Tara, I feel your pain!!! I have been in the house with my two teenage sons for weeks. And it makes my anxiety worse too. And depression seems to come in and out. I wonder about the unintended effect on our mental health this all will have!
I am so sorry about your sister. I have one sister and we are close. I'll be utterly heartbroken when our time comes and if she goes first. She's 5 years older than me so I know that is likely. So hard, I can only imagine your pain from that. Was it sudden or had she been ill?
Health anxiety. Let me say that many of us have it and a global pandemic is going to make that far worse. My blood pressure tends to creep up here and there as I'm genetically prone to hypertension but otherwise, I probably don't have anything pre existing. But I ask myself if maybe I do and just don't know it! I'm not young. I'm not in great shape. Who knows how I'd respond?!
However I also know that the at risk people they are talking about are NOT me. Even with a bit of elevated bp. The vulnerable are not people just with conditions but people in the severe category that aren't managed well. Logically I know this. but you know . . . the anxiety.
And if I get hot, I'm checking for fever. If I cough, I think "oh no". Our mind just goes there.
The klonopin at night time is to help you sleep? does it help? And is the lexapro helping? Always touch base with your doctor if it's not. They can adjust the dosage. What about therapy? Virtual therapy is an option now. I had a session myself and we went over some ways to relax my mind. I am using the 'calm' app to self soothe. I am trying to make a list of things I'd like to accomplish each day and it is a good feeling to cross something off the list. I put everything on it. "water plant". So small but I still did it. Crossing it off the list makes me feel like I got credit for it. ha. And like I have a purpose.
We need to be kind to ourselves right now. I give myself permission to indulge in things that I don't as much when stuck in the daily grind.
Anyway, I'm here to talk!
I'd be careful about taking Klonopin on a daily basis. I'd only take it as needed. If you take it this way it is an addictive drug and very very hard to stop taking. It's also not a great sleep aid, as you will again become dependent on it but your insomnia will still be there. So will your anxiety. Some people do have severe chronic anxiety and nothing else works but benzos and so they take them daily and do what they have to do, but that's probably not you at this point. I dread the day many many years ago I was put on this drug, which was very common at one time, twice a day. I'll be on in until I die. So only do that when you have to. Use it when it gets really bad, but not otherwise. Try breathing exercises, get your exercise in one way or the other, learn how to meditate. lf you do need meds, while antidepressants are no picnic they do work all the time when they work whereas benzos only work for a period of time. I think what you're going through is pretty common right now, and this site has a forum for corona virus and if you look at it you'll see it's the most active site right now on this forum. It's probably a good idea if we all got tested, but that's probably not going to happen any time soon. In normal times I'd tell you obsessive checking of BP and temp is a sign of anxiety but in normal times I'd also tell you to see your doc and make sure you don't have anything and that's not necessarily possible right now depending on where you live. But worrying yourself to death over it just makes it two problems rather than one. Do you have a therapist you can contact by computer or telephone? I believe there are doctors working that way as well now who can tell you if you have any legitimate concerns, though you're not describing covid, the temp from that if you have it is constant for days on end. When real stuff happens, us anxiety sufferers get a double whammy and it's not fair. What you're describing. again, isn't a fever and certainly not a covid fever. But nobody can tell any of us one way or another, most people who get it have virtually no symptoms. Here's something to try, it's hard but try it -- don't take your temp or your bp for two days. Just two days. See if you feel better. In the meantime, again, if you have a therapist from your history of anxiety, see if you can contact by phone or computer if you need to do that. Others will offer support, you can be sure of that. We're here with you. Peace.