Aa
Is this an anti choice site. I notice none has had abortion. for any anxiety disorders
I've been read this site and it seems as though everyone is religious. I am not. do i fit in here. I had an abortion in my youth. I had extreme panic ocd and depression and was taking valium. i made some tough choices. this website has made me feel alone.
you know that really isn't a nice thing to say.... Pro-death!! US AS WOMEN HAVE A RIGHT TO DO AS WE PLEASE WITH OUR BODIES...AND TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR BOTH OUR LIVES AND THOSE THAT COULD SUFFER IF WE BROUGHT THEM INTO THE WORLD..... IT'S NOT PRO-DEATH.... IT'S DOING WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ALL CONCERNED.... but you wouldn't understand that cause you are a mere MAN
Must be the Amish view. The weird beards and funny hats that live like it was a thousand years ago.
Michelle, you wrote:
"and I knew that it would be immoral to let a fetus grow inside me ,knowing I was going to abort"
" After the abortion I was greatly relieved .no guilt or sadness, I could work on geeting well and leave him."
Well, you summed it all up with these sentences I think.
And like Julie says more people should really THINK before they bring children into this world. It's the most important work and responsibility of all to bring a child up, and even the idea of it should NEVER be taken lightly.
Nora
I have to admit i am a christian and i hold strong views on religion but i am sorry that the people you have come across have rubbed this in your face cause i think this approach is wrong and just pushes people away.... i don't believe in this. Each person holds their own morals and values and who is another to push their views on you.
When you made the decision to have your Abortion you must of done this for a VERY GOOD reason. Please please don't forget why you decided that a baby at that time was not the right time for you. I myself have had an abortion and from time to time i wonder 'what if', but then i remember why i did it and i focus on this. It is an extremely hard decision to of made and these people who are anti-abortion really don't help the situation for many of women who are or have been in your situation.
You didn't murder your child, women who abort don't murder their children..... really think about this, these anti-abortionists don't take into consideration that bringing ALL children conceived into the world may just cause alot more pain, suffering and torment for everyone in the situation.... forget them!!!! don't let it shake you.... they hold their views and we holds ours......
When you made the decision to have your Abortion you must of done this for a VERY GOOD reason. Please please don't forget why you decided that a baby at that time was not the right time for you. I myself have had an abortion and from time to time i wonder 'what if', but then i remember why i did it and i focus on this. It is an extremely hard decision to of made and these people who are anti-abortion really don't help the situation for many of women who are or have been in your situation.
You didn't murder your child, women who abort don't murder their children..... really think about this, these anti-abortionists don't take into consideration that bringing ALL children conceived into the world may just cause alot more pain, suffering and torment for everyone in the situation.... forget them!!!! don't let it shake you.... they hold their views and we holds ours......
I sighned Michelle my name i,nstead of chelley_1 on my very long post acouple of minutes ago.
Thanks for all your support. Nora you are right in Nortern and western europe this is not such a controversal issue, canada also it is not. I just wanted ro clarify a little bit more because someone was confused about whether I have ocd. I do .I have mostly obsessions with mental ritulas and some physical. one of my rituals is needing reassurance and checking the internet. I realize that the internet is full o f anti choice sites. all the best docs have diagnosed me. when I said I had no help, I meant with this particular obsession., I did stop rituals of checking computer, and that helped this obsession alot. When I was young before computers, I would go to book stores to get reassurance about my symtoms, and i would confess, and Make up counting and time rituals . I would also make up problen solving senerios in my head. did all of that.
I never krew that all the mental stuff I was doing was compulsions to relieve anxiety. I thought every thing was an obsession . I mets omeone on the ocd website with the same obsession after her abortion, The reason it is ocd and not something else, is because of the repetivness, The fact that it was the billboard that triggered me, and all the problem solving, and doing things like drawing pics on the shower wall with my fingers to try to remember the size and what it looked like on the sonogram. My doc sent me for a sonogram because he thought I was ectopic. I am on prozac and effexor and a small dose of clonipin which I am trying to wean off. the reason I got all upset, was because i was reading posts of women who were pregnant and staying on their meds. I suppose Im jealous because back in the seventies they didn't have a diagnosis no meds except valium. When i stopped valium to protect fetus, I practically became phsycotic, I went thru hell, not only did I have valium withdrawel, but had all the anxiety and ocd back with no releif. as i said earlier my husband was an addict and spent all our money on drugs, when I asked him for 200 for the abortion, he said he didnt have it, and would have it next week. I knew that would never happen, and I knew that it would be immoral to let a fetus grow inside me ,knowing I was going to abort. I would not have that. i called my dad and he wired me the money.
After the abortion I was greatly relieved .no guilt or sadness, I could work on geeting well and leave him. I know i have written a book here, but wanted to set the whole record straight. then sixteen years later i saw the billbard and the thought that I killed a child, scarred me and stuck, I had just started prozac and was relieved of my other scarry thoughts. Because I am so sensitive, this one stuck hard. This has been carthartic and thanks for listening. What i do now when any thoughts pop in, about this is say, this is my ocd, and refrain from problem solving, thank-you Michelle from florida.
I never krew that all the mental stuff I was doing was compulsions to relieve anxiety. I thought every thing was an obsession . I mets omeone on the ocd website with the same obsession after her abortion, The reason it is ocd and not something else, is because of the repetivness, The fact that it was the billboard that triggered me, and all the problem solving, and doing things like drawing pics on the shower wall with my fingers to try to remember the size and what it looked like on the sonogram. My doc sent me for a sonogram because he thought I was ectopic. I am on prozac and effexor and a small dose of clonipin which I am trying to wean off. the reason I got all upset, was because i was reading posts of women who were pregnant and staying on their meds. I suppose Im jealous because back in the seventies they didn't have a diagnosis no meds except valium. When i stopped valium to protect fetus, I practically became phsycotic, I went thru hell, not only did I have valium withdrawel, but had all the anxiety and ocd back with no releif. as i said earlier my husband was an addict and spent all our money on drugs, when I asked him for 200 for the abortion, he said he didnt have it, and would have it next week. I knew that would never happen, and I knew that it would be immoral to let a fetus grow inside me ,knowing I was going to abort. I would not have that. i called my dad and he wired me the money.
After the abortion I was greatly relieved .no guilt or sadness, I could work on geeting well and leave him. I know i have written a book here, but wanted to set the whole record straight. then sixteen years later i saw the billbard and the thought that I killed a child, scarred me and stuck, I had just started prozac and was relieved of my other scarry thoughts. Because I am so sensitive, this one stuck hard. This has been carthartic and thanks for listening. What i do now when any thoughts pop in, about this is say, this is my ocd, and refrain from problem solving, thank-you Michelle from florida.
Well Paxiled, there is a HUGE difference in what means you're using when you're trying to "convince" someone that you're right about something. That has nothing to do with freedom of speech at all when you spew your hatred at others. Information and discussion is something different.
I'm not too fond of fundamentalism in the question of abortion or any other topic for that matter. Fundmantalists don't only want to convince people but they also have their not to subtle agendas of wanting to make people feel bad.
Oh and no (wo)man is an island by the way..
I'm not too fond of fundamentalism in the question of abortion or any other topic for that matter. Fundmantalists don't only want to convince people but they also have their not to subtle agendas of wanting to make people feel bad.
Oh and no (wo)man is an island by the way..
On a more practical level, the term OCD is used very loosely both on this forum and by psychiatrists. You only have OCD if you have both obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions, such as repeated and obsessive washing of hands. If all you have are obsessive thoughts, you just suffer from anxiety or depression of OCD. The reason this matters is psychiatrists and psychologists will often try to define an illness for reasons of getting paid by an insurance company bureaucracy, but when it comes to medication, problems can arise, since some medications are approved specifically for OCD but if you really don't have it you might be on the wrong med. Same with therapy -- you can waste a lot of time working on OCD if you don't actually have it.
As for the billboards, the nation is involved in a very political and moral battle over abortion, and everyone, pro and con, has the right to express their opinion and try to convince you they're right. Your obligation is to be strong enough with your own ego to not let that disrupt your life, and to fight back as a citizen. But it sounds like you feel insecure, that you're letting others define how you're supposed to feel. That's common with anxiety sufferers and people who suffer depression -- it's part of our illness. It's something to work on in therapy, for all of us, so we don't feel so insecure.
As for the billboards, the nation is involved in a very political and moral battle over abortion, and everyone, pro and con, has the right to express their opinion and try to convince you they're right. Your obligation is to be strong enough with your own ego to not let that disrupt your life, and to fight back as a citizen. But it sounds like you feel insecure, that you're letting others define how you're supposed to feel. That's common with anxiety sufferers and people who suffer depression -- it's part of our illness. It's something to work on in therapy, for all of us, so we don't feel so insecure.
Doubled headed coin in many ways. You feel guilt for what you did. And you hate those who tell you that you did wrong. Would that be correct so far? Can only add what others have said. You are your own person. You have reasons for your own actions. If you are happy with your reasons then nobody has the right to tell you otherwise. But here is where your conflict comes into play. Now you are wondering where your reasons right? So without others telling you that you were wrong, you feel a touch a guilt about the whole thing. Which is caused by your ocd? Just seeing have I got this straight in my own head. That ocd been about harming a child. To which you now think you may have done by doing what you done. I will leave this as it is for now. until you read it. Then you can correct any parts that are wrong and give us the full picture. I am just reading what I can from what you have posted.
I am pro abortion depending on the situation. But dont let anyone tell you you were wrong it is your body. And that is your choice. My son just had my first grandson and I love him to death. But the mother is not so good with him I kinda have a feeling i'm going to be raising hi but I will deal with it when it happens. My son is a great dad but you just see the difference. When she has the baby and when my son has him. But back to your subject it your body and no one can tell you what you should do. I lost 3 babies early on so I know it is so hard on your emotions. You can add me to you friend list or what ever it is on here first time for me. But I was raised catholic but I dont practice that religion any more. I believe that everyone should believe in there our god. He is in many differt forms . And if you dont belive in god that is your business. Both my sons say they dont so I just tell them they are old enough to know what they want to believe in. Sorry so long Thanks Terry
Hello again Michelle.
Only you know the true reasons for your decision and that is really the only thing that matters at the end of the day. That goes for EVERY choice or decision we make in our lives. I know now that people will always judge me from their own moral points of view, personal experiences or whatever. And I can't avoid that. That's just life. I happen to have an illness that some people(including some doctors) don't even believe to be real. What can I say? This experience has certainly helped me realize that I can't let other people's judgement and personal points of view(especially not any random doctor's!) stop me from trying to live my life the best way I possibly can, though it hasn't always been easy.
I'm not american but I understand provoked abortion is a much more controversial topic in the US than in Northern Europe where I live. The anti choice movement is quite marginal now, but the women's rights movement(and the feminists) did a profound and real hard work in the 70's and 80's which I'm forever grateful for. But everything comes with a prize, and we are constantly being criticized for being godless and profane in this part of the world. Well....I can live with that.
Nora
Only you know the true reasons for your decision and that is really the only thing that matters at the end of the day. That goes for EVERY choice or decision we make in our lives. I know now that people will always judge me from their own moral points of view, personal experiences or whatever. And I can't avoid that. That's just life. I happen to have an illness that some people(including some doctors) don't even believe to be real. What can I say? This experience has certainly helped me realize that I can't let other people's judgement and personal points of view(especially not any random doctor's!) stop me from trying to live my life the best way I possibly can, though it hasn't always been easy.
I'm not american but I understand provoked abortion is a much more controversial topic in the US than in Northern Europe where I live. The anti choice movement is quite marginal now, but the women's rights movement(and the feminists) did a profound and real hard work in the 70's and 80's which I'm forever grateful for. But everything comes with a prize, and we are constantly being criticized for being godless and profane in this part of the world. Well....I can live with that.
Nora
The ONLY person you need to justify your decison to is yourself. That you felt, and still feel, that your decision was right and moral is all that matters.
There will always and forever be people who believe THEIR moral views are the one and only true way. History has sadly taught us that lesson over and over and continues to this day. Those who spew hate at those of us with differing moral values are, in my opinion, the ones who are spiritually bankrupt.
You say you have had much therapy about this, but it didn't help. I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know how long ago that was, but perhaps it would be worth another try. There are some excellent medications now aimed specifically at OCD. If you aren't being treated now, there is a great deal of help available. There is no reason to keep on suffering. I don't know that I've helped you at all.............just know that I, for one, totally understand your position.
Peace
Greenlydia
There will always and forever be people who believe THEIR moral views are the one and only true way. History has sadly taught us that lesson over and over and continues to this day. Those who spew hate at those of us with differing moral values are, in my opinion, the ones who are spiritually bankrupt.
You say you have had much therapy about this, but it didn't help. I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know how long ago that was, but perhaps it would be worth another try. There are some excellent medications now aimed specifically at OCD. If you aren't being treated now, there is a great deal of help available. There is no reason to keep on suffering. I don't know that I've helped you at all.............just know that I, for one, totally understand your position.
Peace
Greenlydia
My question or concern, is That I do not have quilt or feel I made a mistake. I felt and feel perfectly moral about my decision, however 16 years after the procedure, I passed a gigantic billboard put up by a right to life org. It had an 8 mth fetus on it, with the words CHOICE OR CHILD because my ocd focus was about harming, especially fears of harming children., I was thrown, and devloped an obsession that I did this and it wasn't just a thought, therefore I am bad and I murdered my own child.
I Michelle Do not feel this way, It is my ocd brain, I have had much therapy about it, nothing helped until I met a woman with the same obsession.I do have resentment concerning the born again christians, who spew hate at me, for somthing they know nothing about, and they , because of my disorder, Have caused me much unnessecary suffering. I would never try to take someone's faith from them. sincerely chelley_1
I Michelle Do not feel this way, It is my ocd brain, I have had much therapy about it, nothing helped until I met a woman with the same obsession.I do have resentment concerning the born again christians, who spew hate at me, for somthing they know nothing about, and they , because of my disorder, Have caused me much unnessecary suffering. I would never try to take someone's faith from them. sincerely chelley_1
This forum is NOT based on any religious creed whatsoever. But as in any situation where you have a huge cross-section of people, you will find a huge mix of views and opinions. You seem to have stumbled across ONLY those posts written by folks who are vocal about their religions and base their replies on religious beliefs. I have seen quite a few posts that invoke religion as a means to end someones suffering, to find true happiness, to gain peace, etc, but as with ANY opinion, we are free to chose to accept or ignore it. If you were searching out posts about abortion, were you really surprised that the pro-life folks waded in? I can see where that could easily give you the impression this forum was not the place for you. I can promise you that this forum is open minded, non-religious and non-judgemental. I can't promise you that about the people who may reply to your posts! Especially with a topic as controversial as abortion.
I believe if you posted your fears, your feelings, your concerns, you would receive a very mixed bag of replies...........you just have to know that as in the "real" world, you are going to have a certain group of people who will blame all your troubles on what you did in your youth.
The folks who post here with anxiety from smoking pot, or having had pre-marital sex or sex with a prostitute...........there are always going to be those who do nothing but point their finger. The solution to that is simply take what you can use and leave the rest.
You ARE in the right place, you are very welcome here and I can only hope that we will be able to offer you the comfort and support you're seeking.
Peace
Greenlydia
I believe if you posted your fears, your feelings, your concerns, you would receive a very mixed bag of replies...........you just have to know that as in the "real" world, you are going to have a certain group of people who will blame all your troubles on what you did in your youth.
The folks who post here with anxiety from smoking pot, or having had pre-marital sex or sex with a prostitute...........there are always going to be those who do nothing but point their finger. The solution to that is simply take what you can use and leave the rest.
You ARE in the right place, you are very welcome here and I can only hope that we will be able to offer you the comfort and support you're seeking.
Peace
Greenlydia
Far from religious here. Only time you get me in a church is funerals and the likes. It is a mixed site. People have their own views. Why should we discuss religion on an anxiety forum? It is not an issue. Each to their own. Or abortions for that matter. Not got to do with anxiety at all. So we have no need to even bring up the subject. Unless we want people to know what we are into to gain their full attention. You can write all that stuff in your profile. If people want to read it, so be it. If they don't they won't.
I think you will find that not everyone on this site is a devout Christian. People do not come on her to speak of their religions affiliations, but rather to speak freely and openly about their medical problems to get advice and information on how to deal with their symptoms. I'm sorry this site has made you feel that way, but if it did why bother posting anything and not just leaving the site quietly? I'm not trying to be rude, just a question. Anyway, the people on this site are here to help. I would be willing to help you with whatever you need or want to discuss, especially since I'm an anxiety sufferer and I know how horrible it feels. I myself am not Christian per say, but I do believe in God and Jesus. I also very much believe in pro-choice. You can say I'm my own person, and I don't feel the need to follow a specific guideline, just whatever I think makes sense to me. But my main point is, we're all here for support, so if you need it there are many out here to help with that. If you just come right out and ask what you need to ask, I'm sure you'll get many responses from people trying to offer their support. I hope this helped.
Chrissy
Chrissy
When you say religious, I think you mean Christian. No, not all of us are Christian, but some who are are very vocal about it. To not be Christian doesn't mean a person isn't religious, and to be pro-choice doesn't mean a person isn't Christian, just not a particular sort of Christian. And that sort of Christian has just as much right to be on here and expressing their opinion as those of us who are not that type of Christian or Christian at all or religious at all. We're a diverse group. There are a lot of very right wing people on certain forums, and a lot of liberals and sometimes we even argue -- vociferously. But it all turns out okay when we discuss our medical problems. Now, as nora says, is it the abortion you really want to talk about? Not politically or religiously, but as a source of anxiety? Here's the thing -- events don't make us anxious, we make ourselves anxious. How we respond to events can teach us much, and we need to pay attention, but anxiety is worthless, and we're all trying to overcome it. But that doesn't mean we won't feel deeply about what we do and try to learn from it. Ask what you really want to discuss, and you'll get a lot of responses, maybe some that are very religious, but it's always up to you to process them and make your own decisions. That's life. Peace.
I'm sorry to hear this site has made you feel alone.
Well, I'm not religious and I think you will find here that many are not.
I haven't personally experienced any provoked abortion, but have had people close to me that made that choice in their youth. It's certainly a very tough decision whatever the reason.
Are you experiencing anxiety now related to that choice you made in your youth?
What do you feel you need from this site(us) to be able to talk freely about what troubles you?
Best regards,
Nora
Well, I'm not religious and I think you will find here that many are not.
I haven't personally experienced any provoked abortion, but have had people close to me that made that choice in their youth. It's certainly a very tough decision whatever the reason.
Are you experiencing anxiety now related to that choice you made in your youth?
What do you feel you need from this site(us) to be able to talk freely about what troubles you?
Best regards,
Nora
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