Married Addicts what to do?

[Iwantbetter777]

I am like most of you, fighting an impossible fight.  I did it to myself.  I was so smart.  I am very resourceful, I wish I wasn't.  Unfortunately it's more than me.  I know there is no such thing as perfection.  I really did think I could have my cake and eat it too.  This began long ago, and was harmless.  Drugs were fun and easy to find.  I have never used other than pills, pot never did it for me. I am married to the most wonderful person and we went down this road together.  We have talked about getting clean always in the abstract. As something that will happen when we are ready.  We never thought of ourselves as addicts, we can stop tomorrow or next week.  I know that day should have come YEARS ago.  But time slipped by and here we are.  So anyone out there in a loving relationship with an addict?  Any suggestions, leaving is not an option.  

[clean_in_ks]

One of your posts above said:
"The well unfortunately is never dry.  It is very complicated on many different levels.  We both want out but it seems unattainable.  The particular drug is oxycodone 30mg's among others.  Ritilin, Xanax.  I wish I was embellishing to sound more serious. But alas as they say it is what it is"

So have you both decided getting clean is "unattainable"...and "it is what it is"?

Oxy 30's, Ritilin and Xanax are "brain salad surgery", ya know?  I sure hope you'll make it back.....it IS attainable...don't let your addict brain convince you it's not.

[Iwantbetter777]

You all are very kind, thank you for your advice.  I will keep you updated.  
Thanks again.  

[BearsFan1966]

If you both are ready to quit you need to look up the Thomas Recipe~This helped me C/T norco and tramidol after a 10 year addiction to them! I will not tell you its going to be easy. The first week will be He%^  after that you will have the lack of energy, mind games, etc... You need to drink lots of fluids and eat and exercise~even when you feel like you want to die, get up and moving! This helps so much! Having a positive attitude that you want to quit and start your life over is a MUST!!! We wish you the best and keep posting it helps!

[Sonrissa]

Hi there and welcome. I think it would be very difficult, if not impossible for only 1 of you to quit and not the other. Especially living together. So, are you both ready to quit? If so, this forum is a wonderful place for advice and support. We have all been through this in one way or another. Let us know how we can help. I wish you and your spouse the best!

[VICourageous]

Well I agree with all of the Above..I just want to add that it is very, very hard unless you both take this Very Serious at the same time..You both will have to set everything up like Vicki said and then just be sick together for days..How long is different from person to person becasue it does depend on Age, how many mgs you we were doing, for how long, and if you come off of one drug vs two or more at once. You both will have to stay away from people, places and things that can cause you triggers to use..Like no more old stomping grounds. There has to be a brand new Life Change and you have to make a New World out here for you two..I would Highly Recommend that Both of you go to Meetings..Any AA/NA. Therapy and Counseling or Church will help too..It can be very dangerous if one starts to slip back into darkness with out some outside Support. You will need some one other then just you two to help hold you both up. The detox part will be over soon. Fighting for your Life to Stay clean is where the deep truth will be. I wish you both the best and we will be here to cheer for you all the way..Keep posting becasue we can guide you with the things we used or are still using to help heal the Brain & Body..
Also I would have you Both study all you can about the Diseases of Addiction and Addiction and the Pleasure Pathway Beyond Willpower..The more you know what this Disease can do to your Mind, Body & Soul the better you can be more in-tune with what might be going on and how serious this all is.
Bless

[BarbRTR]

Are you both ready to stop? Not just idle talk, but ready? And if so, are both of you equally determined?

It's not an unattainable goal. You can do this! You can prepare and CT them. With the exception of Xanax. Because we don't know your usage and if it was daily, stopping Xanax ct can cause seizures. It should be done under a Drs care.

Many here quit oxys CT, myself included. I also CT'd Ritalin, but I'm not sure if it's one that should be stopped or weaned. Mine came from a Dr, and unlike Roxie's, I didn't abuse Ritalin, and just quit them. Other's here will know.

You so can do this. You and your spouse have a wonderful, full life to look forward to, clean. Good luck

[Iwantbetter777]

The well unfortunately is never dry.  It is very complicated on many different levels.  We both want out but it seems unattainable.  The particular drug is oxycodone 30mg's among others.  Ritilin, Xanax.  I wish I was embellishing to sound more serious.  But alas as they say it is what it is.  

[ricart70]

It seems to go much better if you're prepared for it and not being forced into it because your source dried up!       I am a testament to this statement ;)

[vicki595]

And what is it that you're taking?

It's doable if both of you are willing to stop. You can be a support to one another. Sometimes, one person has less of a hard time than the other because we are all so different. So, that person is better able to help the other one...

It's a good idea for you both to stop before you begin to get sick...Before stopping, get everything in order: clean the house, shop, get all the supplies you'll need for withdrawing, pay bills, prepare some easy to eat food, that sort of thing.  It seems to go much better if you're prepared for it and not being forced into it because your source dried up!

[BearsFan1966]

Welcome! I have one question before I can tell you what worked for me...Do you both want to quit or just one of you???