Aa
norco withdrawal again.. yeah I know
Hi everyone. Im a 33 year old female with three kids. I went cold turkey three weeks ago even got to day six and stupid me I got my 90 norco refill. That was filled on the 23 I took my last one yesterday around 6:00. I have not done the math yet but im sure its well over a couple a day. What the hell was I thinking? So now im starting over 21 hours in. Does anyone know if my withdrawal will be as bad? Im willing to do this and I know how stupid I am so please don't tell me about myself.
I even said before I got them " ive got another buzz in me but I don't have another withdrawal. " so what the hell is wrong with me. Im done. I can get more but I don't want this anymore. Y he six days I had clean my life was so clear and I realized how much I missed out on ny kids life. I think the guilt overwhelmed me. Of course I have no health insurance so counselling isn't an option. I just want to make it. Does anyone know if this will be the same hell I faced not even a month ago or will it be easier because I didn't use for about a week? Not going to quit if it is hard just a question. I know I was addicted for a long time so I do deserve this. Thanks for the help
I even said before I got them " ive got another buzz in me but I don't have another withdrawal. " so what the hell is wrong with me. Im done. I can get more but I don't want this anymore. Y he six days I had clean my life was so clear and I realized how much I missed out on ny kids life. I think the guilt overwhelmed me. Of course I have no health insurance so counselling isn't an option. I just want to make it. Does anyone know if this will be the same hell I faced not even a month ago or will it be easier because I didn't use for about a week? Not going to quit if it is hard just a question. I know I was addicted for a long time so I do deserve this. Thanks for the help
I think you may be right about the meeting thing. Its just always been hard for me to go into public places and no im not crazy and I deal with it well but I always have thoughts in my head about how others must think im a **** or why do I bother going and that im fat. I know it sounds really crazy but ive always dealt with that and I think its because I was always called names and even after childhood got into a very abusive relationship. I never was one tocall the cops but he wwent to jail on an attemptedmmurder charge that got dropped to felony assault.
Im very embarrased of the choices ive made in my life. My mind wasn't right and I really ( believe it or hunot) thought abuse was normal. I have three
Kids by three different men and that is my biggest humiliation. I worked in a steel mill only the
second woman to ever work there and I do that
because I don't have to deal with people and still
take care of my kids.
I know my thinking and low self value and even drug addiction needs work so I got on Zoloft recently and hopefully will help. I think all the things people called me especially my parents is like a broken record and im ready to throw the record out.
To the person on day 16.. if I actually made it this far than ANYONE CAN. Ive never had this much clean time and I have to say it really really gets better every day. Im sure everyone or almost everyone dealing with addiction has emotional issues so I think it has to be a whole lifestyle change.
I was tired of spending the money and the doctor that prescribed me the pills was really a pervert and made me uncomfortable so now I don't have to go see him again. He still calls my cell and I ignore it. Feels good.
Im not living until my next pill and if thats all I can do today then thats enough for me. Im well on my way to living again.
As for my family my little sister is clean as well. Shes just clean because she cant find any but is still clean. She lives an hour away so we only talk by phone.
My middle son just got out of the hospital after a week because he had an infection on his bone and im proud to say I was clean every day of it.
I still have to make myself do things but way more energy than day ten.
God bless everyone that is going through this as I am.
Im very embarrased of the choices ive made in my life. My mind wasn't right and I really ( believe it or hunot) thought abuse was normal. I have three
Kids by three different men and that is my biggest humiliation. I worked in a steel mill only the
second woman to ever work there and I do that
because I don't have to deal with people and still
take care of my kids.
I know my thinking and low self value and even drug addiction needs work so I got on Zoloft recently and hopefully will help. I think all the things people called me especially my parents is like a broken record and im ready to throw the record out.
To the person on day 16.. if I actually made it this far than ANYONE CAN. Ive never had this much clean time and I have to say it really really gets better every day. Im sure everyone or almost everyone dealing with addiction has emotional issues so I think it has to be a whole lifestyle change.
I was tired of spending the money and the doctor that prescribed me the pills was really a pervert and made me uncomfortable so now I don't have to go see him again. He still calls my cell and I ignore it. Feels good.
Im not living until my next pill and if thats all I can do today then thats enough for me. Im well on my way to living again.
As for my family my little sister is clean as well. Shes just clean because she cant find any but is still clean. She lives an hour away so we only talk by phone.
My middle son just got out of the hospital after a week because he had an infection on his bone and im proud to say I was clean every day of it.
I still have to make myself do things but way more energy than day ten.
God bless everyone that is going through this as I am.
Good to see you back! First...a HUGE CONGRATS on 20 DAYS CLEAN!!
I totally missed this thread when you originally posted it a month ago...I was out of town that weekend and had never read any of it until now.
My heart just goes out to you....in a million ways.
You are young, beautiful and strong! There is so much in your future if you can stay free of mind altering substances and can get some healing started in your life.....not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.
I don't know how many meetings you tried? More than one? Different times of day? Different parts of town? Any women's only meetings? How about some AA versus NA meetings? I was told to try a meeting 6x before I decided it wasn't for me. The topic is different, the person that volunteers to lead the meeting is different, the people who show up and share at each one are usually different, the lunch meetings draw a different crowd than the 5 pm "just off work" crowd, and the 7 or 8 pm meetings draw yet another group of varied people. There are SO many ways to find support as we are recovering...NA or AA....Celebrate Recovery, Overcomers Outreach, The James Gang, Smart Recovery, small groups that meet in churches, etc. If you don't get any skin on support....and surround yourself with at least one or two people that you can relate to in this new clean life....the old begins to creep back in....guaranteed! Stress is our #1 enemy as recovering addicts. We have to UN-learn and RE-learn....kinda deprogram ourselves and learn new ways of thinking. Whether we are addicts or not, life is going to be full of both pain and joy. And without a recovery plan in place of some kind.....we have no tools in our toolbox to "do the job" of STAYING CLEAN. Kind of like a carpenter that doesn't have a hammer or a saw. Even in my kitchen, I'm really particular about having just the right tool for the job. LOL
I hope you can give yourself permission to stay away from your family for now. I had certain family members that REALLY triggered me, and I had to stay away from them until I became stronger and more at peace inside myself. I tried with one person at 60 days clean and had an all out anxiety attack (had to even leave and go to the quick shop for a few just to breathe and call someone)...tried again at 90 days clean...nope! I was almost 6 months clean before I could be around her. I was just too raw and vulnerable to deal with all the old crappy history and stress.
We cannot spend time around toxic people without poisoning our own spirits......and you can form a new "recovery" family.....meaning two or more people who share the same goals and values, have a personal commitment to one another and treat each other with respect and love.
They don't have to be "biological" for sure :)
I do hope you'll keep sharing and posting....and that you aren't considering trying to stay clean alone. Wishing you well and glad you came back!!
I totally missed this thread when you originally posted it a month ago...I was out of town that weekend and had never read any of it until now.
My heart just goes out to you....in a million ways.
You are young, beautiful and strong! There is so much in your future if you can stay free of mind altering substances and can get some healing started in your life.....not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.
I don't know how many meetings you tried? More than one? Different times of day? Different parts of town? Any women's only meetings? How about some AA versus NA meetings? I was told to try a meeting 6x before I decided it wasn't for me. The topic is different, the person that volunteers to lead the meeting is different, the people who show up and share at each one are usually different, the lunch meetings draw a different crowd than the 5 pm "just off work" crowd, and the 7 or 8 pm meetings draw yet another group of varied people. There are SO many ways to find support as we are recovering...NA or AA....Celebrate Recovery, Overcomers Outreach, The James Gang, Smart Recovery, small groups that meet in churches, etc. If you don't get any skin on support....and surround yourself with at least one or two people that you can relate to in this new clean life....the old begins to creep back in....guaranteed! Stress is our #1 enemy as recovering addicts. We have to UN-learn and RE-learn....kinda deprogram ourselves and learn new ways of thinking. Whether we are addicts or not, life is going to be full of both pain and joy. And without a recovery plan in place of some kind.....we have no tools in our toolbox to "do the job" of STAYING CLEAN. Kind of like a carpenter that doesn't have a hammer or a saw. Even in my kitchen, I'm really particular about having just the right tool for the job. LOL
I hope you can give yourself permission to stay away from your family for now. I had certain family members that REALLY triggered me, and I had to stay away from them until I became stronger and more at peace inside myself. I tried with one person at 60 days clean and had an all out anxiety attack (had to even leave and go to the quick shop for a few just to breathe and call someone)...tried again at 90 days clean...nope! I was almost 6 months clean before I could be around her. I was just too raw and vulnerable to deal with all the old crappy history and stress.
We cannot spend time around toxic people without poisoning our own spirits......and you can form a new "recovery" family.....meaning two or more people who share the same goals and values, have a personal commitment to one another and treat each other with respect and love.
They don't have to be "biological" for sure :)
I do hope you'll keep sharing and posting....and that you aren't considering trying to stay clean alone. Wishing you well and glad you came back!!
Thank you for your post! I'm on day 16 and am very frustrated that I don't have my energy and motivation back. I used on/off for 12 months and I guess I thought I would be past all now! I look forward to day 20!!!!! I agree that this forum is such a godsend for many people.
Clean date 10-15-2014
Yes I fell off and jumped back on. Had to share because if other people do like I did reading these forums are the only thing that helped me. I decided NA isn't for me. I think its great just not for me.
The first week of withdrawal was once again emotional. On day ten I was so miserable and wanted to give up because I couldn't sleep and had no energy. Felt like it would never end. I think up until day fifteen I had not much energy.
Im posting this because I didn't find too many post about opiates past day fifteen of withdrawal.
Keep pushing. I want people to know day 20 is awesome. I know it's different for everyone but if you happen to be strolling through withdrawal forums and you see this PLEASE KEEP GOING!!
Yes I fell off and jumped back on. Had to share because if other people do like I did reading these forums are the only thing that helped me. I decided NA isn't for me. I think its great just not for me.
The first week of withdrawal was once again emotional. On day ten I was so miserable and wanted to give up because I couldn't sleep and had no energy. Felt like it would never end. I think up until day fifteen I had not much energy.
Im posting this because I didn't find too many post about opiates past day fifteen of withdrawal.
Keep pushing. I want people to know day 20 is awesome. I know it's different for everyone but if you happen to be strolling through withdrawal forums and you see this PLEASE KEEP GOING!!
Ok meeting was good. It is true withdrawal symptoms are always worse every time. I am still having problems with being in public but it will pass one day. Thank u pat1956100 for the extreme compassion.
Thank you to the owner of this site for changing my screen name as I would not want to upset any of my siblings with the horrible emotions that I went through during the first day of my withdrawal. I don't want to hurt anyone. Im still clean I just hope I can stop hating everything about myself. I am working on it. Thank u for the prayers
Thank you to the owner of this site for changing my screen name as I would not want to upset any of my siblings with the horrible emotions that I went through during the first day of my withdrawal. I don't want to hurt anyone. Im still clean I just hope I can stop hating everything about myself. I am working on it. Thank u for the prayers
i have not read all the replies, but from MY experience withdrawal symptoms get worse and worse every time i put myself through it.
it has never been my experience that i stop for a month and then use for a month and have little withdrawal.
see, your mind KNOWS it can convince you to use. it just has to to do whatever it did to convince you to refill that script. if you do not listen to it then the next time it will try even harder to get you to use again until you cave.
that is why you have to cut all your sources. if you don't want to tell your dr you are an addict, at least tell them you don't want to take them anymore.
delete any phone contacts you have.
get aftercare. even if you just do 90 meetings in 90 days and never go to another one, that is better than nothing
it has never been my experience that i stop for a month and then use for a month and have little withdrawal.
see, your mind KNOWS it can convince you to use. it just has to to do whatever it did to convince you to refill that script. if you do not listen to it then the next time it will try even harder to get you to use again until you cave.
that is why you have to cut all your sources. if you don't want to tell your dr you are an addict, at least tell them you don't want to take them anymore.
delete any phone contacts you have.
get aftercare. even if you just do 90 meetings in 90 days and never go to another one, that is better than nothing
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