Aa
norco withdrawal again.. yeah I know
Hi everyone. Im a 33 year old female with three kids. I went cold turkey three weeks ago even got to day six and stupid me I got my 90 norco refill. That was filled on the 23 I took my last one yesterday around 6:00. I have not done the math yet but im sure its well over a couple a day. What the hell was I thinking? So now im starting over 21 hours in. Does anyone know if my withdrawal will be as bad? Im willing to do this and I know how stupid I am so please don't tell me about myself.
I even said before I got them " ive got another buzz in me but I don't have another withdrawal. " so what the hell is wrong with me. Im done. I can get more but I don't want this anymore. Y he six days I had clean my life was so clear and I realized how much I missed out on ny kids life. I think the guilt overwhelmed me. Of course I have no health insurance so counselling isn't an option. I just want to make it. Does anyone know if this will be the same hell I faced not even a month ago or will it be easier because I didn't use for about a week? Not going to quit if it is hard just a question. I know I was addicted for a long time so I do deserve this. Thanks for the help
I even said before I got them " ive got another buzz in me but I don't have another withdrawal. " so what the hell is wrong with me. Im done. I can get more but I don't want this anymore. Y he six days I had clean my life was so clear and I realized how much I missed out on ny kids life. I think the guilt overwhelmed me. Of course I have no health insurance so counselling isn't an option. I just want to make it. Does anyone know if this will be the same hell I faced not even a month ago or will it be easier because I didn't use for about a week? Not going to quit if it is hard just a question. I know I was addicted for a long time so I do deserve this. Thanks for the help
I read every comment and you all told me exactly what I needed to hear and know.
Sorry for the typos for some reason my vision is extremely blurry.
Im taking my eight year old to a birthday party today. Only the will of God is helping me with how I feel.
The post talking about doing different things and telling it really really made me terrified. I am number twelve of my mom's fourteen children and my little sister under me has seemed to be my partner in addiction. We are pretty close considering I grew up in fifty two different foster homes and she was only in one with me. The last four of my mom's kids were taken due to extreme neglect and lots of sexual abuse. Orphanages were not bad for me. I am positive I got good therapy and moved past a lot if issues. By the time I saw my other siblings when we were out of the system I remember my other sister who I was very close to before being taken had been Sent to a mental institution. She was a healthy twelve year old. She was nnineteen when I saw her again. She was 90 pounds and severely anorexic . I remember feeling so much guilt. My little brother when I saw him again I remember nothing but guilt. Even as an adult. Hes on crack but I still remember that little boy forced to sleep in a bath tub and tied up. See I have taken those pills because I have so much guilt and now I have to break the only relationship with the only sibling I speak to. I don't know how to do this but I will. These things I have never ever talked about but I needed to. Thank u guys for helping me get where I need to be. This is hard and I feel bad emotional and physical
Sorry for the typos for some reason my vision is extremely blurry.
Im taking my eight year old to a birthday party today. Only the will of God is helping me with how I feel.
The post talking about doing different things and telling it really really made me terrified. I am number twelve of my mom's fourteen children and my little sister under me has seemed to be my partner in addiction. We are pretty close considering I grew up in fifty two different foster homes and she was only in one with me. The last four of my mom's kids were taken due to extreme neglect and lots of sexual abuse. Orphanages were not bad for me. I am positive I got good therapy and moved past a lot if issues. By the time I saw my other siblings when we were out of the system I remember my other sister who I was very close to before being taken had been Sent to a mental institution. She was a healthy twelve year old. She was nnineteen when I saw her again. She was 90 pounds and severely anorexic . I remember feeling so much guilt. My little brother when I saw him again I remember nothing but guilt. Even as an adult. Hes on crack but I still remember that little boy forced to sleep in a bath tub and tied up. See I have taken those pills because I have so much guilt and now I have to break the only relationship with the only sibling I speak to. I don't know how to do this but I will. These things I have never ever talked about but I needed to. Thank u guys for helping me get where I need to be. This is hard and I feel bad emotional and physical
I don't have any better answer for you. But I can tell you that I DO have insurance and also personally financed some expensive "unique" brain based treatment to deal with all this.....and I struggle still with the same type of stuff as you are struggling with. So.....I gotta believe...its an inside job. We have to dig deep within for the strength and willpower to fight this demon. I have found support here and after reading this thread ..into am going to look to support group of NA. Thanks for posting. Gave me new food for thought. I wish you strength. Embrace those kid moments and make them matter.
Ok I made it exactly 24 minutes at the kids birthday party. Thank goodness my son is spending the night with his best friend who was having the party.
I was faced with the reason why I thought I needed the pills. I don't understand how people go through life talking to other people without feeling so beneath them. The pills made that feeling so small or even gone. So I made it 24 minutes in a room full of parents feeling like trash. Like I remember always feeling. Like every single person is looking at me wondering why Im there.
Clearly it will be something I will have to deal with in another way but today's not the day. Im home and still norco free. Maybe some one can remember me in they're prayers. I really want this. Thank you all.
I was faced with the reason why I thought I needed the pills. I don't understand how people go through life talking to other people without feeling so beneath them. The pills made that feeling so small or even gone. So I made it 24 minutes in a room full of parents feeling like trash. Like I remember always feeling. Like every single person is looking at me wondering why Im there.
Clearly it will be something I will have to deal with in another way but today's not the day. Im home and still norco free. Maybe some one can remember me in they're prayers. I really want this. Thank you all.
I will remember you in my prayers soon as I finish this post cliner. you are doing great! your still clean!!! wow girl parties are hard even on years of recovery! take it easy on yourself. what a story you have my heart goes out to you I am so sorry. it will take time to feel good about yourself. but you can start now! you are doing this! what a wonderful thing! you are giving this gift to yourself and taking care of you. that is great! that makes you a helluva lot taller than all those people at the party stacked one on top of the other in my eyes! :)
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