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Fear/paranoia-based Insomnia. Instantaneous anxiety at mention of "bedtime".
About a year ago, I got the Implanon birth control arm implant. I've never responded well to birth control of any kind, and this was no exception. About a month-in to having the implant, I started suffering from extreme paranoia, anxiety, and panic attacks. While on Implanon, I found that the anxiety would be at it's pinnacle just before bed, and that the act of laying in bed before sleep came - with nothing to distract me or interact with - caused me to daydream all sorts of worst-case scenarios and personal horror stories.
I had the implant removed after 8 months of terror. However, for lack of a better term, it seems my mind has formed a "Pavlov's dog" response to BEDTIME. It's become habitual, even without the horrid drugs. So now, whenever someone mentions going to bed, I become scared, my heart starts beating really fast, and all of those horrible thoughts I had back in my implanon-days are instantly triggered. I try not to talk about "bedtime", or say the word "bedtime". I try to make the decision to go to bed as random and thoughtless as possible, but I still find that most nights, it's inescapable. It's caused me to have TERRIBLE insomnia, as I will fight sleep until I am border-line hysterical to keep from having to go to my bed. The thought of "going to bed" scares me. Naps are okay. I find I can easily fall asleep in random places as long as no one talks about sleep first, and it happens randomly on it's own (like accidentally nodding off while watching TV on the couch). This evening is a prime example of my condition. I was dead-tired at 11pm, and had full intentions on hitting the hay for the evening until my husband said, very innocently, "you should come to bed WITH me, instead of staying up way after me..." And as soon as he said, "come to bed with me..." I was launched into anxiety. It's as if he had said, "You're going to be murdered." As a result, I've stayed up until 4 am. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to break this. I need help. We moved recently, and even getting a "new" bedroom hasn't helped. And it's not so much the bed or bedroom specifically that scares me either...it's the culmination of it being dark, and the finality of "bedtime" specifically, the fear of my mind having nothing to pre-occupy it just before I drift off. I can't do this anymore. What do I do?
I had the implant removed after 8 months of terror. However, for lack of a better term, it seems my mind has formed a "Pavlov's dog" response to BEDTIME. It's become habitual, even without the horrid drugs. So now, whenever someone mentions going to bed, I become scared, my heart starts beating really fast, and all of those horrible thoughts I had back in my implanon-days are instantly triggered. I try not to talk about "bedtime", or say the word "bedtime". I try to make the decision to go to bed as random and thoughtless as possible, but I still find that most nights, it's inescapable. It's caused me to have TERRIBLE insomnia, as I will fight sleep until I am border-line hysterical to keep from having to go to my bed. The thought of "going to bed" scares me. Naps are okay. I find I can easily fall asleep in random places as long as no one talks about sleep first, and it happens randomly on it's own (like accidentally nodding off while watching TV on the couch). This evening is a prime example of my condition. I was dead-tired at 11pm, and had full intentions on hitting the hay for the evening until my husband said, very innocently, "you should come to bed WITH me, instead of staying up way after me..." And as soon as he said, "come to bed with me..." I was launched into anxiety. It's as if he had said, "You're going to be murdered." As a result, I've stayed up until 4 am. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to break this. I need help. We moved recently, and even getting a "new" bedroom hasn't helped. And it's not so much the bed or bedroom specifically that scares me either...it's the culmination of it being dark, and the finality of "bedtime" specifically, the fear of my mind having nothing to pre-occupy it just before I drift off. I can't do this anymore. What do I do?
P.S: I did find out, after some quick-research, and a talk with my OBGYN, that suffering from anxiety while on Implanon is a semi-common side-effect, and I didn't have the problem BEFORE Implanon, so in case anyone is questioning the connection, I really DO feel like this was the initial "starter" of the problem.
Hi there,
I know you posted this a while ago, but I just wondered if you're still suffering? It's a very similar situation to mine I can tell you, and even though I hope you have found some relief it's comforting to know that someone else has been through the same hell.
I can talk more about the things that have helped me if you like?
x
I know you posted this a while ago, but I just wondered if you're still suffering? It's a very similar situation to mine I can tell you, and even though I hope you have found some relief it's comforting to know that someone else has been through the same hell.
I can talk more about the things that have helped me if you like?
x
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