Aa
i slipped over thanksgiving
Hey guys, took me this long to admit it, but I ended up taking half of a 7.5 Vicodin the day after Thanksgiving. I guess I knew a relapse was coming. I had three weeks clean. I was craving the energy and motivation I was lacking. It was stupid. I made it the whole day at my mom's during which I manipulated her and knew I had her know my pocket for getting one. I didn't and I was almost home free as I was getting ready to leave. Then I panicked. I asked for half and said I'd return it the next day if I didn't take it. What a joke. I thought about it my whole hour long drive to my sister in laws. Then i get there exausted and they are like hurry get ready we are going to the casino, as they were all doing shots of tequila. My choice was to listen ti my nephews fight as i babysat or go with and put our kids in the daycare.
Anyways i took it. I instantly felt horribly guilty and stupid. It kicked in during my shower, when i got out and was ready i went out for a smoke, and here my sister in law says how proud she is of me for quitting. I felt horrible! On the long drive to the casino i fought back puking, became very irritable and uptight. As soon as we got there i rushed to puke. I kno my body was rejecting it, as was the baby. It DID NOT GIVE ME ENERGY. IT DID NOT MOTIVATE ME. IT WAS HORRIBLE. I SPENT ALL NIGHT WANTING THE FEELUNG TO GO AWAY. I no longer crave the evil pills, tho I still have to be on guard... they are sneaky like snakes and will slither in when you least expect it.
Please learn from my mistake. I sure hope I do. I'm staying strong and have had only that half in like 26 days.
Anyways i took it. I instantly felt horribly guilty and stupid. It kicked in during my shower, when i got out and was ready i went out for a smoke, and here my sister in law says how proud she is of me for quitting. I felt horrible! On the long drive to the casino i fought back puking, became very irritable and uptight. As soon as we got there i rushed to puke. I kno my body was rejecting it, as was the baby. It DID NOT GIVE ME ENERGY. IT DID NOT MOTIVATE ME. IT WAS HORRIBLE. I SPENT ALL NIGHT WANTING THE FEELUNG TO GO AWAY. I no longer crave the evil pills, tho I still have to be on guard... they are sneaky like snakes and will slither in when you least expect it.
Please learn from my mistake. I sure hope I do. I'm staying strong and have had only that half in like 26 days.
Hey girl...what a rough Thanksgiving. I'm so sorry you had a slip-up but it happens and you're getting back on track now...you should be so proud. I always tell people that regret makes us weak, but we can turn it into determination to do better. Are you more determined now that you know the price of failure? I bet!
So let it roll off your shoulder, but keep it in the back of your mind so it doesn't happen again ;-).
Have you been able to cut back at all on the cigarettes? We have a lot of moms who struggle with cigarette addiction during pregnancy, and it's nothing to be trifled with. I do agree that you need to tackle one addiction at a time, and no one can expect a miracle (both smoking and opiates quit at once). I don't think anyone here was beating you up, but smoking during pregnancy can cause a whole host of problems (more than opiates, actually) so I think that's why people are so concerned.
with that said! if you can cut back but can't quit, then that's the best you can do. Do what you can, and remember that the fewer cigarettes smoked, the better for the placenta and the baby. If you can't quit, then you can't, and you're not a horrible mom by any stretch of the imagination. Plenty of our moms who have smoked during pregnancy have gone on to have healthy babies with no problems - but it's also gone the other way. Smoking is one of those silent dangers. it's legal, so people don't realize just how harmful it can be. But like drinking during pregnancy, it's one of those "fine lines"....some can be fine, too much can be devastating.
Anyway...that's just my two cents on it. If you can't quit, then you can't...and you're still a great mom and baby has a good chance of being fine. If you can cut back, though, I would highly recommend getting to the lowest dose you can tolerate. I understand that with the stress of what happened over thanksgiving, and with the holidays coming up, this is probably NOT going to be a time you can cut back, lol. my husband smokes and I know that this is a high-stress time of the year for him, so he tends to smoke more. But after the new year, see if you can cut back a cigarette or two a week? even that small amount can make a huge difference.
Kendra everyone here cares about you and wants the best, please remember that. We're all so proud of how far you've come, and how much you've sacrificed, so don't thing that the fact that you smoke makes us any less proud or devoted to your well-being...we just wouldn't be good friends if we didn't rib you about it a little bit, because obviously it's not a healthy habit.
hang in there girl and be SO PROUD that you had such a SMALL slip-up..it could've been so much worse, but you stuck it out and got back on track. That should be worth it's weight in gold to your self-worth!
So let it roll off your shoulder, but keep it in the back of your mind so it doesn't happen again ;-).
Have you been able to cut back at all on the cigarettes? We have a lot of moms who struggle with cigarette addiction during pregnancy, and it's nothing to be trifled with. I do agree that you need to tackle one addiction at a time, and no one can expect a miracle (both smoking and opiates quit at once). I don't think anyone here was beating you up, but smoking during pregnancy can cause a whole host of problems (more than opiates, actually) so I think that's why people are so concerned.
with that said! if you can cut back but can't quit, then that's the best you can do. Do what you can, and remember that the fewer cigarettes smoked, the better for the placenta and the baby. If you can't quit, then you can't, and you're not a horrible mom by any stretch of the imagination. Plenty of our moms who have smoked during pregnancy have gone on to have healthy babies with no problems - but it's also gone the other way. Smoking is one of those silent dangers. it's legal, so people don't realize just how harmful it can be. But like drinking during pregnancy, it's one of those "fine lines"....some can be fine, too much can be devastating.
Anyway...that's just my two cents on it. If you can't quit, then you can't...and you're still a great mom and baby has a good chance of being fine. If you can cut back, though, I would highly recommend getting to the lowest dose you can tolerate. I understand that with the stress of what happened over thanksgiving, and with the holidays coming up, this is probably NOT going to be a time you can cut back, lol. my husband smokes and I know that this is a high-stress time of the year for him, so he tends to smoke more. But after the new year, see if you can cut back a cigarette or two a week? even that small amount can make a huge difference.
Kendra everyone here cares about you and wants the best, please remember that. We're all so proud of how far you've come, and how much you've sacrificed, so don't thing that the fact that you smoke makes us any less proud or devoted to your well-being...we just wouldn't be good friends if we didn't rib you about it a little bit, because obviously it's not a healthy habit.
hang in there girl and be SO PROUD that you had such a SMALL slip-up..it could've been so much worse, but you stuck it out and got back on track. That should be worth it's weight in gold to your self-worth!
Thank you, kendradawn for putting it like that. That is how I meant it, but have a hard time putting into words what's in my head :p thank you, you are an angel sent from heaven:)
Ricart thank you for that, i wont stop posting because of you and the others i have mentioned have been so wonderful to me... id miss yall! Also, there are more that i csn help, and thst has always been the best part of soberiety.
Ricart thank you for that, i wont stop posting because of you and the others i have mentioned have been so wonderful to me... id miss yall! Also, there are more that i csn help, and thst has always been the best part of soberiety.
I know everyone was just showing concern and I agree about everyone's individual opinions and all. I was just trying to shed some light on why she got upset. There are so many wonderful people here and it is a great support system!
I'm pretty sure it was just concern for her unborn child from everyone who responded - no judgment and the posts indicated as much. Just concern and individual opinions. That's what makes this place so great, I think. Everyone has a voice and we're all learning from each other.
Also, just to add..we have both been very scared for the well-being of our unborn babies because we both quit taking pain pills when we found out we were expecting, and we know how much stress it puts on our bodies and therefore the babies. Worrying about them being okay while we went through the withdrawal was stressful by itself..so although we both know we need to quit smoking, we didn't want to put more stress on our bodies than what it was already going through. It's very dangerous to quit all that at the same time and could possibly make you miscarry. It's all scary for us. We are trying so hard to do the right thing, we just thought one thing at a time was best. Does that make any sense?
Hi Kendra,relapse is easy I have done it plenty of times.There is a real danger zone around 20 to 30 or so days.Your barin is starting to work better and your body is getting back to normal but there is still alot of anxiety and this is a recipe for relapse for sure.Just keep going and thinking about how to react to this before it happens.Sometimes you just have to lock yourself away in your room and don't come out until the craving/thoughts pass.They always do.Hang in there and btw...don't stop posting ok
I do not believe Kendra was saying she thought it was ok to smoke while pregnant, and I'm pretty sure she is well aware of all the above dangers you mentioned of smoking while pregnant. All she said was that she felt it best to take on one addiction at a time. She has tackled the pills and She is waiting for her body to recover before she goes on to tackle the smoking. She clearly said She was working wother her doctor and also that She has cut back. She feels bad enough about smoking, knows all the dangers and probably makes her feel worse for everuined to be telling her how bad it is and how it's wrong..etc. She knows that, trust me. I think she just felt like everyone hanged up on her. I know all of this because I'm in the same boat.
Post mentioned above titled holiday triggers posted a week before Thanksgiving, no posts. Just sayin.
Every puff you take increases the carbon monoxide poison in your bloodstream, so when you smoke:
less oxygen and nourishment get to your baby
your baby's heart beats too fast (so does yours)
your baby's chest muscles don't have enough oxygen to exercise properly, to get ready for breathing after birth.
You are more likely to lose your unborn baby (miscarry) if you smoke during pregnancy.
A smoker's baby is more likely to:
be stressed during labour, leading to a complicated birth
have a low birth weight, making health problems more likely
die at, or shortly after, birth
die of cot death, or SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome)
have coughs, colds and other breathing problems
get ear infections
develop asthma.
Smoking is often much riskier and harmful to the unborn baby than opiate addiction. No judgement, I just worried that your choices may have been predicated on poor information. From the information Ive gathered, the general consensus suggests that the risks of abrupt cessation are far outweighed by the known benefits. Anyways, like I said, no judgement. I just wanted to make sure you had made an informed decision.
All the best. Regards Jeremy. Recovered addict.
4 years 2 months drug and alcohol free .
http://www.everybody.co.nz/page-9ed182c5-be8d-4661-adb3-d92ea256efe7.aspx
http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-smoking-during-pregnancy-affects-you-and-your-baby_1405720.bc
http://www.pregnancy-info.net/smoking_during_pregnancy.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoking_and_pregnancy
Ashelen see you on the baby forum!!!
just to clarify, it IS recommended to quit smoking while pregnant, but not with quitting pain meds too, as well as NA saying nit to when you quit a drug, right away. I am working with my doctor on this, as always. :)
just to clarify, it IS recommended to quit smoking while pregnant, but not with quitting pain meds too, as well as NA saying nit to when you quit a drug, right away. I am working with my doctor on this, as always. :)
Okay well you don't have to hit me over the head. Good luck to you kendra and I do mean that. For you and your baby I'm sorry that what I said upset you and I definitely meant no harm (if you read any of my posts here I think you would know that about me - I never mean harm to anyone). I wish you well. :)
Ann, ricart, paleflower, littlebit, kendradawn, and anyone I've missed, thank you all. It was because of you that I was able to get clean. Your support was amazing, non judgments, and y'all are so sweet. I wish you all the best of luck, I will stay strong and in 6 months when I see this child's beautiful face, I will thank you again. Feel free to message me, I will be back, just nit to post. God Bless, Kendra W.
Yeah kendra this isn't meant to be a judgment - it's only concern. I think you know that right?? It's just hard for me to understand how pain meds are worse for your child than smoking, that's all I was saying.
vicki - maybe ashelen can offer some insight on this?
vicki - maybe ashelen can offer some insight on this?
I couldn't find a post about you being worried about Thanksgiving...I'm sorry no one replied to you. I DID see your "update" post about the doctor visit and how well the baby is doing and how much that news was going to help you stay sober...that was on the 22nd. What happened between then and Thanksgiving on the 24th?
I am posting only to help others, my trust for this forum helping is broken, but I'm still here to help others. We need to support those newly clean not just the ones going through wd. .
I'm not sure how helpful you can be when you've lost trust yourself...I guess only you know. Everyone on the forum needs support; not just the "newly clean".
Yes it is recommended to quit smoking when pregnant. Come on...you know that. And no one is judging you here. Smoking is just not good for the baby and that's all she was saying...
I'm not sure how helpful you can be when you've lost trust yourself...I guess only you know. Everyone on the forum needs support; not just the "newly clean".
Yes it is recommended to quit smoking when pregnant. Come on...you know that. And no one is judging you here. Smoking is just not good for the baby and that's all she was saying...
Yes, I smoke ciggaretts, and im pregnant. Quitting my pain meds was hard enough on my baby, as is my pain. It is NOT recommended to quit smoking too. Cut down? Yes. Seriously I'm judged because I smoke? Relapses happen but don't smoke????** side note*** I tried to quit with my daughter, you know, do the right thing. I almost list her, cramping bleeding hospital you moderating there is nothing we can do, so I smoked, and the cramping and bleeding stopped, and I have a HEALTHY girl, unless you want to blame her being lactose intolerant on smoking, but thats from her dad. Coincedence? I dont know but im not going to chsnce it with this baby. My neice... extreame asthma and allergies, but her mom didn't smoke. SMH
That's great that you learned from the relapse (they happen to all of us). But I think I'm more concerned that you're smoking?? Don't mean to be a hard-*** - just concerned.
I was worried about Thanksgiving, I posted and got no reply. Like I said I knew it was coming, relapse has signs beforehand. It was my fault, and I learned from it. I do this with all my addictions I have quit. Quit for a bit, do it one more time and mindf**k myself so I hate it, then I don't crave. The mind is a powerful thing.
I am posting only to help others, my trust for this forum helping is broken, but I'm still here to help others. We need to support those newly clean not just the ones going through wd.
I am posting only to help others, my trust for this forum helping is broken, but I'm still here to help others. We need to support those newly clean not just the ones going through wd.
COMMUNITY LEADER
You let your guard down and this is what happens. Hard lesson to learn. Cravings come out of the blue and you have to know how to handle them and that is why we preach aftercare. You are back on track now and that is what is important........sara
Sometimes a relapse is just programmed to happen and there are many reasons...
You need to stay so on top of this because of the baby; you know that. The smoking isn't good either...
Are you getting some support? AA? Something? We talk about recovery care so much here because we know how much it helps! I think if you had just talked to someone about this BEFORE you took that pill the outcome would have been much different.
I'm betting you won't do that again! It's a pretty bad feeling when we relapse. I did just once and it was enough for me!
You need to stay so on top of this because of the baby; you know that. The smoking isn't good either...
Are you getting some support? AA? Something? We talk about recovery care so much here because we know how much it helps! I think if you had just talked to someone about this BEFORE you took that pill the outcome would have been much different.
I'm betting you won't do that again! It's a pretty bad feeling when we relapse. I did just once and it was enough for me!
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