Im baaaack!

[CanuckGuy42]

Hi all.. I was an active member on this board back in 2011 when I started my adventures with SSRI's for anxiety - namely Cipralex (Lexapro for my American friends)... In 2012 I felt like he stressors that had me turn to SSRI's had been considerable reduced or eliminated so in July 2012 I weened myself off it after being on Lexapro 15 mgs daily for a year. That process went well and all seemed good going forward.

Here I am one year later with a new set of stressors and all the physical symptoms of anxiety that I recognize oh so well from last time have returned and I am about to go back on Cipralex again.

Has anyone every started an SSRI, gotten off it and then found themselves back on it again? Is the ramp up period different when you go back on it a second time? The 6 weeks ramp up I had last time was tough (I chronicled it daily on this board and almost quit several times) but I stuck it out and everyone was right... everything levelled off. Just wondering if my body will recognize it again and it will be less intense.

[JGF25]

I chopped bamboo when I was edgy!  Got any bamboo around?  Sounds like you are doing well.  And count me in with the on meds, off meds, and back on meds and planning to stay on them for the rest of my life if possible.  I like myself much better on meds and I'm sure my family and friends do too!  

[CanuckGuy42]

DAY 4 - Woke up today feeling pretty great.

Of course a bit edgey still but had a massage yesterday and i don't know what they did but the dizziness is pretty much gone. Best guess, the anxiety was causing my muscles in my neck and back to stiffen up so much that it was causing pressure on the muscle tissues in my head and therefore triggering dizziness. Who knows.. but whatever he did it worked... going for one more tomorrow. The weekend is here and the weather is great here in Toronto, Canada... so all is good!

And just as a final comparitive note.. when I did this last time 2011 I didn't make it past day 3 on 5 mgs of Lexapro without having to scale it back to 2.5 and ramp up super slowly. This time definitely not as bad and haven't had to reach once for my Lorazapam.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[CanuckGuy42]

DAY 3 - Definitely felt the edginess all day yesterday.

But again, it was familiar so I didn't let it bother me as much but physically it was definitely there. Best way to describe it - felt like I drank 20 coffees (which I am only guessing because I have never done that!) ...

Anyway if you are just starting Lexapro or another SSRI and reading this and going through the same thing with the initial side effects - DONT FREAK OUT! .... sorry I can't say that enough.. because I did the first time I did this two years ago and it made everything 10 times worse. They DO go away once your body says "ok I get it.. you're gonna keep taking these... alright alright.. I will let it in"..

Anyway I will go to the gym this morning and work off some of this excess energy as a result of this.

[CanuckGuy42]

I agree with nursegirl that I believe it is a little bit of everything. But had you told me this two years ago when I was just starting this medication for the first time it would have fueled my fire to stop it and never give it a try for fear of becoming dependant on it for the rest of my life. And I believe this is a concern that plagues many people starting this form of treatment. Now, however, I feel completely different about it. People take medication everyday to regulate and control of plethora of physical issues like cholesterol, heart conditions, diabetes, etc and they do it without any guilt at all. Why should this be any different? The Answer... it shouldn't. There are so many people who suffer through anxiety and depression and are terrified of medication because it is an admission that they can't dig themselves out of it by themselves....I was one of them... but now I ask myself can you dig yourself out of diabetes by yourself??? Can you say "screw those pills, I'm going to control my arrythmia by myself".... If you need medication to "center" your emotional reaction to issues so you have a clear head to address them in whatever way you need to address them... then you should pursue that treatment. And if you go off and go back on again... in my book its ok.... life isn't a flat line.. there will be peaks and valleys...

[Paxiled]

You thing you're sorry, me too.  Although I do believe therapy or spiritual help or whatever is the cure if there is one, nothing ever helped me either except meds, and they didn't solve anything, just made it a little more liveable.  But given what I've been through, I'd stay on that darned Paxil!  Of course, i never intended to necessarily stay off meds, I was just going to experiment and go back on if it didn't work.  All for my writing.  Now I can't write at all.  What you don't know can hurt you, eh?

[nursegirl6572]

Good post.

I actually think it's a little bit of all of them, personally....and probably varies from person to person, depending on the amount of work they put in (or not), etc.

I know my panic/anxiety is very cyclic, and I also know that within a few short months of coming off meds each time, my panic returned, often times worse than where it started at.  

Actually, in my case, I'd say that the LEAST likely contributing factor for me was the lack of treatment.  Despite working VERY hard, learning all I could, and pouring myself into getting better, I had a reemergence of my panic each time.   Either the return of the anxiety was severe enough that my normal coping mechanisms just weren't cutting it anymore, or, like you said, I couldn't function without the meds.  Everything I did to control anxious moments while ON the meds was FAR less effective off the meds, without a doubt.

I haven't been on a med (other than an occasional PRN Ativan) for many years, and I haven't done too horribly bad.  I haven't done too horribly well either.  I can say, with confidence, that my anxiety was MUCH better controlled while on meds.  I manage, and I do my best, but I notice a difference for sure.  

For the reasons you mention, and because SO many people find themselves right back where they started (or worse), I always encourage people who post wanting to come off their meds to REALLY give it some thought.  

I honest to God wish I had NEVER gone off the Zoloft I went off to begin with.  And, lol, think I would have learned my lesson, I didn't, I did the same thing with my Lexapro a few years later.  Dumb me!  Every time I see someone post "I want to go off my X med, to see how I do", I cringe and think, "See you in a few months".  Really stinks!!