healing

[clicked]

Hi this is very hard to do. I am sick as a dog and can't stand it anymore. I have been taking lortab for a year. I am day 3 of this torment.  Been trying the home remedies but nothing makes me feel ok. Was so dehydrated I went to the ER last night and got some fluids put in me. Oh yeah and some demerol and toradol for the migraine I had developed. I felt good for about 2 hours then the drugs wore off. I tried to eat but it just stuck in my mouth very hard to swallow food. Gator aid goes down better.
I have scripts but too soon to fill them. Guess whos fault that is. Mine of course. I have fibromyalgia. it hurts so bad but honestly not as much as this withdrawal does. this is so sick . I take lortab 10 twice a day except when I am really bad then I take 3 in 24 hour period. I thought I was safe because  I dont take handfulls of pills.
My question is when does it stop.

[littlebit667]

most people say and I agree that it takes anywhere from 3-5 days for the acute part of withdrawal to subside.  The best thing you can do is STAY hydrated...boost, ensure, gatorade...water.  Dehydration makes the withdrawals worse.  If you are having bathroom issues..try Imodium..it works and helps with the dehydration issue as well. If you cant sleep at least try to rest.  Soaking in a warm tub of water helps some.  Epsom salts has magnesium in it and using it in the tub when you soak seems to help some as well.  Worth a try.  

You can become dependent on the pills no  matter the amount.  Everyone is different about how their brain and bodies handle the opiates.  You stay on them long enough you can become addicted.  You may need to talk to your doctor about other pain management options.  Opiates have a tendency to start to take over your life and brain.  You are at a lower amount than most, but still a concern since you are running out before your refill date.  Good luck and glad you are here.  Keep posting as you move thru this and let us help you with any support we can give.

[clicked]

Thanks for the encouragement I am grateful for the comments. I have been taking very warm showers they seem to settle my jitters for a while. I am a nurse myself I think I thought I was immune from the addicting forces of this drug.But I am not. I stupidly followed my doctors advice now look where I am. I know I am responsible for my own addiction. But they hand out drugs instead of real help.  I know I am not the first nurse to be addicted but I am very ashamed self.

[Teresa1717]

Hi clicked and welcome! I just wanted to send you some encouragement your way and let you know that your not alone! There are alot of nurses and medical professionals on this forum that have been or are going through what you are going through. I myself am a Paramedic (was but thats another long addiction story haha) and felt the exact same way you did! Immense shame and guilt!  Addiction, and these drugs( just like Cancer) do not discriminate! Addiction will ruin families, careers, and lives without predjudice if you let it.

The withdrawls are no fun and its easy for our brain to tell us that just one pill will fix it. But dont listen to it. Youre on Day 3 and the worst of it is almost over! A couple of more days and things start looking better. They really do! Littlebit had alot of great advice on how to help with those symptoms.

Dont beat yourself up! Were here for you if you need anything. Post and let us know how your doing!

[clicked]

thanks Teresa
I am so sick right now. I just want to crawl inside out. My husband is not being very supportive right now he just wants me to get better so I can go back to work . He is not working so I am our only income. I am going crazy or I have gone. I can't fix this!!!

[HappyDays2Come]

Hi clicked just take care of yourself and don't worry about anyone or anything else right now (unless you have kids: make sure they eat;). You're doing great by pushing through and I hope that you'll decide to not fill those scripts when they are ready. I know that you're in pain but from what I've heard the pain is worse when abusing pills and many have found ways to manage severe pain without the pills. I hope you keep posting and don't worry you'll start to feel better really soon!

[Teresa1717]

Wow, Im sorry hes not being as supportive as you need right now but Happy is right. you have to focus you YOU right now and for YOU to get well. Its easy for people on the outside to look in at us addicts and not understand what we are going through. Im sure he wants to be supportive, just maybe doesnt know how? Al-Anon works wonders for people from what I understand. Maybe he might be interested in readong up on it?

So Day 3 is hard, and you may have 1 or 2 more days that arent great but after about 5 days thinks start turning a little bit for you. I know your sick right now but trying to get up and move, even if for only 10 minutes at a time does wonders! The worst thing you can do is lay there and letting yourself focus on how sick you feel.

You can do this, You can push through it! We are here to support you in anyway we can so post often if you need to. Your almost over the hump honey, Promise.

[clicked]

Thanks all I really need the support right now. All I can think about is that tomorrow I can get my pills. I am in pure hell right now.

[Norco1947]

Hi Clicked ,  Been at day 3 myself not so long ago . Day 3 is almost the end of the hard part  , Fight it out PILL FREE  for another day or 2 and you will beat this , Lot's of others have , you can to . You just have to want it bad . By day 5-7 you will start to feel much better .
You will do this fight for yourself your worth it .
I lived on Ensure first few days , really good for you &  drank the milk choc. Ensure ice cold , Made my tummy feel better .
My Day #40 it really does get better soon stay strong  Ron  

[clicked]

Thanks so much Norco1947! I am so scared an ashamed of myself. I cant believe I am here in this situation in my life. People look up to me and if they knew I could loose everything. My husband has been where I am and he keeps a distance I think to protect himself. I am going to keep trying to make it. Lord Help me please!

[YesLife4Me]

Hi and welcome!  You are not alone (although it feels like it right now).  No judgement here...we have all been or are in your shoes.  Many of us started out innocently like you.  If it helps, try to think about how awful you feel right now and that you don't ever want to go through this again when you think about how salvation lies in that scrip.  

[clicked]

Ok I ate some chocolate chip ice cream and my stomach feels a little better. These crying jags are rediculous. OMG! I have been feeling so sorry for myself! About time for a hot shower I bet, maybe I could calm these jitters down. Wow it is helping me to tell all of you my troubles.Thanks for listening and giving me the feedback.

[YesLife4Me]

That's great!  If you can focus instead on how what you are going through is a positive thing instead of how awful you feel, it does help.  I know when I have run out and didn't want to be, I was les' miserable vs when I chose to not take anything.  

[Norco1947]

Hi Clicked ,
The Lord helps those who help them self .
Scared is called panic , it's your brain learning to work without drugs , we all go thru it , it does end .
Now about the ashamed stuff , We are just human , We Scr*w up .
Start takeing Pride in your fight , Your choseing not to take pills ,to go thru pain for a few days to end months or years of the addicted no life .
Us husbands are dumb , we do stand back when we can't fix something ourselfs or don't know how . Trust me i have been a husband for 44 years next month .
Next month he gets a NEW you . He will let you know he likes this NEW you better much better . Who wouldn't ??
Stay positive you will get thru this ....  Ron  

[Norco1947]

Hi Clicked ,  I went to see Nemo # 2  on my day 9 with my grandkids ,
When Nemo's mother died i had to leave for 15 min;s . Here i was with all these kids and i am the only one crying .... The emotions take 2-3 weeks to recover but they do ....Ron  

[clicked]

Just got out of a hot bath feeling a little better. I can almost remember what I used to feel like before I started taking the drugs. I have to get myself together so I can go to work on Thur night.  I called in sick last 3 nights. I had the flu. At least that is what I am calling it. Man I had H1n1 and didn't feel this bad. I am so shakey. I asked my husband if I needed to go to rehab or NA or something. He said he didn't know.  I also need to figure out how to handle the pain that got me where I am. I am a nurse I am supposed to take care of people. Seems I spent alot of time taking care of others and kinda skip me. That is why it was so easy just to take a pill and numb everything.

[Pat1956100]

Hi clicked
I am on day 3 as well and was also recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
I am gone through cold turkey before and day 3 is usually the roughest.  I think that you will start feeling better soon.  It seems to come in hard waves on day 3 but then it eases off and the waves come less and less and then stop.
The depression is horrible but that will go away too.  Once you start to feel better and get back into the world your spirits will lift.
I really feel for you.  This is not fun.

[clicked]

Thanks Pat.  I am feeling somewhat better right this minute. Just some gastric problems, jittery and kinda nervous feeling. I think that is the worst I hate this shakeyness. Not sure that is a word. I am proud I have made it this far. I am trying to figure out how to keep myself from gooing to get the scripts I have filled. I am sorry you are in the same shape.  How are you holding up?

[vicki595]

You can cancel those rx's first thing in the morning, by phone. If you don't and they sit there...you know what will happen and so do we...

Are you planning to attend any kind of support group for recovery care? See a counselor?

[Pat1956100]

It's true if you don't cancel the scripts you will just have to go through this over and over again like I did.  Each time gets rougher too.
I just had someone come to my door and ask me if I wanted any percs and I said No.  I still can't believe I said No.  I felt so shaky and upset after.  I kept thinking I should run after him and get some but I knew I would just be back here in another week or month trying again.  It's a vicious cycle and you just get deeper and deeper into this black hole of addiction.
It's just not fun anymore.  
Maybe try something natural for anxiety and to help with sleep.
I have found melatonin really helpful.
Let us know what you do with the scripts.\
Hugs
Pat

[Teresa1717]

They are right! If you dont cancel your scripts, your will power isnt strong enough. I had to cancel one and it was the hardest thing I did!! I wanted to cry and when I hung up I stopped myself from calling right back but I am SO happy I did! I undoubtebly would have relapsed in the first few days if I hadnt!

Like Vicki asked, about the support groups or therapy, You should really do them (one, or all)  They have helped me A LOT!

You should be on Day 4 right? Its going to start getting easier very soon. Your almost turning the corner. You dont want to live through these 3 days like you have to only throw them away now do you?

You can do this...Keep posting

[clicked]

  I know I am not strong enough. I am feeling really bad again.  I don't think I have what it takes to cancel the scripts.

[Teresa1717]

Is there anyone else that you can have do it?? Your husband? A friend? Trust me honey, IMO if your not strong enough to cancel an rx, then there is no way your going to not be able to get them filled and take them! Somehow, Someway, you need to cancel that rx!

[littlebit667]

There are several here that are in the medical profession in one way or another and they are just like the rest of us.  Doctors don't always have all of the answers.  My doc thought she was helping me with my severe back pain and for awhile she was.  But, at the end I told her what was going on and she helped me get back on my feet.  

Telling her was the HARDEST thing I have ever done.  But, by doing so I cut off my drug source.  

Keep coming here to garner support and strength.  I promise it helps...it sure helped me!  

[Pat1956100]

If you don't have the strength to cancel it. don't pick it up yet.  Let yourself feel better first.  You are almost out of the woods.  If you pick it up and take them you will have to go through this all over again when you run out the next time.  You will just become more and more emotionally drained each time you have to go through this hell.
This is about my 5th time doing this so I know how hard it gets.  Think long and hard before you get that script.
Hugs
Pat