Describe bad day and good day

[Beewoman]

I know this is an unusual request but could you describe a typical good day and a typical bad day?

I will start off with a typical good day:
Wake up and feel alright, nothing fantastic just "normalish"
Go to the gym
Talking with people around me and feeling "optimistic", almost buzzy with joy that I'm having a good day
After shower and shopping, call my friends
Prepare a great meal for the evening
Pick up kids and am very patient with everyone and the children seem very happy
Dinner, homework and baths go great
Husband comes home, I am very loving and attentive
Bed time and I review the day and think how lucky I am at how great I feel and think "this is it, it's gone"!

Now here's a typical bad day
Wake up with that all my nerve endings on fire, stomach churning, feel kind of shakey
Drag myself out of bed, what an effort to get dressed
Go through the motions of getting the kids ready for school
No gym
House seems desperately empty and I find myself missing the noise of the children
Time goes by too slowly, phone rings and it's friends leaving messages but I don't want to speak to anyone
My heart starts racing, perhaps there's something wrong with my heart?
Eat bad food, lots of carbs and sugar
Fall asleep on the sofa and pray for the day to end so I can go to bed
Pick up kids and get irritated with them, everything is an effort
Easy dinner
Bedtime at last, ready to fall asleep and forget about the day

Does this seem familiar to anyone?  Any tips on breaking the routine?

[caregiver222]

Every day above ground is a good day.

To live for today and love for tomorrow is the wisdom of a fool, because tomorrow is promised to no one.

[Beewoman]

Thanks so much for answering my thread.  I will take you up on your suggestions and try them out, they all seem very doable and believe me I will try anything to feel better and make a bad day into a good one.

I felt very bad for you when you say "I don't have friends".  Friends help you forget about your anxiety, even if they don't really "know" how you feel, they can sympathize with you and help by making you laugh.  Is there anyone you can talk with?  Remember that you have MedHelp and us here that can help at a distance!

Thanks for caring, good luck to you too!

[ForestAnimal]

I do have a little suggestion about the food... You said on bad days you eat bad foods... Try to eat some protein instead of sugars and carbs. Carbs will only make you feel worse on a bad day. Go have some steak, or chicken or whatever meat you like (if you eat meat). If not, grab some tofu. There are also some pills called StressTabs. I LOVE them. It's a special vitamin full of the specific nutrients your body uses too much of when you're stressed, so it makes you feel better. I find that it really enhances my good days and gives me a boost of energy/awareness. My bad days and sleep problems are mainly caused from my anxiety, and my meds don't do a good job of taking care of it. On the StressTabs, there are two kinds that I've found: one for mental clarity with extra copper and zinc, and one for energy with a blend of three energizing amino acids. They can't hurt, and neither can some protein and veggies. Also, you say you feel lonely and miss the noise of your children. Maybe you could go out with some friends while they're away at school and go see a movie or do something fun? I don't have friends, but if I had a car, I'd leave the house everyday to do something. When I'm shut up in the house and it's lonely, I feel pretty down and irritable. Find something you like to do, and go do it! Then come home for your kids and see if it helped. Also, if you like dogs, you can rescue one from a shelter. (assuming you like dogs or cats or some kind of animal...) Dogs help me cheer up and keep me company. Plus, they can make you laugh when you least expect it. I'm sure the kids would have fun with one too. An older dog is better if you want past all of the puppy drama and don't have as much time on your hands. I'm just trying to think of anything at all that could help. Good luck to you!

[ForestAnimal]

We all have our ups and downs... some more extreme than others. A good day and a bad day depend on the individual. I have some pretty stark differences in my daily life too. Some of what you mentioned sounds familiar. If you figure out how to break the cycle, let me know! Right now it's the middle of the night and I'm having a bad day, so I'll describe my typical good and bad days because it brings a little relief. This might be a little long...

my good days:
I wake up in the morning
It's sunny outside (normally I hate the sun, but it's good for photography)
I get out of bed, go pee, put some clothes on and my boots, take my meds
I put a backpack on my German Shepherd, make sure my camera battery is charged
I go hiking with Titan (my shepherd) in the woods
I get a few good photographs that I'm proud of
I run, jump over clay cliffs and around the big clay formations getting dirty and tiring my dog
I let Titan have a swim in the creek nearby and I have him retrieve sticks
We go back home after a few hours and it's about noon
I plug my cam into the computer and pick out the good photos, post them online, and get nice comments about them (hopefully lol)
My boyfriend comes over
We take Titan, my mother's Mini Schnauzer, and his Boxer to the dog park and enjoy watching them have fun
We pop something in the microwave for dinner, or my boyfriend cooks me something
We go to the park and let Titan have more fun in the water by the bay, and I get a lot of complements about him (makes me feel good)
My boyfriend and I go back to my place and "get busy"
On a REALLY good day, it starts storming (I love storms and they make me happy so long as no damage is done)
We spend the evening talking, giving massages to each other, and watching some TV
He goes home and I go upstairs to visit with my mother and watch TV with her/play with the dogs
I try to feed my old blind Leopard Gecko (11 years old) and she eats this time, all of my pets are doing well (I have a lot of other pets)
I go to bed feeling pretty satisfied with my day, and my pup is tired too

my bad days:
I can't sleep all night even though I had a normal sleep routine the night before
I go to college and I have class that day, so...
I finally get to sleep around 5:30am
I have to wake up at 6:45am
I drag myself out of bed, put some clothes on, feed Titan, take my meds
My boyfriend calls me to say that he and his parents are coming to pick me up (we don't have cars)
They pick me up and drop us off at a public transportation bus stop
The bus comes at 7:20am and it's a short bus... so the thing is pretty full, and my boyfriend and I can't sit together
I have very bad social anxiety, so the entire time I'm sitting beside a stranger during the ride, I can't stand it and I want to get out
We arrive in the city and go wait in Subway
I'm hungry, don't have money for a sub, and have to smell the wonderful food
Then the next bus comes
It costs 75 cents for students. I have a dollar and the machine won't give me my change
The bus has seats that face forward like normal, and seats that face sideways... all of the forward seats are taken, so I have to sit sideways which hurts my back because of the sideways stop/go action on my bulging lumbar disc
The bus is full of stinky hobos (literally)
More stinky hobos get on the noisy bus and I have to ride with them for an hour along with my painful lower back
I wish my boyfriend and I had cars, or that at least our parents would be willing to drive us to class instead of having to go through bus hell
Finally we arrive to the university
I have a headache from the noise and feel disgusting from all of the people who don't know what a shower is and probably haven't had one in at least a month
Everything my boyfriend does irritates the living **** out of me and we start to fight about all things big and small (right down to him shuffling his feet)
I start to crash before my first class because of the sleep deprivation, so I find a way to get some Coca Cola
It doesn't wake me up enough and my social anxiety starts to kick in (classrooms are full of people)
My heart rate soars to 150+ and I start "tripping" and feeling nauseous
I HAVE to go to sleep right then... my body is shutting itself down against my will
I find a public couch in the university lounge to sleep on... once again feeling disgusting, and using my backpack as a pillow, I go to sleep
I am repeatedly awakened by the sound of construction and drilling in the building
Before I know it, my boyfriend comes back after he went to class, and tries to get me up so we can go home
I feel sick/dizzy/sleep deprived and hungry, but I'm able to get up to go catch another hour long smelly hobo laden noisy bus ride
My boyfriend's father picks us up before we have to catch the second bus, and he drops me off at home because I need to go back to sleep
I get home, feed the dog, and try to go to sleep, but my dog hasn't had his walk, so he just wants to play and make a bunch of noise, plus he's happy I'm home (he's still a puppy)
I finally get some sleep at about 3:30pm
I wake up around 11:30pm feeling horrible, irritated, and surreal
My boyfriend is still asleep and can't come over and my mother has gone to bed too
I take Titan for a midnight walk around the subdivision for 1-2 hours
I come back and stay up all night on the computer... bored and lonely, and wishing I felt like picking up my hobbies again (drawing, writing music, etc.)... but I'm just too depressed on nights like these
I try to feed my blind Leopard Gecko, but she won't eat
My mother gets up (about 3am) and we end up fighting
I want to go back to sleep but can't for a while because I'm stressed about missing class (which just makes more social anxiety and I repeat the process... so it gets worse and worse)
I end up going to sleep again around 6 or 7am when I'm exhausted

I also have days that aren't class days... Luckily I only have class 2 days a week.