need guidance

[surfergirl10]

I have severe anxiety/panic attacks. I haven't had one in awhile until yesterday.  I went out of my familiar driving territory and daily living routine and found myself in traffic on the freeway, with my kids having a severe attack.  There was no escape or outlet at the time it came on. Furthermore, we were stuck in traffic due to a radical accident that appeared to be fatal which also triggered me into waves of attacks.  I managed to eventually get out and find a lot.  Only to call a friend and my husband to come pick me up.  I was far away and even thugh I go out of my car, I was in unfamiliar territory still having attacks but was able to walk around with mykids. This hasnt' hapened to me in awhile...I am also under stress in my personal life.  I am scared and wantt to seek help.  I always carry lorazapem with me incase, but it was not working at all. I rarely take it..only when I am heightened as my doctor told specificically.  I know I have always had signs of agoraphobia, and am embarrassed about it. I avoid certain areas etc and have done this for years. my question: What kind of therapist should I look for? any other recommendations?

[surfergirl10]

I fell like I have had a major seizure....because I am stilll sooo tired.  It really took it's toll on me.  I am going in tomorrow to a "shrink". nonetheless, I have more to deal with in my life. I am glad to hear from all of you.  I know I am under stress...I know I have low self esteem and I know that I feel like the world is on my shoulders with my hubby losing his job and me caring for both kids and working while he is dealing with his stuff.  He is being supportive and I think it hit him that this is serious and for real.  Things are starting to come to mind.  I put in my cd of Deepak Chopra called Sacred sounds while I drove to work to day.  It seemed to help. I was anxious but ok.  Also, many years ago, I thought I had depression (which I probably do) but went to a doctor who quickly prescribed Effexor Xr. I took it, it was time released. I was feeling great, but then it kept coming on more and more and finally I had like a neurological melt down.  It felt like how they explained LSD trips.  Anyway, The end result was a major anxiety attack. that was my first one. I feel robbed since then.  This is why I am so afraid of meds.  I wish I could see my brain activity when I have these activities...I wonder what it looks like? hmmm. Anyway, I am grateful for all of you. Thanks

[Kt28]

Don't beat yourself up for this.  This is very common and you were under a lot of stress.  Are you taking any SSRIs?  I know people have a hard time taking any medication, but sometimes they are what is need to get back on track.  Therapy is also major.  Meditation and relaxation techniques can also help.  When you are home lock yourself in your room and try spending 30 minutes a day on breathing exercises.  Panic is "safe", but it's your body's way of telling you that there is something going on that needs change.  It might be biological, or it might just simply mean that you are under a lot of stress.  It's a vicious cycle and it has to be nipped in the bud in order to stop further attacks.  I get them and try to focus my thoughts on something completely different.  This can be hard, but start counting from 10 to 1 and focus on your breathing.  Try looking for a cognitive-behavioral therapist.  They will help you in these times.  But don't beat yourself up for this...this is very common even though it's very upsetting and painful.

[nursegirl6572]

OMG...reading your post...*I* could have written it.  My most recent "return" to anxiety/panic/agoraphobia started last summer in almost an identical way yours did...I was driving along and BAM, hit a traffic jam....INSTANT panic, with my kids in the car to boot.  I'll share with you something quite personal about myself (and actually quite common with panic)...but as SOON as I get a panic attack...I INSTANTLY have to, well...errrr.....go to the bathroom.....ya know?  NOT number 1?  I then panic even more that I won't make it to a bathroom...it is awful.

That day...I'm sitting in traffic and thinking...ok....I'm going to **** myself now, as I was obviously nowhere near a bathroom.  I managed to get off the next exit, and hit even more traffic, then traffic light after traffic light.  Moral of MY story...I FINALLY made it to a BK, and into the BR, where my legs were shaking horribly.  After that...I called it a day...I had no more desire to continue going where I was headed....so I headed back home (which starts the agoraphobic cycle).  Which, btw, I would bet you are in...but the good news is...you can overcome it...it just takes some time and some work.

After that fateful day...I felt defeated, mad at myself, scared, you name it...a huge barrage of emotions.  Of course, I slowly started to avoid going places that were outside of my "safety/comfort" zone (which is usually our homes).  Slowly..even going to the grocery store a few miles down the road (no traffic lights in between) became a real struggle for me.  What was EXTRA frustrating for me is that I've been there before many times in my life....and again I was faced with it, and even felt helpless to work thru it.  It really ****** me off, to say the least.

Luckily, because I had done this before...I didn't waste any time...I got myself to the doctor, started back on the meds I had taken years before and started working through the feelings.  Depression (as cj said above) is usually par for the course at SOME point with panic/agoraphobia.  What ISN'T depressing about feeling like you can barely leave your house?  I still have a way to go myself, but I'm slowly getting there.  My fear level is much decreased...and since that day..I have worked myself back up to travelling that same route.  Without my kids at this point, but that's OKAY.  It's progress for ME.  That is what is crucial, and yet so hard about beating agoraphobia...the ability to be able to "get back on the horse", so to speak.  The more you avoid, the more difficult it becomes.

My advice to you...is to stick with your plans to go and talk to someone.  Pretty much ANY mental health provider is equipped to deal with panic/agoraphobia.  If you are really unsure where to start....your family doc will have some great suggestions for you.  They may also suggest starting on medication.  Everyone feels differetly about meds....they have helped a TREMEMDOUS amount of people...but people have also gotten thru it med-free as well.  *I* have always done very well with BOTH meds and "talk therapy".  Just keep in mind, if you do start on an anti-depressant, they take anywhere from 2-6 weeks to really start making a difference.  I wish they didn't, but they do.  

In the meantime, while you are seeking professional help...set small goals for yourself....it will be hard at first...but each time it gets easier...and you will feel a tremendous feeling of accomplishment each time you successfully complete an outing.  Even if it is to drive out of your driveway and around the block, and right back home.  For bigger drives, consider having someone go with you for a while...that always gives you a more secure feeling.  Each time, try going a little bit farther away from your "safety zone".

IF you go out and start to have a panic attack...TRY very hard to get through it without fleeing.  In the very least....sit it out, even if for a few seconds.  Every time you have a PA, you will be able to increase your time you sit through it rather than "running"...until you eventually get to the point where you will surprise yourself and actually be able to stick the whole thing out.  It's tough, and it's scary, I know that.  There isn't much worse I have experienced in my life over a PA..heck I'd even take childbirth.  But, remember, they are ONLY emotions, and they cannot harm you physically.  The more you are able to sit it out....you are breaking that "fear" cycle where agoraphobia comes from.

If you have a sec, read my journal entry about panic.  It may make you realize that you are sooo far from alone in this, and also that there IS life after panic and agoraphobia.  Be patient with yourself...un-doing the "fearing the fear" thought process takes time.  Celebrate every accomplishment, no matter how "small" you perceive it to be.  There are no SMALL accomplishments when you are working through panic disorder.

Keep posting, we are here for you.  Best of luck at the doc's/therapist's.  Hang in there...I sooo know what you are going through.  More than I could ever express.

Take Care!

[cj29]

Anxiety and depression often go hand in hand.  When I suffered from my first panic attack three years ago, it really floored and disabilitated me.  I was even afraid to leave the house.  It caused me to lose my self-identity and I became severely depressed.  What you are feeling, in my opinion, is par for the course with what you are dealing with.

As far as the counselor goes, I would go with your gut...I know that really does not help, but it is kind of trial and error.  The psychiatrist may gel really well with you, however, the psychologist may be a better match.  What you suggest, makes sense to me;  once you go in there and talk about it with whomever you choose just be honest and straightforward.  You are already doing what you need to do to get help and I applaud you for doing so.  I can tell you that no mattter how bad you currently feel (I was there in a very bad way), it does get better.  Continue to use this forum and ask as many questions as you like.

[surfergirl10]

I believe I may have a classic signs of agoraphobia. I also know I am not a therapist. Anyway, I called and got my authorization number and am going to call a couple of doctors. In my case, what kind of specialization should I look for ?? For example, healthcare group that is provided, does provide a detailed "resume" of each doctors focus. However, the one that is purely phobias, anxiety etc is a psychiatrist. The other doctor is a psychologist, but has a long resume. I think I might start with the psychologist. I didn't think about them working with my doctor. I am really sad about this. It is so disabling in so many ways. Is depression connected with this? I don't know if I am depressed? I take those tests, and they are vague. Oh well, I just want help. Thanks

[cj29]

First, of all please don't be embarrassed about this; you recognize that you have these attacks and are willing to confront them, which in my opinion takes much more courage in pretending they do not exist.  Panic attacks can definately come out of nowhere and without warning.  I had been panic free for almost three years when it hit me again and it absolutely floored me.  I also have lorazepam on an as needed basis just like you.

Ok, so as I said you are willing to confront this through talk therapy which in my experience is the first step in beating this whether it is the first time or a 'relapse.'  Finding the right therapist can definately be tricky but I always suggest to people that it should be one you are comfortable with (I tended to know within a couple of visits if he/she is right for me).  In my opinion, and others might take a different approach, it does not matter if they are a psychiatrist, psychologist, or a licensed counselor.  I actually prefer a psychologist and/or counselor to a psychiatrist because with me they tend to listen a little more, although some prefer a psychiatrist because they are MDs.  and understand how to prescribe medications.  I just had my therapist work with my doctor to get me on the right track and it has worked with me.  

I know stressing patience is the last thing you probably want to here right now, and finding someone to talk to can be a little bit of trial and error, but once you find the right person you will know and it REALLY helps in the long run.  In the meanwhile, please continue to use this forum and ask as many questions as you like!