The dark...

[alana18]

Hi, I'm Alana and I never told this to anyone so I really don't know what people would say about it, the fact is: When I was 14(I'm now 18) my grandma died and in the same day at night I started to be afraid of dark, because when I'm in the dark thoughts of that terrible day starts and that's what I can't control, I thought that this feeling would go away but it didn't. What should I do?

[RubyWitch]

I don't know if the loss of your grandama was the first time you'd lost someone you love, but your sudden fear of the dark is quite normal. Especially for someone who was only 14 at the time. I am NOT a psychologist, (and it's undoubtably amazing how far off the mark I may be!) but it's my feeling that possibly being in the dark made you feel afraid that it would forever remain dark, as it had now for your grandma. That not being able to "see" that you were still alive was alleviated by leaving the light on. That you are now unable to sleep without a light I believe has just become ingrained in your thinking, a habit. Perhaps you could try some exposure therapy. I don't know how much light you leave on now, but over the next few months, try dimming the light. If you must sleep with the over-head on, try sleeping with just your bedside light. If that works, buy a bulb with not as much wattage, go from a 60w to a 40w. Live with that for awhile. Try to get down to where you just have a little night light on. I think after awhile, you will find you are strong enough to turn even that off. Don't rush this process, take as much time as you need, but keep pushing yourself as long as you are comfortable.
I had a friend who at the age of 26 could not fall asleep without his TV on......no sound, just the light. I had him go through these steps and it did work. I bought him a huge bag of glow in the dark stars and we spent hours putting them on his ceiling...........they don't really give off any light, they just glow very peacfully...........but he no longer feels he is in total darkness.
I know you are not alone in this fear, it may or may not have anything to do with your grandmas death, you no doubt will simply grow out of it...............but if you need a light on to sleep, leave a light on! There are much bigger fish out there waiting for you to fry! LOL
Sleep tight
Peace
Greenlydia      

[ativan]

hi alana, dont be afraid love its a normal reaction when you loose someone you love, things will get better your only young, my advice to you is to talk about the fear you have your not alone, I lost my mum many many years ago now I was only 3 when she died and I also had the fear of the dark it has got better I am only fearful now if i am on my own then I just leave a light on. speak to someone you trust but please dont be afraid.
janis.