess or poker, it helps pass the time ... walk around the block a few times (quite a feat, under the circumstances, but very helpful. Quite a few of us are cherring you on from the cheap seats, so keep posting. We're rootin' for ya!

[guv338]

Absolutely, what ever it takes at this point.God be with You.

[I_want_out]

music, music seems to help ....... a tad....and for a moment I guess. heck, Ill take what I can get min to min, right?

[dominosarah]

Keep holding on......you can do this.  I know you feel rotten but it is all part of the process of getting clean.  In a couple days you will start to feel better.  Keep eating bananas and drink plenty of fluids......keep posting          sara

[I_want_out]

Ya been here nearly 4 hrs and so struggeling with runs and weakness. Feel like crud more as day goes on. May leave early tho, atleast worked part of day, right? My legs and back are miserable.

Can't have anyone hold for me, I have proved no will power in past so going to zero is best, feeling this bad or not...trust me would love to take one to feel better, but for me that turns in to dozens and empty wallet. Man this is so very hard to do. I feel so. Bad, but badly want out too. Thanks for talking to me, it has helped in ways unimaginable. Be back few hrs

[eminem32169]

I'm right there with you as i just posted something on here "DAY 3" for me, but I gave my gf mine and for the withdrawals she did give me one this morning and im letting her control that, but you have to let that be the only way you get them, at least for me it works... I did take the day off work though simply because i have no energy "NONE" hot cold hot cold hot cold pepto yeah, right there with you. I'm emotional as hell, dude and I'm not an emotional person at all. my legs are restless and I can't get comfortable... I did go over two days without any but it's really not good for your body, been on them for about 3 years or so and recently I was taking over 20 5mg / or 15-20 7.5 mg percs or vics whatever i could get my hands on, I didn't care I was thinking heroins next, but thats my one moral lol crazy huh, well and smoking crack "don't want to do that either.... I dont know what way would be best for you but if you have someone there for you and if you have the mindset to let them and ONLY them give you one just to help, I feel so much better right now than i did all night not being able to sleep.... But just be strong as I'm right here with you in the same position, and im not a religious person really what so ever but I've prayed to GOD to help me right now... I'm doing whatever I can to not pick up that phone to get more.. I know you and I can both do it, and if you need someone to talk to message me back I'm a newby here but I'm going to book mark the page.... I wish you the best of luck and think about all the money and stuff we'll save and have after all of this is over

[I_want_out]

I sure will, here at work since 430 so - made it here. Took immodium but justr ran out, yikes! Saved page on blackberry so I have easy access to this site, which I deperately need. Feel very foggy and confused. Just feel weird period. I took multi vitamin and ate bananna on way here hopefully it all stays cause have zero appitite! Be back when I get home to check in. Know its still early but day is so already draggin :/

[worried878]

we will be pulling for u...working on the secod day..lots of courage but u know u probably will not feel as bad as if u stayed hoime..the time will go by faster..and u will be proud u made it when u get home..post and let us know how u do today