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1353681 tn?1387083733

How to feel capable amidst excessive anxiety???

I grew up with chaos and severe criticism. Threats and mocking me. I realize my parent had rage issues and needed meds really but they did not think how their treatment  would affect me. They are Narcissistic times 10. I have severe self doubt now and can barely work. I question everything I say or do because  for years I was Always wrong. It wreaked havoc on my sense of self. I am trying to get my own apartment but fear what if I miss rent sometimes due to my anxiety?  What if I cant live alone? I feel so inept and it has been really depressing me. Yet I was a college honors graduate years ago. I was very responsible  in several jobs. But anxiety spirals over the years. How can I take control to obtain a SELF??????
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973741 tn?1342342773
Gosh, at this point, I've almost dedicated my whole life to understanding mental health. I'd put a laugh emoji but it isn't funny. From previous professional involvement in the field, to my own issues over the years to my son having a mental health spiral of monumental proportions to the point of hospital inpatient stays. Our brain. Sigh.  Anxiety is often our brain practicing worst case scenario. Over and over. With no solutions. We've found that breaking the pattern of thoughts is really a good way to disrupt the anxiety. Little ways at first. CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on how we think. Reframing is a phrase used. Which is basically taking the same thing and looking at it from another angle. A more positive angle. Knowing when you are making everything ALL BAD. Our brain gets tunnel vision and at certain times, it seems all bad when it's not really. Knowing that thoughts aren't facts. Feelings aren't reliable. Journal to find patterns of thought and to 'get it out'. I'm a fan of meditating now. lol.  But when you are trying to sleep and thoughts are going crazy, if you say four lines over and over "let me be healthy. let me be happy. let me have love. let me have peace.'  or switch it to "i will be healthy, i will be happy, i will have love, i will have peace.".  As you go to sleep, it drowns out thoughts if you stay with it. And you go to sleep with those four things on your mind.  Exercise is really helpful. Get a spiral going? Do some jumping jacks, wall push ups, run in place vigorously. Drink an ice cold glass of water or put ice cold water on your wrist or neck or forehead. These are neurological resets. Make 1 percent changes as that is not overwhelming and leads to progress. Do you practice breathing? This is known to slow down the amygdala fight or flight response which is often caused by anxiety. It's science. I never really understood this until I saw it in action. And when you are stressed, your body is flooded with cortisol. I'm so happy to talk more about it with you if you think it would help. I live and breath this stuff with my son at this point and we see improvement.  
Helpful - 1
973741 tn?1342342773
Hi calmshell.  Just wanted to check in!  It's holiday time. An increase of stress and family stuff seems to amplify either in real life or in memory. So wanted to see how you are doing, friend.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think it is better for you to consult a psychotherapist, he will recommend some sedatives or a course of psychotherapy. A good friend of mine has the same high anxiety as you, so she was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, but I don't remember what the therapist prescribed for her
Helpful - 0
Sedatives, in general, aren't great for the disorder. Classes of drugs like SSRI's and SNRI's do a good job without the down side you get from sedatives. Just fyi.
Avatar universal
Therapy or self help groups  might help or just read some books about what you feel is the biggest anxiety issue you face.
Helpful - 0
Hi Anxiousno more. I have read many books on anxiety and they do help a little..but none have been able to really squash my self doubt and my low self worth.
Maybe therapy is a good option at this point. Sometimes it takes someone removed from the problem to get a clear picture of how to deal with it.
Thank you..I just began therapy again so I really  hope we can find some healing to these severe anxieties. Thanks again.

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Avatar universal
Arlington, VA
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Arlington, WA
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