Afraid to go to work

[alvaa]

My anxiety attacks always happen at my job. I called in today but I cannot keep doing this.

[Life360_Dave]

Nurse's advise it the best for you. I am only adding a few comments to try to minimize the stress at your work as we do need money. Your are a very special person in that you have empathy for your fellow workers as you say most of your bosses behavior is not at you. Ive had jobs like you and the word dreadfull really describes it. Is there any way that you can get your boss reported for treating you all this way? Is there human resources where a confidential complaint can be made. You dont have to be in fear at work. You have rights. No one is above the law. If you need your job and a boss is being unprofessional, something can be done. It is very frustrating to sit an watch abuse but something can be done.

[nursegirl6572]

I'm glad to hear the Klonopin is helping.  Sounds like your boss is a jerk, we've all been there, done that.  That's one of those things that is hard to predict about a job.  You could make a change, and get another boss who is equally as bad, if not worse.  Sounds like your career and actual job are something you like.

IMO, I don't think your job is causing the panic attacks, I think your anxiety is.  I've been there before.  Certainly, it never hurts to look for something better, or improve your circumstances, but you also have to be realistic.  Logistically, changing jobs doesn't sound like an option right now, and with your anxiety, it may actually cause MORE anxiety, starting something new and unfamiliar. Us people with anxiety don't usually do well in new situations.

I think your priority should be to keep working to manage your anxiety better, by going to therapy, taking your meds, etc.  Just you sticking it out at work will help to break that cycle of anticipatory anxiety about work, which often leads to more anxiety and panic.  When you get to a better place with the anxiety, then you can start looking around.

I think you're doing fine.  One day at a time....

[alvaa]

It usually isn't directed to me. He is just in a hyper or bad mood and this just makes the whole atmosphere dreadful.

[Life360_Dave]

It is interesting how you say less stress and your boss in on vacation. Is there a way you can change the behavior habits that you and your boss have with eachother?

[alvaa]

It's more my boss. He is just high strung and a typical IT manager, you know the kind. I love my job for the most part, we are just going through a lot of changes. We are a non-profit organization and we depend on government funding. I don't get paid well enough, so my check is week by week, however, with the economy, finding another job is sort of a mute point. I live in rural Alabama and I want to stay close to my 7 year old daughter. She is the biggest part of my life. Plus, I live with and take care of my elderly mother and I cannot move her away. Sure, I could probably get a job in Nashville or Atlanta where I would have to move 4 hours away but I cannot do that now.

On another note, I took the other half of my klonopin this morning just to be safe. Things seem much better today, all though my boss is on vacation for the rest of the week :) <--- might be why I am less stressed.

[nursegirl6572]

I do understand that, however, like I said, in most cases with paic attacks, the fear itself is irrational, meaning alvaa's job isn't causing the anxiety, the anxiety is a result of the panic attacks.  

Certainly only he would know for sure which is the case here.  Even if his job is somewhat stressful, it may not be the cause.  If a person had a super stressful job that started CAUSING severe anxiety and panic attacks, that's totally different.  

The fact that alvaa also deals with a decent amount of agoraphobia leads me to believe that the anxiety is the prime issue here.  He's evebn been ghaving troubke getting to therapy as a result.  That's textbook panic and agoraphobia.

I believe, with the OP, the anxiety issues came first.  Only a person with a history of recurring panic attacks would understand how that works.  For someone without that history, it's difficult for themn to understand why we would fear something that isn't anxiety-producing in and of itself.

It's a tricky situation and requires someone to really carefully evaluate what is what.  I still maintain that leaving his job right now would only solidify the panic.