SAHM Lortab Addiction - Withdrawals!

[rcj1180]

Hi, I am a 30 year old mom/wife to young children & by way of legal prescription, my dad giving me some of his for pain, (I have arthritis, slipped disc, fibromyalgia & depression)   & rec use I have become addicted to lortabs.  I had my last prescription of (60) 7.5s filled thursday, by Saturday night I took my last ones. (I took 50 total - 10 of them I gave to my husband to help me taper. which he ended up taking some of those.   He was livid with me yesterday when I told him I was OUT.  He is scared I'm going to kill myself with them. (He is also addicted to them, not to the point i am though).  I get them I tell myself I am only going to take the prescribed amount, maybe a little more on bad days because my tolerance is so high but within a week (less this time) then are GONE.  I am all out now and scared of tomorrow morning when my Withdrawals are the worse and the depression and anxiety are at a all time high.  I am trying to stave off the depression and anxiety...it scares the kids when I have crying fits from the withdrawals.  The physical part of withdrawals are hard, the emotional part is just EVIL.  How do you get through the emotional part????????????????/   Anyone just cry and cry??????? I am proud of myself today just for making it this far without crying my guts out and looking for more.  It was hell to even get in the shower today after I took the kids to school.  Eating lots of Immodium for the belly issues.  I feel HORRIBLE person for blowing thru 50 pills in 3 days.  I can't even understand why in the &*^(  I ate that many....it just feels so good to be able to CLEAN, pay bills, take care of the kids, the husband and me and fight my depression and anxiety with them.  Last month, I think it was 4-5 days before I was out, but was able to get more.  This time I'm facing some yucky withdrawls - I think it helps to know I'm not alone.  I'm not really a bad person?  It's just the addiction in me taking these pills?  Seeking encouragement & advice....I do have legit pain issues, but I cannot take my medicine correctly because I have become addicted. I just dont' know what to do where to turn. My husband was mad I took that many that fast, but he does enable me & buys them here in there with spare cash.  (as well as other family members).  I can't just "leave" my family.  3 weeks until my next refill.  I love them, I don't want to tell my doctor....then again I don't want to be this monster & kill my liver and kidneys this way.  My babies need me.  Surely is a love/hate relationship. I'm a mess....just need withdrawal advice.   it's hard to eat....how do you make yourself eat too when in the "throes" of withdrawal???

[rcj1180]

I apologize for the rambling in my posts.  I'm not very clear mentally right now!

[rcj1180]

Thanks to you both.  It is very hard having a husband AND a family of opiate users.  I use to be able to take them or leave them.  But I had two surgeries this year and that's when I became really hooked.  My father, thinking he is helping, handed me handfuls of pills earlier this year and every now and then.  Debbie, I am, I don't think I am at the point where I am serious enough to cancel my scripts and tell my doctor.  Oh I wish I was so very bad.  Maybe one day I will get the courage to do so.  Hot baths help and good advice on the eating :)  thank you!  I am on Lyrica also, &  I think that's been my saving grace physically.  I'm taking lots of Aleve also.  Tonight, every joint in my body hurts.  I did have a meltdown earlier this evening but I'm trying to keep the anxiety/depression at bay...it is by far the hardest part of the withdraw!  I am prescribed clonazepam, 1mg at night, and I have taking 1/4s throughout the day.  It would be nice to take it to sleep through the majority of it but I still have to function and be a mom, so I'm careful not to take too much of that.  
luciddreamrgrl - the anticipation is worse I think!  I know when/or if I know I am going to get more script my anxiety/depression suddenly disappears!!! It is soooo mental.  Where can I find the L-tyrosine at...I have never heard of it.  If I continue with my pain prescriptions, which I need, I almost wish the doctor wouldn't give me so many at once KWIM?  or count my pills for me that way I'm accountable to someone...anyway if I continue to take them for my pain, I am giong to have to have some kind of will power to take them as directed.  The addiction takes over and it's soooo hard.  

[luciddreamrgrl]

Hey girl and welcome.

You and I are the same. We are both 30 (well I'm 29 but close enough). I'm a mother like you and I had legit pain issues like you. I got my meds prescribed legally but like you, I took them all in 2 or 3 weeks and would run out. Also, like me, you realized early that you have a problem. You are taking more than I did but it's all the same situation.

I'm only on day 6 myself and I can tell you that I cried and had more anxiety BEFORE I actually stopped taking the pills. The anticipation was killing me and I felt I had no control whatsoever.

Listen to atthebeach she helped me so much through this. Her advice above is really good.  I wanted to tell you also how much the L-tyrosine in the thomas recipe has helped me after my worst withdrawals were through. Everyone here is so helpful. Just keep coming back every day.

[atthebeach]

Hello and welcome.
How are you feeling? Hot baths with epsom salts and motrin for aches and pains.
Drink lots of fluids. Hylands restul legs for rls. Also bananas.magnesium and potassim supplements. Nature otc sleep aids.alteril or sleep by nature made. Main ingredients valerian root and melatonin plus other natural extracts.
If your husband has pills it is going to be very hard for you to succeed.
Eat small bites of toast.crackers.soup.yogurt.milk shakes.smoothies.
If you are serious about stopping you need to tell your doctor and pharmacy to cancel your script.
Keep a positive attitude. Move around as much as possible.
You can do this.
Sending prayers
Debbie