I done the same thing! I didn't post for a few days for feeling guilty. I had a 7.5 and halfed it twice during the day. I also took one more a week later. I was longing for that "upper" feeling. I felt horrible for taking it. There was no high, just guilt and I was ashamed. **it happens, and we can't do anything about the past, but we can move forward. That little bit of pill is nothing compared to where you have come from. Don't let it get to you. We have triggers...this is no reason to go backwards. Funny, I also fell victim over the holidays. Keep on pushing forward!
Sometimes a relapse is just programmed to happen and there are many reasons...
You need to stay so on top of this because of the baby; you know that. The smoking isn't good either...
Are you getting some support? AA? Something? We talk about recovery care so much here because we know how much it helps! I think if you had just talked to someone about this BEFORE you took that pill the outcome would have been much different.
I'm betting you won't do that again! It's a pretty bad feeling when we relapse. I did just once and it was enough for me!
You let your guard down and this is what happens. Hard lesson to learn. Cravings come out of the blue and you have to know how to handle them and that is why we preach aftercare. You are back on track now and that is what is important........sara
I was worried about Thanksgiving, I posted and got no reply. Like I said I knew it was coming, relapse has signs beforehand. It was my fault, and I learned from it. I do this with all my addictions I have quit. Quit for a bit, do it one more time and mindf**k myself so I hate it, then I don't crave. The mind is a powerful thing.
I am posting only to help others, my trust for this forum helping is broken, but I'm still here to help others. We need to support those newly clean not just the ones going through wd.
That's great that you learned from the relapse (they happen to all of us). But I think I'm more concerned that you're smoking?? Don't mean to be a hard-*** - just concerned.
Yes, I smoke ciggaretts, and im pregnant. Quitting my pain meds was hard enough on my baby, as is my pain. It is NOT recommended to quit smoking too. Cut down? Yes. Seriously I'm judged because I smoke? Relapses happen but don't smoke????** side note*** I tried to quit with my daughter, you know, do the right thing. I almost list her, cramping bleeding hospital you moderating there is nothing we can do, so I smoked, and the cramping and bleeding stopped, and I have a HEALTHY girl, unless you want to blame her being lactose intolerant on smoking, but thats from her dad. Coincedence? I dont know but im not going to chsnce it with this baby. My neice... extreame asthma and allergies, but her mom didn't smoke. SMH
I am posting only to help others, my trust for this forum helping is broken, but I'm still here to help others. We need to support those newly clean not just the ones going through wd. .
I'm not sure how helpful you can be when you've lost trust yourself...I guess only you know. Everyone on the forum needs support; not just the "newly clean".
Yes it is recommended to quit smoking when pregnant. Come on...you know that. And no one is judging you here. Smoking is just not good for the baby and that's all she was saying...
I couldn't find a post about you being worried about Thanksgiving...I'm sorry no one replied to you. I DID see your "update" post about the doctor visit and how well the baby is doing and how much that news was going to help you stay sober...that was on the 22nd. What happened between then and Thanksgiving on the 24th?
Yeah kendra this isn't meant to be a judgment - it's only concern. I think you know that right?? It's just hard for me to understand how pain meds are worse for your child than smoking, that's all I was saying.
vicki - maybe ashelen can offer some insight on this?
Ann, ricart, paleflower, littlebit, kendradawn, and anyone I've missed, thank you all. It was because of you that I was able to get clean. Your support was amazing, non judgments, and y'all are so sweet. I wish you all the best of luck, I will stay strong and in 6 months when I see this child's beautiful face, I will thank you again. Feel free to message me, I will be back, just nit to post. God Bless, Kendra W.
Okay well you don't have to hit me over the head. Good luck to you kendra and I do mean that. For you and your baby I'm sorry that what I said upset you and I definitely meant no harm (if you read any of my posts here I think you would know that about me - I never mean harm to anyone). I wish you well. :)
Ashelen see you on the baby forum!!!
just to clarify, it IS recommended to quit smoking while pregnant, but not with quitting pain meds too, as well as NA saying nit to when you quit a drug, right away. I am working with my doctor on this, as always. :)
Every puff you take increases the carbon monoxide poison in your bloodstream, so when you smoke:
less oxygen and nourishment get to your baby
your baby's heart beats too fast (so does yours)
your baby's chest muscles don't have enough oxygen to exercise properly, to get ready for breathing after birth.
You are more likely to lose your unborn baby (miscarry) if you smoke during pregnancy.
A smoker's baby is more likely to:
be stressed during labour, leading to a complicated birth
have a low birth weight, making health problems more likely
die at, or shortly after, birth
die of cot death, or SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome)
have coughs, colds and other breathing problems
get ear infections
develop asthma.
Smoking is often much riskier and harmful to the unborn baby than opiate addiction. No judgement, I just worried that your choices may have been predicated on poor information. From the information Ive gathered, the general consensus suggests that the risks of abrupt cessation are far outweighed by the known benefits. Anyways, like I said, no judgement. I just wanted to make sure you had made an informed decision.
All the best. Regards Jeremy. Recovered addict.
4 years 2 months drug and alcohol free .
http://www.everybody.co.nz/page-9ed182c5-be8d-4661-adb3-d92ea256efe7.aspx
http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-smoking-during-pregnancy-affects-you-and-your-baby_1405720.bc
http://www.pregnancy-info.net/smoking_during_pregnancy.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoking_and_pregnancy
Post mentioned above titled holiday triggers posted a week before Thanksgiving, no posts. Just sayin.
I do not believe Kendra was saying she thought it was ok to smoke while pregnant, and I'm pretty sure she is well aware of all the above dangers you mentioned of smoking while pregnant. All she said was that she felt it best to take on one addiction at a time. She has tackled the pills and She is waiting for her body to recover before she goes on to tackle the smoking. She clearly said She was working wother her doctor and also that She has cut back. She feels bad enough about smoking, knows all the dangers and probably makes her feel worse for everuined to be telling her how bad it is and how it's wrong..etc. She knows that, trust me. I think she just felt like everyone hanged up on her. I know all of this because I'm in the same boat.
Hi Kendra,relapse is easy I have done it plenty of times.There is a real danger zone around 20 to 30 or so days.Your barin is starting to work better and your body is getting back to normal but there is still alot of anxiety and this is a recipe for relapse for sure.Just keep going and thinking about how to react to this before it happens.Sometimes you just have to lock yourself away in your room and don't come out until the craving/thoughts pass.They always do.Hang in there and btw...don't stop posting ok
Also, just to add..we have both been very scared for the well-being of our unborn babies because we both quit taking pain pills when we found out we were expecting, and we know how much stress it puts on our bodies and therefore the babies. Worrying about them being okay while we went through the withdrawal was stressful by itself..so although we both know we need to quit smoking, we didn't want to put more stress on our bodies than what it was already going through. It's very dangerous to quit all that at the same time and could possibly make you miscarry. It's all scary for us. We are trying so hard to do the right thing, we just thought one thing at a time was best. Does that make any sense?
I'm pretty sure it was just concern for her unborn child from everyone who responded - no judgment and the posts indicated as much. Just concern and individual opinions. That's what makes this place so great, I think. Everyone has a voice and we're all learning from each other.
I'm glad you're back, keep posting, I'm here for you, God bless
I know everyone was just showing concern and I agree about everyone's individual opinions and all. I was just trying to shed some light on why she got upset. There are so many wonderful people here and it is a great support system!
Thank you, kendradawn for putting it like that. That is how I meant it, but have a hard time putting into words what's in my head :p thank you, you are an angel sent from heaven:)
Ricart thank you for that, i wont stop posting because of you and the others i have mentioned have been so wonderful to me... id miss yall! Also, there are more that i csn help, and thst has always been the best part of soberiety.
Many of us have given you support Kendra~~