My life is crashing... Because of blushing

[Faith15]

Right now I am crying in my room trying to find a way out. It's a pain I have that nobody can relate to. I do not know what exactly it is called, but I can no longer take it! I have furious blushing problems. Some people make say, what??that's cute! But no. I don't get pink or just a little red,I turn Blood RED. I get really hott and so embarrased I want to be invisable. I'm a 15 yr old junior girl in hs,battling with this horrific anxiety disorder. I blush for absolutely EVERYTHING!! Ask me my favorite color, and the next thing you know my face is bright red. I can go on and on, but I will try to make this as short as possible. This is ruining my life. I can't even have dinner with my family without me being anxious. I am so depressed. No, nobody in my family knows. It's not easy fore. I haven't had suicidal thoughts but sometimes I wish u were never born. I have this huge oral presentation for English in like four days, and I am ridiculously nervous! Words cannot even begin to explain. I NEED HELP PLEASE!!! Somebody tell me remedies or treatment, anything. This is coming straight from my heart. I have a cavity j haven't gone to fix because of course I'm going to blush while I'm sitting in the chair. Thank u for taking your precious time to read my story, recieving any supportive commet will be highlyyy appreciated! I have suffered from this for about 4 years now and I don't think I can handle it. Even a simple trick from preventing me to blush may help.
Thank you!!

[beetrootblusher]

I have been plagued by something very similar since the age of about 9, and soon I will hit retirement age. I know all about trying to avoid situations where people might see me blush, but not see the intensely hot sweating that can go with it. I did find a partial cure, which has helped a lot, around 7 years ago. You may think this is a joke but it isn't, it it is about confronting and overcoming some of your worst fears. A long story but in 2009 I started doing part-time life modelling. It was scary at first but also empowering. I do that once or twice a week, never too close to home. That has given me much more self-confidence, boosted my self-esteem and almost cured me of blushing. Such incidents are rare now though curiously the last one was when I was sitting for a portrait, so people were concentrating on my face, though usually I can do those without incident. If it does happen I just tolerate it and wait for it to pass. These days I actually miss life modelling if I have no bookings for a few weeks. I'm not saying it is for everyone but it works for me. I do feel that I could have done much more with my life had I not been hindered by this condition. In retrospect I wish I'd had the courage to start life modelling when I first went to university as a teenager, or at least in my 20s or 30s, but better late than never.

[jdog429]

hi i am 15 years old i have anxiety also it also happens to me but i believe you can be calm in your own way words from this guys heart

[Madison55]

Hi there! You are not alone. I too suffer from it.  It doesn't happen to me very often but when it does I know the pain and embarrassment so well.  I even see the other person act uncomfortable trying not to look at me.  Let us know if anything helps you.

[specialmom]

I am sorry you feel other people act uncomfortable and try not to look at you.  It is probably hard to feel on display like that.  How long have you had this?

[semianonymous]

I'm not sure of the answer, but I can say I suffer from keratosis pilaris rubra faceii... most dermatologists don't even know of it.  But when I was diagnosed I was told 'Welcome to the 1% of 1% of 1%.

Joking about all of that sucks.. but acknowledging it sucks worse.  

Facial blushing debilitates your life.  And unfortunately, most (99.9%) advice you will hear is 'get over it'.  Trust me... i'd trade too.

Please contact me if you would like to talk further.

[Juliet123456]

Hey, so I just read you writing about your blushing and it sounds exactly like me. Right now I am (15 years old) sitting on my bed crying. I always go completely red in class when teachers ask me questions and my "friend" points it out and the whole class laughs, sometimes the teacher points it out. Then I get interrogated by other people on when and why I blush. It's not even when I'm embarrassed (although most of the time it is). Even when people mention boys I turn into a tomato/beetroot. Last month I saw an old friend who I hadn't seen in 5 years. When we started talking I started to blush really badly and I just had to walk away. Anyway, reading all of these comments and your personal experiences has helped me so much. I'm so glad that you asked for help because if you didn't, I wouldn't know that other people suffer this also. If you don't mind we could email each other about it, unless you don't want to? xxxxxx

[jdog429]

i don't mind i'd actually like to

[keleri]

I am 30 years old and its happening to me. Its not about not wanting to be in the lime light. its a serious medical condition. its not just about yourself overthinking a situation or having anxious thoughts. yes thats part of it but there is more to it then that. people like myself have a sensitive sympathetic nervous system and there is no control it.  i am a very confident person, im outgoing and im not shy at all. for no reason i get extreme facial blushing which then causes anxiety and then further makes the blushing worse. it turns into a visous cylcle. i can tell you there this is more then just being afraid of a little attention.

[fsu7188]

Faith15,

How did the presentation go? Its been a LONG time, I know. But considering that I had the same problem as you, I would like to know how it went and how you are doing.

Thanks.

[Faith15]

Again I thank u sooooo much for your great advice. I will try my very best to use them. I have heard of the drugs, but I really need to build up the confidence of telling someone.
Greenlydia, thanks for sharing that beautiful story. It almost brought me to teats because I really idolized your bravery. As a blusher I could see how hard that could have been.
My presentation is in 2 days, so I'm just prayoubt to God.
Thank u, God bless !

[mammo]

I agree with Anniebrooke......the less of a deal you make of it, the better.  Learn to laugh at yourself, it will put you at ease as well as those around you. Think of what disfigured people have to deal with, and your problem will pale in comparison. I know it's a big deal to you right at the moment, but just go with it, it's part of who you are right now.  You also have to understand that most of the people you are speaking to are happy it's not them up there, because many have a fear of speaking in front of others as well. People will be paying more attention to what you are saying than the redness.  Do a great job on your speaking, and this is what they will remember.  Also, think about visiting a local hospital where teens & children are battling serious conditions, some are dying, some disfigured, it will put all this in perspective for you, and make you thankful that turning red is all you have to deal with. I'm not taking this lightly, but trying to make you see all the good around you so that you aren't dwelling on this one issue so much.  It's ruining your life at a time when you should be enjoying it.  Take care.

Also Julie359 & princeandrei.... Inderal/propanolol is used by many who fear public speaking.  It is fast acting and doesn't stay in your system long.  I take it to stop a tremor in one of my hands.

[princeandrei]

I have taken Proplanolol/Inderal for twenty years and it is a miracle drug. It allows me to do my job effectively and it has helped build my confidence to the point that I need it less and less. Because it's a blood pressure medication it doesn't do anything to your mind. It wears off very quickly so you can take it as needed if you have a presentation. I had a teacher recommend it to me, but my doctor told me that a lot of medical students, musicians, and teachers take it. I highly recommend it.

[Julie359]

There is something which can help you enormously for this, you will need to go to ur docotrs and ask if it may be the right medicine for you but it is called Propranalol or Inderal.  Propranalol/Inderal will ease the body's flushing system, heart rate, sweating etc.... so will either stop or ease the redness caused by anxiety.

I suffered terribly from my chest, neck and face becoming very patchy red, it looked like i was having a severe allergic reacton, i became so upset and embarrassed by it for ages i would wear polo necked tops to hide as much of my skin as possible. But since taking the propranalol it has eased a lot.  If your doc feels it is ok for you he/she may start you on a low dose of maybe 10mg in the morning, you should noticed a big change within a week or two.  I currently take 20mg in the morning and sometimes 20mg at night.

Take care and have a chat with ur doc.... bless

Julie

I hope this has helped some.  

[RubyWitch]

Faith,
What Annie said is perfect and it's that sort of strategy that worked for me. I too was a "tomato head" who also got the shakes so bad I couldn't hold my paper steady enough to read. I was a mess! I'm still amazed I actually lived through high school.
In the 10th grade we had to take Public Speaking..........the entire summer before I began the 10th grade, I prayed for a Russian Sputnik to fall on my head. I'm serious.
What Annie said about biting the bullet and telling the class before you begin your presentation that you have this annoying habit of blushing something fierce will take a great deal of pressure off you. You KNOW you're going to blush and you KNOW you're going to get terribly embarrassed about that, so instead of living in fear of the inevitable happening, take away it's power! Use it to enhance your presentation, find and use the humor in the situation. I know this is NOT funny or fun to you, but learning to laugh at ourselves is one of the best characteristics you can learn in this life.
Here's what I did at one of my presentations and even tho it was one of the most difficult and terrifying things I've ever done, it virtually ended my blushing problem.
I went to an arts and craft store and bought popcycle sticks, red construction paper and Elmers glue. I cut out cirlces of paper and glued them to the sticks...........enough for everyone in the class. When that horrid, heart stopping moment arrived that my name was called, I took a huge deep breath and began handing out the signs. When I got up in front of the class, I was fire engine red and shaking and I hadn't even said a word yet! I remember, (vaguely) saying that I was sure they all knew I turned red as a beet when I had to talk in front of people but I wanted their help in letting me know just how bad it was. I asked them that during my speech, if they would write a number between 1-10 on the little sign and hold it up, I'd get a good idea of how bad it was. (Trust me, this took nerves of steel, but someone promised me I would never regret it) I thanked them ahead of time for their help and launched into my presentation. Signs began to be raised immediately. Some already had 10, some had 5 with a cross through it and 10 written below that! I had all sorts of numbers popping up but I noticed something really amazing. When I saw the class having fun (yes, at MY expense) I didn't die of embarrassment like I figured I would. What happened was I began to relax and actually have fun! I was still red, but I wasn't shaking! People were scratching out their #10 and putting #4..........I couldn't believe it. Then ya know what happened? When my 15 minutes was up, every person in that class applauded me! They said it had been fun. That it had been a great idea. I was the center of attention and guess what? I LIKED IT AND I WASN'T RED! My heart was beating a mile a minute but I knew I had made a huge step in overcoming my problem. The next semester I took Debate and Drama and while I never totally got over my "stage fright," ask just about anyone and they'll tell you that public speaking is very hard for them. It's a human thing we all have. Who wants to look stupid, eh? I went on to spend the next 25 years working in community theatre and always had to use gobs of make-up to look like I was blushing!
I was not a terribly out going person and I told you this was very hard for me to do, but I hated living with that problem, so I took a chance on changing and it worked. I think it would work for you as well..............just think on it, OK?
You will eventually outgrow the blushing and then you'll wish you still could.
I wish you the very, very best.
Peace
Greenlydia, ex-blusher    

[whitecat78]

You sound a lot like me when I was your age. I use to blush and get embarrassed by everything, sometimes I would be so embarrassed I would even cry in front of the whole class. I was hyper sensitive to everything and I still am, but its not as bad now.  
The trick is to try not to focus negatively on yourself and to focus on other people. You shouldn't worry so much what people think, just be yourself.  If you do blush, its not the end of the world :)

[Faith15]

This way so amazing to read. Thank u j really appreciate the time given and the wonderful advice. God bless.

[AnnieBrooke]

For the dentist and similar situations, work up a line that you can use.  Say "It took me a long time to save up this blush.  I worked on it special."  The lighter tone and the more irony, the better, since it will ease the curiosity of the person looking at you (please do also remember that they probably aren't really that curious -- people are a lot more into themselves and a lot less into wondering about others than you think), and at the best, it will ease your self-consciousness to the point where it happens less.

[AnnieBrooke]

A friend of mine who has terrible stage fright and had to give a professional presentation to a big audience got prescribed a one-time dose of some heart medication, and it took all the pounding heart stuff away, and she was able to present just fine.  Of course, this doesn't help you at this moment, but I thought I'd mention it if this problem continues on in your life and gets really severely debilitating.

What I would do in 4 days is this.  Stand up to begin your speech, and say as your first sentences:  "Look, I have done the work and I have my speech and am going to give it.  But first I should say, I have a debilitating condition, I blush beet red when i am nervous.  So get ready, it's probably going to happen.  Try to look past it at what I am presenting, because my stuff is pretty good and I worked hard on it."  Then give your speech.  It is not going to be any more mortifying to have said it and then blush, than not to say it and blush, and it sounds like you're going to blush if you don't say it anyway.  Saying it might calm you down inwardly enough to prevent the blush or keep it from being the color of a stop sign at least.  There is a LOT to be said for saying the honest thing in a situation.  Not "OMG!!! AM I BLUSHING?" and imbuing it with emotion, just calm "Oh, yeah, incidentally, I blush.  Big deal."

Good luck!  I hope you post how it went.

[sissyred]

You are not the only one..YES I can relate and know exactly how you feel.....sometimes you wish the ground would open up and swallow you.  I dreaded even being asked a question by the teacher in class but I have it even worse than you. If I had to give an oral presentation I would break out in a red blotchy rash-face, neck,chest and upper arms.
Wearing makeup can help because you can hide behind it-it's not a fix but it does make you feel like you have a safety ney and gives you back a bit of confidence. As you get older you do learn to feel more comfortable in social situations and the frquency of the blushing lessens.
I know that doesn't quite help you at the moment. Do some research into blushing, you will find that there are a multitude of things that can help you. Medication, herbal treatments, hypnosis... there are lots of posts and forums about blushing...find them and have a read of what others have posted. Find what works for them and what doesn't. You find an answer that works for you.

[Irenak]

Well, here is the thing.  Your thoughts about blushing are making you uncomfortable. The actual blushing is too, but that is secondary, I had the same problem when I was younger, though admittedly, not as much as you.  First quit telling yourself that there is something wrong with blushing.  You are uncomfortable with being in the limelight, that's all.  You don't want attention fully on you.  Therefore, you can't even take a compliment well.  The trick is to push yourself and put yourself out there even though it will be very uncomfortable at first.  For now, allow yourself to blush and be prepared to accept the comments if there are any.  Push through the dentist one more time and through your presentation.  If you think this is bad, imagine someone who has the syndrome where they twitch and utter obscenities without wanting to.  Your problem will go away and it is more common than you may think.  At least you look adorable when you do it.  You are at a delicate time of your life where your  hormones are messing with you.  You are struggling for an identity of some kind.  You want to be seen, yet you don't, all at the same time.  It is very confusing and every girl your age goes through something that seems equally as tough.  It is all about insecurity and I promise that it will change.  Not over night, but it will.  Start the change by involving yourself in a competitive activity of some sort. Maybe even several.  Find something you are excited and passionate about.  Do the practice, make friends doing it, compete, put yourself in the limelight...........and blush.  Eventually, you will stop blushing because the things that triggered the blushes will not trigger them anymore.  They will become old hat.  At some point in life, you will reach the place where you will never blush again.  Yup.  It happens.  Then you look back fondly at those insecure times of innocence and will wish that you could blush again.  It is true. I know this seems huge.  Don't make it bigger than it is.  It is fixable and it seems horrible when you are in it.  I remember.  I was mortified myself.  There will be a future, though, when you will look back at it differently...and it will be gone.  Put yourself in the limelight.  Get brave.  Win some trophies.  That is your cure. I used to break out in uncontrolled nervous laughter when doing a presentation in front of the class.  Then I would forget everything I was supposed to say.  Now I teach classes and can hold my own in front of large groups.  It changes.  really does.  You can't prepare yourself ahead of time because it is such an uncontrollable response.  Just take baby steps and work on building  a life where you don't want to crawl into a hole and hide.  Push through your insecurities and brave new things.  The discomfort will be temporary.