Im baaaack!

[CanuckGuy42]

Hi all.. I was an active member on this board back in 2011 when I started my adventures with SSRI's for anxiety - namely Cipralex (Lexapro for my American friends)... In 2012 I felt like he stressors that had me turn to SSRI's had been considerable reduced or eliminated so in July 2012 I weened myself off it after being on Lexapro 15 mgs daily for a year. That process went well and all seemed good going forward.

Here I am one year later with a new set of stressors and all the physical symptoms of anxiety that I recognize oh so well from last time have returned and I am about to go back on Cipralex again.

Has anyone every started an SSRI, gotten off it and then found themselves back on it again? Is the ramp up period different when you go back on it a second time? The 6 weeks ramp up I had last time was tough (I chronicled it daily on this board and almost quit several times) but I stuck it out and everyone was right... everything levelled off. Just wondering if my body will recognize it again and it will be less intense.

[CanuckGuy42]

Day 15 - Yesterday felt edgey pretty much the whole day. Tried driving on the highway and felt a panic attack coming on (see above). Went to the gym and then pretty much spent the whole day with that "I drank too much coffee" feeling. Last night I took my first pill of Lorazapam .5 mg just to see how it would affect me and if it would take the "edge" off. All it really did was make me super tired and I went to sleep and slept for an extra hour more than normal.

Without pinning myself to a timetable, because I know you can't do that with your body, if last time was any indication I have a couple more weeks of this until I "turn the corner" on this ramp up.... in the meantime just have to accept where I am and not let it cripple me in my ability to do my day to day things.

My plan is to go up to my script dose this weekend of 15 mg.

[CanuckGuy42]

I hear you but its more than just a little uncomfortable.

I get dizzy and lightheaded, heart starts racing and at that point I am sure my response mechanisms are impacted and therefore I do feel as though it is dangerous. I know I am causing it by worrying about it happening and by tensing up and likely shallow breathing while I am driving.

But when I am on side streets I am generally fine because I know in the back of my mind at any point I can get off.

I also know this is being amplified because I am in the middle of my typical 4 week ramp up on Lexapro during which time my anxiety symptoms are increased. I am trusting once I start to level off this issue will become a non issue. In the meantime, I do feel I should avoid it (I know its giving in but I honestly don't have confidence that when it happens I can keep myself safe on the highway.

It's ridiculous in a way because I have driven these highways every morning and afternoon for over a year with no problem at all.

Anyway.. thanks JG you are absolutely right in what you are saying. And again, because this is my 2nd time at the table I know that and I know this will just be a temporary thing.. that helps big time.

[JGF25]

I have had panic attacks while driving.  I do my controlled breathing and I actually self-coach with "Bring it on...I can handle it."  What I absolutely do not do is avoid.  If it happens on the highway, I'm driving on the highway otherwise you are giving into the anxiety.  The times you did panic you were uncomfortable right?  You didn't wreck your car or anything like that.  Just a little uncomfortable....Bring it on because you can handle it.  With that attitude, it usually doesn't come because the fear has been taken out of the thought.  

[CanuckGuy42]

Sorry I meant no jitters or lightheadedness in the previous post

[CanuckGuy42]

Day 13/14 - Had a great day yesterday, just relaxed around the house did laundry and didn't do much else. Felt really at ease now jitters or lightheadedness.  However this morning, Day 14, I was jittery when I woke up and I think it has to do with driving to work. This whole thing re-started by having a panic attack while driving on the highway in the car. This morning I decided to try the highway again (I had been taking side streets since it happened) and I started out ok but about 10-15 mins into it I started to feel it coming on again. Seems to happen when I hit a certain speed (100kms an hour or more) and I get this sense that takes over my whole body. I managed to stop it from proceeding to a level that would have me have to stop and pull over like last time but it is very scarey and uncomfortable.... so its back to side streets for me where it doesnt seem to happen. I guess because I know I can get off anytime if something went wonky whereas far more difficult on a 8 lane highway.

Anyway, hoping this eventually subsides cause trying to get around a city of 6.5 million people and not using highways is not easy. And it only happens when I am driving... when I am in the passenger seat in the front ...nothing... I feel totally fine.

I was thinking I should take the Lorazapam in the morning before I drive but I don't know if it would make me too drousy. Also not a good situation to be in when driving. I am going to take one tonight just to see the effect it has on me.

So strange how this anxiety manifests itself each time.. last time was health anxiety this time it rears its ugly head when I am in the car.

Come on Lexapro.... need you to kick in soon! (I know I still have another two weeks to go but I just thought I would say that)

[CanuckGuy42]

Day 12 - Switched the Lexapro to noon and it seemed to work much better for me yesterday morning so today going to take it at 3 PM and then tomorrow at 6. Doesnt seem to affect my ability to sleep... actually sleeping much better than I thought.