Going Crazy?

[miaraesmom]

A few month back experienced random chest heaviness, mostly driving to work.
As recent as memorial day, I found myself packing up for husband and toddler for a week at our beach cottage.  Taking stuff down early to make the journey a bit easier.  4 weeks prior to Memorial Day weekend, I was seeing a doctor for what seemed to be some type of ear infection - I told them I was dizzy, some ear pain, felt faint and was prescribed 3 different antibiotics over the course of 3 weeks - nothing seemed to work.  Back to Memorial Day, where I found myself alone 35 miles from home pre-unpacking for the vacation.  Suddlenly, I became very dizzy, felt like someone was sitting on my chest, and began shaking.  Didn't know whether to call for an ambulance or not.  After an hour and talking with husband by phone, decided to drive home - where I had to stop the car two more times as the symptoms reoccured.  Husband called the doc, and got me fit in.  Doc prescribed prednisone for ear, and told me that it sounded like I was having a panic attack, also gave xanax.  First time for either drug.
During vacation week, I became overly emotional, called doc, and he increased the dose of xanax thinking prednisone was counteracting.  Doc referred me to ENT.  Initial testing found normal results.  Going back next week for further testing to rule the Ear out.  Also set up for an MRI tomorrow to rule out a "tumor"??
Decided in between to seek mental health specialist.  Husband being in the field, referred me to someone he knew and respected for an initial consultation.  Psychologist saw me for free as favor to husband, and immediately administerd an MMPI test of 500+ Q & A.  The following week the results were shared - good lord was I shocked, but then again not so shocked after I took it all in.  It showed signs of Anxiety, Anger, Depression and Identy issues.  So now I'm angry that I'm angry, right?  
The doc, could not take me on as a FT patient, as this was a favor, but made a strong recommendation for another in the field in our area.  Consulted with new doc yesterday, lots of Q & A, and therapy will start next week.
I can't begin to describe how crazy I feel everyday.  I dread the thought of the daily attacks that seem to occur around the same time, which I think is odd, as there is nothing at that time that I believe makes me anxious etc...
I feel in a fog, sometimes blurred vision, low concentration, lightheaded - not fun.  I am struggling to feel normal, so I look forward to tomorrows MRI, next weeks ENT final results and finally facing the realities of what is going on.
Any thoughts, feedback, similar symptoms and support are welcomed.  

[miaraesmom]

Thank you so much for the support and advice.  A good friend who was also diagnosed with GAD and Panic, shared with me a thought from his therapist which I've taken to heart as I begin therapy "if nothing changes, nothing changes"  meaning even if you give someone a hug a little longer, or take a walk down a path  you've never taken - try thinking of different things to do or change, and it doesn't have to be big.  Strange how diverting your mind from worry to anticipating that change helps.  Also, looking forward to starting  up Yoga again after 3 years of non-practice.  There must be some benefits there too.

Keep in touch with me, I really appreciate the feedback.

[silverberg]

Really good that you are seeking help with a mental health professional also that you are getting test done to R/O anything else. From what you write this is Anxiety/Panic! I always tell "new" people read the post here (but remember we are all different so just because john doe gets PA in stores, does not mean you will to).

As for the "time of day"  when these feelings come, I really need to let you know, this is not from the INITIAL PANIC!! this is your body and mind (you may not realize it) but anticipating when will the next one happen). NOW THIS IS THE CYCLE YOU WANT TO WORK ON FROM THE START. one you are starting to see a Dr. good, but try for acouple of days not looking at a clock if you can, you may be surprised to find them feeling don't know when to come! (this is us anticipating) like going on a rollor coaster the scary part is not going down, it's wondering how long it's gonna take to get to the top (we build ourselves up) it's our bodies way to protect.

Also try talk therapy, (this may seem silly at first) but tell yourself SO WHAT, what I am feeling will pass, I have been through this before. joke about it to yourself!

it's hard but don't fight the feelings allow them to come and go!

you will read on here of people who suffer from PA for years and you will also read of people who may just need to deal with some issues and they move on with thier lives!

remember it's facing that fear (that's all PA is about) as for the xanax, you hold on to it, only use it , if you feel panic coming on. xanax is to help relieve the nasty feeling of PA and it works FAST!! but it also is a addictive drug, but remember you need it right now and you will be ok. please keep posting and allow the people here to share with you, you have some great support here!