Aa
Husband in Alcohol Rehab and do not know where
I have been with my husband for 7 years, married for 4. We have went to several near death with his over drinking and several rehabs. He is not abusive to me..sweetest man you will ever meet. until he drinks..then i watch him stumble, fall, pee on himself, and pass out. This last time I left the house on Thanksgiving day due to his drunkeness and saying bad things to me..I ended up in the emergency room and hospital for 4 days with bleeding inside due to high blood pressure and stress..When I was in the hospital he had went on one of his destroying the house episodes, doing horrible things, throwing away my medicine, pictures, taking the mattress outside, before he left he cut the water hose and electirical hoses on the dryer and washing machine and flooded the house..He stayed in a hotel for 2 weeks and I told him he had to get help..just couldn't do this anymore. He called and said bye and I found out from his parents that he is in a rehab but he cant write or call..they want tell me where..I filed for divorce and it will be final in Feb..He will have no idea of the divorce..I miss him so much and I know that sounds bad, but we always had fun and did things until the drinking got heavy again. Im paying a lawyer and now I really feel guilty...His mom says let it go..but don't get a divorce..he can't work on a marriage until he works on himself..my thing is ..i need to talk to him before the divorce is final..just to see how he is doing..I am so confused..I do love him so much and miss him..Do I call off the Divorce and wait for him, do i go through with it and maybe down the road we can get back together..i just don't know what to do..
Best Answer
COMMUNITY LEADER
well pooh...the proof is in the pudding!this lady is in her late 40's and u were younger!AND.......u have shown that ur taking reponsibility for ur behavior.....i think u woulda let her know what inpatient facility u were in!its a common thing that a spouse will go to inpatient in a last ditch effort to save a marriage...the tangible part of it......but sometimes there is too much damage done and its not possible...at the present.If this man truly wants to save his marriage.......he will get sober and do the necessary recovery work all of us had to do here in order to live and take resposibilty for the damage we did.Let the divorce go thru.Sometimes ppl reconcile afterwards..but there is a lot of work that needs to be done on both parts...his has already been noted and hers....to stop the enabling and look at her part in the crazy dance of alcoholism.big cyberhug my bear!:)
Yall are all awesome..If i could I would give you a great big hug...so glad there are people out there that care
I agree with ibizan, he is in a sober environment, therefor he is atleast pointed in the right direction. I also think you'd be surprised, I'm sure he know's that that you are there for him and that you love him. Wheter he conciously knows it or not, he needs some alone time. This is new to him. It can be quite scary, I know I was terrified.
Yes, it is your life. Only you know what is right for you. Always remember that.
Yes, it is your life. Only you know what is right for you. Always remember that.
COMMUNITY LEADER
redbull and psychodog-takes a real man to admit his wrongs...cool...all one..we can do is not repeat them on a daily basis.sarah- we women have to do the same.....and rpoohbear-u always rock fuzzybutt!:)
COMMUNITY LEADER
U have a lot to think about...u have nudged him in2 a sober environment.....they will give him recovery tools and it is solely up to him to do w/them what he chooses.Yes off to Al-anon for u...the work has just begun!:)for both of u!
I thank you all for your advise..and i value it all...I think he is confused also and ashamed..I would just like to be able to let him know i am here for him..Yes he has done all this to me..but, the fact is..I love him. I have alot of praying and sole searching to do in the next month. because that is how long i have to call the divorce off..Trust me my family will hate me if i do that..but, it is my life..Right now..I am just going to not worry about it..back off, go to alanon, get stronger and we will see where God leads me. I am so glad i found this forum..you all have gave me alot to think about...God Bless all of you and I do believe I have saved his life and that makes me feel pretty good..
I would think that he is ashamed, and confused, and doesn't know what to do or what to expect right now. He isn't sure what or why is going through his mind right now. When I was where he was I just wanted everyone to leave me alone. You can't take it personally, then you are no good to him or yourself. This will be a tough time for him for a while, but if he really want's to do it he can. Heck, I didn't want to do it and I did.
I stand by my position that he needs a reality check, now. There were many times in the past that if you posed the "Does he not realize i did it because i love him" question to me, I would of said, in between drinks, "yeah, right, you love me so much you're dumping me", now that I'm sober I realize that's exactly why she was doing it, and not only do I love her more for it, but she also probobly saved my life.
I stand by my position that he needs a reality check, now. There were many times in the past that if you posed the "Does he not realize i did it because i love him" question to me, I would of said, in between drinks, "yeah, right, you love me so much you're dumping me", now that I'm sober I realize that's exactly why she was doing it, and not only do I love her more for it, but she also probobly saved my life.
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