Aa
When will life come back?
I broke my back 10 years ago and got hooked on pain meds. I have been weening back for a year. My wife moved out due to my unhappiness and struggle . I believe my unhappiness is due to the drug withdrawal. 2 nights ago I decided to cold turkey because weening *****. Might as well really suck right? Well I am having a panic attack right now. I have 2 beautiful boys and a beautiful wife and I just want my life back. I was down to 2.5 hydros from 6 a day. Doesn't seem like crap compared to some of you but I am dying just the same. My wife is gone. My kids see me 1/2 the time and I want my life back. When will I be able to join the world? What will help me kick this on my own? I'm at rock bottom right now. This is the first post of my life for any reason. Thank you for listening!
10-4-13 3:00pm
Back to dying. Shaking, sweating and full of ringing in my ears. I think the sound is telling me I am a total idiot over and over And over. I have not taken any of the doctors pharms because I want to be awake to say good night to my children. God help me to not feel like this tomorrow when I see them. Speaking of god. I am non religious and my wife is Christian. I am reading through a layman's version of the bible to see where she gets her strength and kind of get it. It is helping me believe I can beat this and pull my family back together. If the David cat can keep us head up then There is hope for me (I think)! First things first. Get through the next five minutes. I took the valerian root, multi vitamin, magnesium, Imodium and pounded Gatorade. As well as ate some apple sauce and a banana. Lastly, I took a hot bath with the salt stuff. I am definitely depressed but I don't have the runs anymore:) I must confess that I did get a pill bottle out of my car and.... Gave them to my dad to never be seen again. Am I funny or what? Hope you all made it through your day as painless as could be! This sux donkey, big time. Thank you all for your support and time to help some posting newbie with my personal problems.
Back to dying. Shaking, sweating and full of ringing in my ears. I think the sound is telling me I am a total idiot over and over And over. I have not taken any of the doctors pharms because I want to be awake to say good night to my children. God help me to not feel like this tomorrow when I see them. Speaking of god. I am non religious and my wife is Christian. I am reading through a layman's version of the bible to see where she gets her strength and kind of get it. It is helping me believe I can beat this and pull my family back together. If the David cat can keep us head up then There is hope for me (I think)! First things first. Get through the next five minutes. I took the valerian root, multi vitamin, magnesium, Imodium and pounded Gatorade. As well as ate some apple sauce and a banana. Lastly, I took a hot bath with the salt stuff. I am definitely depressed but I don't have the runs anymore:) I must confess that I did get a pill bottle out of my car and.... Gave them to my dad to never be seen again. Am I funny or what? Hope you all made it through your day as painless as could be! This sux donkey, big time. Thank you all for your support and time to help some posting newbie with my personal problems.
10-4-13 11:30Am. Well I ate a little more this am . I am going to try some of the suggestions as far as over the counter goes. I did call my doctor. No one freak out here. I called to say I was done with the pain pills and I don't want him to give me any pain pills ever again. I did ask him if he had any suggestions and wait for it... He hasn't called back:). I'm smiling in my mind because I'm normally a funny guy. I might is the in there somewhere. Obviously I feel a bit better right now. Still haven't flushed em. I have a refill of 120 that I can get right now if I want . I guess my point is I have to be able to do this knowing it is dictated by me, not if I am out. That being said I am not at my house, my kids are not here, my soul mate is gone so it might just happen I toss the pills before I go home. Isn't it bad for the water system to flush pharms:). Another joke. I'm on a roll. Your wait is over people. My doc called me back zanex for 2-3 nights and tarazodone (sp sry). Any thoughts. Just actually hearing from my doc has helped my anxiety (for now). My wife is seeing a pain specialist today. I hope she is honest and begins her journey to be pill free. (That could be a bumper sticker )
Definitely get a good multi-vitamin, some B6, some magnesium, and a zinc/mag/calcium supplement. Also, pick up some L Tyrosine and beginning tomorrow morning take about 1000 mg on an empty stomach (about an hour before breakfast)...this will help with energy. You need to stay hydrated. You should be feeling much better by Monday (heck, probably by Sunday).
Also, you need to flush the pills pronto. Why are you keeping them? Trust me, I've seen a ton on here say they have "will power" and that will power gets them right into a relapse. There is no reason to keep the pills so get rid of them (and all your sources) now. That's going to prove very key in your recovery.
Good luck and keep us posted. Once clean you'll see how the issues with your wife / family will get worked out. Focus on you for now.
Also, you need to flush the pills pronto. Why are you keeping them? Trust me, I've seen a ton on here say they have "will power" and that will power gets them right into a relapse. There is no reason to keep the pills so get rid of them (and all your sources) now. That's going to prove very key in your recovery.
Good luck and keep us posted. Once clean you'll see how the issues with your wife / family will get worked out. Focus on you for now.
You can get Valerian Root at GNC or Rite Aid. You are in the thick of it now. You should start turning the corner physically within 24 hours.
But the mental takes a bit longer. And after acute wds are over, it's easier to convince yourself to take a pill. I know that seems backwards, that you'd want it more while in physical he**, but this is a strange disease.
The counseling appointment is good. Aftercare is AA/NA, counseling, someplace you are dealing with addiction, because it doesn't go away after acute wds. We will always be addicts, even if we aren't using. So, just like any other disease, you need continuing treatment. Make sense?
It's so very much worth the hard work. Promise!!
But the mental takes a bit longer. And after acute wds are over, it's easier to convince yourself to take a pill. I know that seems backwards, that you'd want it more while in physical he**, but this is a strange disease.
The counseling appointment is good. Aftercare is AA/NA, counseling, someplace you are dealing with addiction, because it doesn't go away after acute wds. We will always be addicts, even if we aren't using. So, just like any other disease, you need continuing treatment. Make sense?
It's so very much worth the hard work. Promise!!
Day 3, 60 hours but who is counting:). Where do I get this root? When will I feel like I am not dying? What is aftercare ? I'm seeing a marriage counselor Monday. How will I do that when I can't get out of bed? Thanks for listening ? Last question. If i was down to 2.5 pills a day how the heck do people come off of 10-15 a day? I feel so bad for them if the withdrawal mathematically works out for them to feel how ever many times worse. I guess it is good I can feel something. Thanks again for listening!
PS.. I had bad anxiety when I quit. I mean wouldn't go out of the house for a month anxiety. I bought Valerian Root. It helped!
What day is this for you?
Make sure if nothing else, you hydrate. Exersize, small walks when you can will do wonders.
I got addicted with real pain too. Started on LT and got up to Roxies. And the pain wasn't handled well on them either.
But after about 30 or 45 days, my pain mostly lessened, to where it was less than on pain pills. A lot of people here had the same thing. Less pain after getting clean. But during the first 30 days it was crazy bad.
Have you thought about aftercare yet?
Make sure if nothing else, you hydrate. Exersize, small walks when you can will do wonders.
I got addicted with real pain too. Started on LT and got up to Roxies. And the pain wasn't handled well on them either.
But after about 30 or 45 days, my pain mostly lessened, to where it was less than on pain pills. A lot of people here had the same thing. Less pain after getting clean. But during the first 30 days it was crazy bad.
Have you thought about aftercare yet?
On a plan. She had major back surgery a few years ago and almost died, then had neck surgery this summer and is now realizing that we have BIG issues. So, my battle to shake this is 2 fold. I need to be clean for me first, then for her so she can do the same. She can't work through her issues with me right now and that could be the hardest part for me. So, how am I? Didn't sleep much last night ! Cramping all over, ringing ears, panic most of the time , scared to see my kids, wondering if I can get back to work Monday, but KNOW I have to beat this. Hope someone out there got over the hump today! Thank you all for your support. I take comfort in your kindness. Sorry about double posts. Still learning how. Little shaky too:)
Well last night was the worst so far. All the normal symptoms plus the heart ache of my wife being gone. She too has an addiction and is going to the dr today to get on a
Welcome IWMLB,
You came to the right place....congrats on your decision to get clean.
I can guarantee you that in a few weeks from now things will look much
different and BETTER. I really didn't realize how distorted my thinking was while using AND detoxing too. Woa....head trip ....worse than the
actual W/D and that's when you're really going to have to have your
guard up.....but this is the place to be for that!
I'm 27yr. opiate abuser amongst other drugs, but this is my doc this time around for detox. (I got off the other drugs while back) I am 40 days clean today!!! Never in a million yrs. did I think I would be able to say that ever!
If I can do it....so can you!
I will be watching and rootin for you sending you prayers of peace and health and hope.
take it moment by moment by friend.
hugs
You came to the right place....congrats on your decision to get clean.
I can guarantee you that in a few weeks from now things will look much
different and BETTER. I really didn't realize how distorted my thinking was while using AND detoxing too. Woa....head trip ....worse than the
actual W/D and that's when you're really going to have to have your
guard up.....but this is the place to be for that!
I'm 27yr. opiate abuser amongst other drugs, but this is my doc this time around for detox. (I got off the other drugs while back) I am 40 days clean today!!! Never in a million yrs. did I think I would be able to say that ever!
If I can do it....so can you!
I will be watching and rootin for you sending you prayers of peace and health and hope.
take it moment by moment by friend.
hugs
Just hang in there....you will be over the hump soon!! I CT off Norco, about 12 pills a day...for many years....hoping you sleep some tonight....glad you got some food in....that will help you feel better for sure....keep yourself nourished and drink LOTS of water...even when you think you can't. We are here for support and will help you any way we can....hang tough, you can do this!!
I have not tried quitting before. Been on a few taper plans but they made me feel w/d on a smaller scale. 6 a day for 3 weeks then drop it by one the next week, etc. I always only made it to the point where I could feel w/d then go back up. First shot at cold turkey for this addict. Cross your fingers 52 hours in. Do we get a
Wow! You people are Amazing. No do have pills but have. Desire to take them. I feel having willpower with them around will Make this last a lifetime. The toilet is close if I feel a slip coming. Just ate my first food in 4 days:). Tummy making crazy noises. Hoping an ambian will buy me a few hours of sleep. I am scared for tonight from all the horrid day 3-4 posts. I'm all in now baby . Bring it on (softly would be nice;)). Thank you for all of your support and courage! Such positive people . Maybe this experience will finally bring me to god
Wow! You people are Amazing. No do have pills but have. Desire to take them. I feel having willpower with them around will Make this last a lifetime. The toilet is close if I feel a slip coming. Just ate my first food in 4 days:). Tummy making crazy noises. Hoping an ambian will buy me a few hours of sleep. I am scared for tonight from all the horrid day 3-4 posts. I'm all in now baby . Bring it on (softly would be nice;)). Thank you for all of your support and courage! Such positive people . Maybe this experience will finally bring me to god
I turned 20 when I broke my back. I'll be 28 tomorrow. Sorry- I didn't want to confuse you. Lol
I broke my entire back almost 8 years ago, I just turned 20. I broke my back in a really bad car accident, almost died... The doctors first put me on Vicodin. I didn't even know what pain pills were... A couple years later, they gave me Norco... Than Percocet.. Than back to Norco. I started to abuse Norco after I had my son, year and half. Got up to 7-10 a day. 18 days ago I told myself.. " I'm tired of being sick and tired!" So, I flushed my pills and went cold turkey. The first few days, my back was killing me. However, the pain was from withdrawal pain. I'm on day18 and my back pain is a 4. OTC medicine helps with my back pain ( thank god!) If I can get clean, you can too. I'm also married and have a son. Im doing this for my family. You can too. I know 100% on where you're coming from. I'm here if you need me.
Welcome...It will get better, I promise...Make sure you get rid of all your sources..Each day is progress and even on bad days like I was having this morning are much better than all the crap that goes with pain meds..I also want to tell you that your pain will probably lessen when your body is clean from all that crap...Drink tons of water and stretch and walk...Keep moving...You are so worth it...You are a Child of God and He loves you as He does all of us...We do matter...Big Hugs...Denise
Hey, just wanting to chime in and congratulate you on going for it, that's the biggest step of all in my eye's. I always suggest exercise but with you sitting with back pain, that will be hard. When things get to much and you feel yourself struggling jump in a hot bath, this will help you clam down. Try to eat as much as you can and drink plenty liquids. Above all though just don't give up, it will take about a week to feel the real turnaround and you will be so happy you did it. Go get your life back my friend, your worth it!
My life is worth gold. I will look into the Thomas recipe. Right now I can actually watch a game on TV and not just stare at the wall and pray to a god I might just get to know after a godless life. My wife always wanted me to believe. I can say peo
I used for over 15 years; lots of pills. Today I have 21 months clean. It was hell. During the first few days I was on this forum constantly - reading everything, asking questions, letting everyone know how miserable I was and how hopeless my life was and how the world was cold and uncaring.
Man oh man. Anyway, the only thing that you can do is stick with it. There may be things that will help a little, and others will be along with that info, but for me nothing really worked except time.
A final thing - if you have legit pain, then you really need to get your doc involved. I a very short time your head will start whispering to you - telling you that the pain is real and that you need the drugs. And you may, but you need to involve your doc in order to control your intake. Or look for an alternative. Or really look at the pain.
Keep posting. And by the way, I used to think that sites like this were silly; that people who were on them were pitiful. Wrong. I've been here, almost non stop, for 21 months. This place is a very important part of my support system.
Stick around...
K
Man oh man. Anyway, the only thing that you can do is stick with it. There may be things that will help a little, and others will be along with that info, but for me nothing really worked except time.
A final thing - if you have legit pain, then you really need to get your doc involved. I a very short time your head will start whispering to you - telling you that the pain is real and that you need the drugs. And you may, but you need to involve your doc in order to control your intake. Or look for an alternative. Or really look at the pain.
Keep posting. And by the way, I used to think that sites like this were silly; that people who were on them were pitiful. Wrong. I've been here, almost non stop, for 21 months. This place is a very important part of my support system.
Stick around...
K
You will feel better, emotionally and physically. Just doesn't seem it now I'm sure.
I must ask, do you have access to pills? It's damn hard to quit if so. It's more than willpower.
So you haven't tried quitting before?
I must ask, do you have access to pills? It's damn hard to quit if so. It's more than willpower.
So you haven't tried quitting before?
Hi there, and welcome to the forum! There is lots of support here, and you will get support and advice to get you through this. We have all been in your shoes in one way or another. You can get through this. I would suggest reading as many posts as you can. There is lots of great information on this site! Check out the Thomas Recipe. It has great information on things you can do to help ease the withdrawals. Usually, it's about a week of feeling like dirt and then you will start feeling better. Your life is worth a week of dirt, right? Most importantly, keep posting for support! Take care! We are here for you!
First real one. I fee like I have been wi/d for a year. Just not this bad. I'm still having massive back pain but that doesn't even compare to the pain in my heart right now. I know this will get better just doesn't feel like it now. Thank you for ur time
First real one. I fee like I have been wi/d for a year. Just not this bad. I'm still having massive back pain but that doesn't even compare to the pain in my heart right now. I know this will get better just doesn't feel like it now. Thank you for ur time
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