Aa
Can't stop.... :(
I've been a binge drinker since I was about 14. It's the biggest problem for me. I recently got off Percocet after being on it for 3 years after a car wreck. Now I'm trying to address this major issue I've had forever that has been inhibiting and interfering with my life. I've always reached for alcohol to have fun. On the summer days on the beach(illegally hiding it on beaches as well), in the winter: taking a break from the slopes getting some liquid courage, all year round hanging out with friends or playing games with family. There is always a reason to drink. It's actually under contol a lot of the time, but many times(too many) it has escalated to a binge night. I've had 2 day drinking sessions without stopping. People recognize me all the time and I have clue who they are. It *****, I work at a dental office, and last week someone said they see me all over town often. I only go out when drinking, so I have no clue, and it's so embarrassing. I've done horrible drugs while drinking. Including crack!!! Ew. Good god. I am so fed up with the eradic behavior. My major car accident a couple years back, I met a guy at a party, and wanted to party more, wanted to go swimming to a remote place up in the bush at a lake, was fooling around while he was driving, then when for about 5 flips over a cliff.... It was a nightmare. Now if you knew me, you'd know that is very out of character for me. I am no ****, no easy person, I have long term relationships, but when I drink, I am different, careless. I don't know why I do it. I guess to "unwind" after work or whatever reason I have at the time, and it just escalates all to frequently. I don't mean to whine and sound like "whoa is me". But this has been eating me up. I have a counsellor who I see weekly, but I just need to tell my stories to more people. I feel lost with drinking. Even last night I went out with work friends, I arranged a dinner and bowling trip. I was uptight after work. Drank martinis, pitcher of beer, bottle of beer, 1/2 L of white wine in 6 hours while bowling. I know to some, that isn't all that much, but this was with work!!! Oh god, so embarrassing. I don't want my professional life to fall apart...
It seems worse the older I get. I'm turning 29 in may and my binging is just making me feel like a loser. I am a shy person with a reputation in my town as a drunk. One time I saw a guy I went to school with, and he was so angry with me. I was confused and asked why. I guess one time previous, he had a party at his house after a rock concert in my town(which I hardly remember as well) and he said I was breaking and throwing stuff!! I have absolutely no recollection and usually do even if I have no control myself, I ususally remember(as if I'm watching a movie...lol) I only assume I was drugged, or did some sort of crazy drug. It's just horrible. I have been to AA and find they don't quite work for me, actually I want to drink more after them. I have went to a meeting with women only b4(they were in-patients and it was a drop in meeting) it seemed to get to me in a good way, but I only went once... I have had suggested to me to go to a centre for a while, but I just can't. Mortgage and I'm single... So not working for me. I know there are always excuses tho...
Any suggestions as to where I go from here?? Love and light to you all...
It seems worse the older I get. I'm turning 29 in may and my binging is just making me feel like a loser. I am a shy person with a reputation in my town as a drunk. One time I saw a guy I went to school with, and he was so angry with me. I was confused and asked why. I guess one time previous, he had a party at his house after a rock concert in my town(which I hardly remember as well) and he said I was breaking and throwing stuff!! I have absolutely no recollection and usually do even if I have no control myself, I ususally remember(as if I'm watching a movie...lol) I only assume I was drugged, or did some sort of crazy drug. It's just horrible. I have been to AA and find they don't quite work for me, actually I want to drink more after them. I have went to a meeting with women only b4(they were in-patients and it was a drop in meeting) it seemed to get to me in a good way, but I only went once... I have had suggested to me to go to a centre for a while, but I just can't. Mortgage and I'm single... So not working for me. I know there are always excuses tho...
Any suggestions as to where I go from here?? Love and light to you all...
Everyone here is making some very good points and sharing valid experiences.
Not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic and not everyone who drinks heavily is an alcoholic either. Alcoholism is not defined by how much or how often you drink but rather when you continue to drink despite the drinking having negative consequences on your life.
You can be an alcoholic and still only drink socially and you can be a non-alcoholic who drinks more heavily than that. It's really up to you to see if the amount of drinking you do is having a negative effect on your life.
If you can have healthy relationships, fulfill all of your obligations, make and keep appointments, go to work, etc.. and do all of the things you need to do in life without drinking getting in the way then maybe you don't have a problem with it. However, once bad things start happening and you feel compelled to drink even when you know it's not a good idea it's time to start thinking about changing your lifestyle.
Personally I was drinking 3, 4, maybe 5 nights a week. Sometimes more. I'd tell myself "It's okay to drink tonight because I don't have anything to do in the morning." And then it became: "I can drink tonight if I stop by X because that'll give me enough time to be sober for tomorrow."
And so on and so on it went. I also had thoughts like: "I probably shouldn't drink tonight because of X, Y, Z..." And then rationalized that I could drink anyway because of some stupid, half-sensical point I was able to convince myself of.
And on it went. I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle so I decided it was time to stop drinking. At worst: I'm an alcoholic, at best: I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle, drinking heavily, and doing a lot of damage to my body.
There's really no upside to drinking heavily. Over time drinking heavily will have negative effects on almost every organ in your body. So even if you're a "responsible" drinker be mindful of how much you're drinking and the potential physical effects if nothing else.
If you can go out only occasionally and have a few drinks and not let your drinking get out of hand, if you really can "stop" whenever you want to then by all means do it and have fun. But be honest with yourself about it all. A lot of us have lied to ourselves and to others for years about how much we were drinking and how badly it was affecting us. That's why you see some stories on here about people drinking for 5, 10, 20+ years before realizing they needed to make a change and get help.
If it seems like we all assume anyone who comes in here has a problem it's only because, well...this IS an alcoholism forum. We see a lot of the pieces come together the same way we saw it in our own lives. Depression, rationalization, uncertainty, warning behaviors and cries for help like drinking every day, drinking every day, drinking on the way to and/or during therapy, pregnancy complications, going to therapy in general, etc... just to name a few that have been brought up in this thread alone. People who have a problem also tend to know or sense it before they're ready to admit it to themselves or to others. They'll seek out help or guidance indirectly.
"Sober" in recovery terms means a lifelong choice to abstain from drug and substance abuse. It doesn't mean just stopping or controlling the worst parts.
Sermon over. Point is: be honest with yourself about how much you drink and how/if that drinking is affecting your life. Only you can see and know if you're able to drink socially and responsibly or if it's having consequences and you need to cut it out of your life completely.
If it's the first one then congratultions, you're better off than most of us on here.
If it's the second one then it's time for some life changes.
Good luck and good health!
30 Days.
Not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic and not everyone who drinks heavily is an alcoholic either. Alcoholism is not defined by how much or how often you drink but rather when you continue to drink despite the drinking having negative consequences on your life.
You can be an alcoholic and still only drink socially and you can be a non-alcoholic who drinks more heavily than that. It's really up to you to see if the amount of drinking you do is having a negative effect on your life.
If you can have healthy relationships, fulfill all of your obligations, make and keep appointments, go to work, etc.. and do all of the things you need to do in life without drinking getting in the way then maybe you don't have a problem with it. However, once bad things start happening and you feel compelled to drink even when you know it's not a good idea it's time to start thinking about changing your lifestyle.
Personally I was drinking 3, 4, maybe 5 nights a week. Sometimes more. I'd tell myself "It's okay to drink tonight because I don't have anything to do in the morning." And then it became: "I can drink tonight if I stop by X because that'll give me enough time to be sober for tomorrow."
And so on and so on it went. I also had thoughts like: "I probably shouldn't drink tonight because of X, Y, Z..." And then rationalized that I could drink anyway because of some stupid, half-sensical point I was able to convince myself of.
And on it went. I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle so I decided it was time to stop drinking. At worst: I'm an alcoholic, at best: I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle, drinking heavily, and doing a lot of damage to my body.
There's really no upside to drinking heavily. Over time drinking heavily will have negative effects on almost every organ in your body. So even if you're a "responsible" drinker be mindful of how much you're drinking and the potential physical effects if nothing else.
If you can go out only occasionally and have a few drinks and not let your drinking get out of hand, if you really can "stop" whenever you want to then by all means do it and have fun. But be honest with yourself about it all. A lot of us have lied to ourselves and to others for years about how much we were drinking and how badly it was affecting us. That's why you see some stories on here about people drinking for 5, 10, 20+ years before realizing they needed to make a change and get help.
If it seems like we all assume anyone who comes in here has a problem it's only because, well...this IS an alcoholism forum. We see a lot of the pieces come together the same way we saw it in our own lives. Depression, rationalization, uncertainty, warning behaviors and cries for help like drinking every day, drinking every day, drinking on the way to and/or during therapy, pregnancy complications, going to therapy in general, etc... just to name a few that have been brought up in this thread alone. People who have a problem also tend to know or sense it before they're ready to admit it to themselves or to others. They'll seek out help or guidance indirectly.
"Sober" in recovery terms means a lifelong choice to abstain from drug and substance abuse. It doesn't mean just stopping or controlling the worst parts.
Sermon over. Point is: be honest with yourself about how much you drink and how/if that drinking is affecting your life. Only you can see and know if you're able to drink socially and responsibly or if it's having consequences and you need to cut it out of your life completely.
If it's the first one then congratultions, you're better off than most of us on here.
If it's the second one then it's time for some life changes.
Good luck and good health!
30 Days.
Yes, Ibizan is right about this.....the true nature of an alcoholic is someone who can no longer drink in a controlled manner. No matter how much we try to control, we end up in the same "mess" of excess, drunkenness, and blackouts. Much of this happens irregardless of the consequences in our lives. At this point....when you've finally had enough....you make a decision for complete sobriety. There's no other choice left.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yes dear....sober means a complete abscence of any type of alcohol or drug that you would choose to ingest.I am confused here.....do you have a child?or did you lose that child?Many of us here have tried controlled drinking...or better put what we rationalized to ourselves was controlled drinking....and we did not suceed at it.So we created ourselves neverending circular misery with it...and decided to surrender to the fact that we have an allergy to it......one seems to be never enough.I knew at 19 deep down in my soul that i was alcoholic/addict.....i FELT it.......but i told myself i'm too young to stop...all my friends party.....i like the feeling...ignoring my blackouts drunk driving and dual addiction to drugs.It was at age 28 that i surrendered after countless failed episodes of so-called controlled drinking/recreational haha drug use!
I am "Sorry" that You had to experience the addiction again and that it turned from drinking occasionally to escalating to the same before You had stopped.
Thank You for sharing that and I will be careful and mindful.
Thank You for sharing that and I will be careful and mindful.
I was drinking on a daily basis and am no longer drinking on a daily basis. I had complications with that pregnancy but I stopped drinking for the 5 months I was pregnant. I did not continue to drink occasionally until after the pregnancy. 'Are You saying that I have to completely stop drinking to be sober'?
I stopped drinking through both my pregnancies but then started socially drinking again after I had given birth and it didn't take too long for it to esculate to every day again,just be mindful of what your doing.
Denise
Denise
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