Gosh, this is hard. You were taking drugs that are not meant for long term anxiety control. What about an SSRI? Or SNRI? Is your doctor managing your care as you wean off the Xanax and other medications? Those are addicting. You will receive great help and care if you visit the medhelp Addiction/Substance Abuse forum. Here's a link: https://
www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/show/77
They may help you with withdrawing from long term Xanax use.
Do you do therapy with a psychologist? See a psychiatrist? What other things do you do to help control the anxiety? We are here to help in any way we can!