Aa
please help - 4 days clean and maybe abut to blow it
I've posted here a few times and have a fuller biog in my tracker. long story short, long term codeine abuser - up to 1800 mg per day. ouch. I tapered down pretty quickly then went ct . I'm doing ok, bad stomach, muscle ache etc. etc. but i can bear thst. what i can' bear is no sleep. in the last 72hours (not including today,i've had maybe 2-3hrs total. I'vetried using diazepam tosleepbut even on a high dose - 70-80mg it makes no difference. I'm finding myself thinking thst if Iuse one more timejust to get some sleep, that'll help me with the next few days. I'm rationalising it on the basis that it would be no more thana prescription dose so it's no big deal. I know that's probably wrong, and I can almost guess what people will say if they read this, but what's worse, no sleep for 4 days, swallowing enough Valium to drop a horse or a bit of codeine? Say, 150mg? Would that even help? I think it would.
by carton I guess you mean like 10 boxes or something? Here in the UK 20 cigs costs £5.50 which is around $8. It's next on my list to give up, just as soon as I get through this one however long that takes. Where in the states are you btw?
That trip for cigs has confirmed that I won't be going to work tomorrow. deserted roads at 4am and I felt floaty behind the wheel 2.5 hr drive to a meeting tomorrow morning - perhaps not. I'm just hoping and praying that when I buy some nytol tomorrow, that'll nail the sleep problem.
I don't have any friends who use anything so I have no options there. Man, my life is falling apart! And yet, I'm thinking, ok I've had a couple of small doses of codeine to try and help me sleep the last couple of nights but I could easily not have done if it wasn't for the lack of sleep. 1 week ago,the thought of going a day without a substantial intake of codeine was impossible, now I know I can do it easily. It's just this friggin sleep thing. AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
I hope for my sake you're still up, for your sake you;ve gone to sleep.
That trip for cigs has confirmed that I won't be going to work tomorrow. deserted roads at 4am and I felt floaty behind the wheel 2.5 hr drive to a meeting tomorrow morning - perhaps not. I'm just hoping and praying that when I buy some nytol tomorrow, that'll nail the sleep problem.
I don't have any friends who use anything so I have no options there. Man, my life is falling apart! And yet, I'm thinking, ok I've had a couple of small doses of codeine to try and help me sleep the last couple of nights but I could easily not have done if it wasn't for the lack of sleep. 1 week ago,the thought of going a day without a substantial intake of codeine was impossible, now I know I can do it easily. It's just this friggin sleep thing. AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
I hope for my sake you're still up, for your sake you;ve gone to sleep.
What I meant by "friends" was I would call a girlfriend & ask for a few of her Benzo's & if she could spare a few, well then I would use them in the first week of WD.
Maybe not orthdox, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. My one friend will not come off her many meds, but she supports me in my quest.
Well, friend, I smoke too.
That's my next project because I can't really afford to smoke anymore. My last carton of cigs were $40. Some states are twice as much, like in California. At least that's what I've heard.
It's after 10pm here. If you don't hear back from me it ment I went to sleep!
But, I doubt it.
I'll let you know.
Bigalspal
Maybe not orthdox, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. My one friend will not come off her many meds, but she supports me in my quest.
Well, friend, I smoke too.
That's my next project because I can't really afford to smoke anymore. My last carton of cigs were $40. Some states are twice as much, like in California. At least that's what I've heard.
It's after 10pm here. If you don't hear back from me it ment I went to sleep!
But, I doubt it.
I'll let you know.
Bigalspal
how do you get detox meds through friends? I'm pretty sure my doc would just refer me to the drug service, (another waiting list), then if I said I didn't want inpatient cos I couldn't wait that long maybe they'd offer a psych (more waiting). ****, maybe it's worth one try begging on hands on knees to my doc explaining all that.
Just to complicate matters further, I have no doc, it's a series of locums so you never know who you'll see. Plus, I'm worried about having this on my medical record...
****, it's 4am, I'm still awake and now I'm gonna go out and buy cigarettes. Back in 10 mins.
Just to complicate matters further, I have no doc, it's a series of locums so you never know who you'll see. Plus, I'm worried about having this on my medical record...
****, it's 4am, I'm still awake and now I'm gonna go out and buy cigarettes. Back in 10 mins.
I guess it depends on the DR.
I was in pain mgt for 2 cervical surgeries & have a really bad back.
My Dr was not understanding at all. Not in the way you might think.
He told me I could not survive without narcotics, that the pain would be too bad.
He offered every narcotic under the sun, including Methadone (pill form) to replace the Fentanyl. I know it had to be GOD that helped me walk out of his office.
I've NEVER turned down narcotics from a DR.
But, I would think MOST DRr's would appreciate your honesty & help you.
I bet he would help you with detox meds, too.
Most Dr's are pretty nice, I think.
I hope he/she helps you. If not you'll have to either get the detox meds elsewhere (friends) or just go with supplements, OTC meds ect. I've done it both ways.
Whaterever works!
I was in pain mgt for 2 cervical surgeries & have a really bad back.
My Dr was not understanding at all. Not in the way you might think.
He told me I could not survive without narcotics, that the pain would be too bad.
He offered every narcotic under the sun, including Methadone (pill form) to replace the Fentanyl. I know it had to be GOD that helped me walk out of his office.
I've NEVER turned down narcotics from a DR.
But, I would think MOST DRr's would appreciate your honesty & help you.
I bet he would help you with detox meds, too.
Most Dr's are pretty nice, I think.
I hope he/she helps you. If not you'll have to either get the detox meds elsewhere (friends) or just go with supplements, OTC meds ect. I've done it both ways.
Whaterever works!
I've been trying the TV sleepy thing for days, doesn't work, so then I turn it off and after a while of no sleep, give up and turn it on again! I'm in London and whilst is possible to buy codeine OTC in cough syrup form, many pharmacies don't sell it and ALL are extremely vigilant about it.Thing is, I found a crooked pharmacy assistant who supplied me with as much as I wanted - generally 3 dozen bottles a week, 200 ml per bottle, 15mg codeine per 5ml. I drank it like water.
It isn't necessary to wait 6 months for treatment, I could leave my house now and be admitted somewhere within a couple of hours BUT yes it's expensive like $1300 per night. I know because I've done it about 6 times for alcohol but money is tighter now and I think this problem is a bit different to alcohol where I could check in for justa few days to clean up and then get out again. First time I went was on medical insurance and I was there for about 3 weeks - no chance of me paying for that and I don't think a few days would sort this one - I'e already proved I can do that on my own. The 6 months is for NHS treatment which is free. Problem is, it might be free but I'd come out to no wife and child so not really an option right now. That's real last resort stuff - like I'm going to die if I don't. Fact is, I felt quite healthy taking the codeine but the crooked pharmacist has left and tracking down enough codeine to feed my habit is a full time job so I decided to stop. Stock piled enough to taper down to an amount from which I could stop and here I am. If only it weren't for the sleep problem I know 100% I can do this. What do you think, if I came clean to my doc and said, look I candeal with evr=erything else but I've got to sleep... It's not going to work is it?
It isn't necessary to wait 6 months for treatment, I could leave my house now and be admitted somewhere within a couple of hours BUT yes it's expensive like $1300 per night. I know because I've done it about 6 times for alcohol but money is tighter now and I think this problem is a bit different to alcohol where I could check in for justa few days to clean up and then get out again. First time I went was on medical insurance and I was there for about 3 weeks - no chance of me paying for that and I don't think a few days would sort this one - I'e already proved I can do that on my own. The 6 months is for NHS treatment which is free. Problem is, it might be free but I'd come out to no wife and child so not really an option right now. That's real last resort stuff - like I'm going to die if I don't. Fact is, I felt quite healthy taking the codeine but the crooked pharmacist has left and tracking down enough codeine to feed my habit is a full time job so I decided to stop. Stock piled enough to taper down to an amount from which I could stop and here I am. If only it weren't for the sleep problem I know 100% I can do this. What do you think, if I came clean to my doc and said, look I candeal with evr=erything else but I've got to sleep... It's not going to work is it?
Sorry it took me so to get back to you. I've been trying to get sleepy by watching TV.
I can at least focus again. Not as restless as I was, thank goodness.
Where are you located in the UK, if you don't mind me asking? I have a distant cousin who I talk to all the time. He lives in the Midlands. He works for the goverment & gets so many minutes a week to call anywhere, & he calls me every couple of weeks.
I also have family on my Mother's side over In Cork, Ireland.
My husband's cousin lives in Belfast. On the protestant side. We were supposed to be there this year, but I lost my job. The economy.
My husband & I connected with our "across the pond" families through DNA testing a few years ago. LOTS of Anglo-Irish-Scot-Irish bllod in us! Most of we Americans are mutts! LOL!
Anyway, I take 6mg's of Melatonin a day. Unfortunatly, (spelling again) I think I messed up my sleep again tonight. I was watching "The Tudors" (I know YOU know what I'm talking about), & my body just shut down for a couple of hours. Hopefully it will do it again tonight. If not, I'll muddle through & be greatful for what sleep I did get.
I read somewhere that Melatonin is illegal over the counter in Germany. That's weird.
Can you get it in the UK?
I tell you codean, if your drug of choice of sold OTC here in the US, I'd be dead by now!
Of course the US has many sins to account for as well.
When I first took my first narcotic when I was 22, I had no idea what it was going to do to me. I was so young & my childhood home had no pills or alcohol in it. I really was ignorant of addiction. I took it for real pain, from a real DR.
Of course I blame myself for all my relaspses. I went to treatment for the first time in 1988. I had the tools, but didn't use them.
WE don't have to wait 6months for treatment over here, but it's soooo expensive!
So, I told my husband that I could do it at home since I'm not working & have the house to myself. My husband travels for his job, so I really have been greatful to have the time & space to do it at home. Our kids check in by phone & have been down this road before, so they have their own lives & know I'll see them soon.
We can do this! If you are around 40, you know it's time as well. 51 & 40 are 2 very different ages. If you don't believe me, you will in 10 years or so!
Talk to you again soon,
Bigalspal
I can at least focus again. Not as restless as I was, thank goodness.
Where are you located in the UK, if you don't mind me asking? I have a distant cousin who I talk to all the time. He lives in the Midlands. He works for the goverment & gets so many minutes a week to call anywhere, & he calls me every couple of weeks.
I also have family on my Mother's side over In Cork, Ireland.
My husband's cousin lives in Belfast. On the protestant side. We were supposed to be there this year, but I lost my job. The economy.
My husband & I connected with our "across the pond" families through DNA testing a few years ago. LOTS of Anglo-Irish-Scot-Irish bllod in us! Most of we Americans are mutts! LOL!
Anyway, I take 6mg's of Melatonin a day. Unfortunatly, (spelling again) I think I messed up my sleep again tonight. I was watching "The Tudors" (I know YOU know what I'm talking about), & my body just shut down for a couple of hours. Hopefully it will do it again tonight. If not, I'll muddle through & be greatful for what sleep I did get.
I read somewhere that Melatonin is illegal over the counter in Germany. That's weird.
Can you get it in the UK?
I tell you codean, if your drug of choice of sold OTC here in the US, I'd be dead by now!
Of course the US has many sins to account for as well.
When I first took my first narcotic when I was 22, I had no idea what it was going to do to me. I was so young & my childhood home had no pills or alcohol in it. I really was ignorant of addiction. I took it for real pain, from a real DR.
Of course I blame myself for all my relaspses. I went to treatment for the first time in 1988. I had the tools, but didn't use them.
WE don't have to wait 6months for treatment over here, but it's soooo expensive!
So, I told my husband that I could do it at home since I'm not working & have the house to myself. My husband travels for his job, so I really have been greatful to have the time & space to do it at home. Our kids check in by phone & have been down this road before, so they have their own lives & know I'll see them soon.
We can do this! If you are around 40, you know it's time as well. 51 & 40 are 2 very different ages. If you don't believe me, you will in 10 years or so!
Talk to you again soon,
Bigalspal
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