Here I go again, anxiety makes me so mad.

[worried826]

Well once again for the stupidest reason my anxiety is going bad again and I think I am sick. I mean my anxiety is always there anyway but sometimes it gets really bad, plus I have had a lot on my plate lately.On sunday I drank a good amount of beers while out at the pool and monday morning my stomach wasnt very happy so I had some dirrahea early in the morning and that seems to be all it took to get my anxiety going again. What I noticed was the stool looked a little bit light colored, not white or anything like that and it probably isnt even anything to worry about but of course I worried and started searching, you know where this is going. Now my HIV anxiety is back again along with a worry about Hep C. I mean WTF, why I do this really pisses me off, I do it to myself. Even without my usual anxiety I have had a lot going on lately and have been under some stresses and that alone can mess with my body and to add I probably need to stop drinking too.

So last night I had so much trouble sleeping, could not stay asleep very long. I was having strange dreams about my fears and I kept waking up with the thoughts on my mind. God its making me so mad that I am having trouble shaking these thoughts. I just wanted to vent a little bit.

[worried826]

I agree that there is an OCD component. Plus exercising does make me feel better, its just that lately I cant really get myself motivated to exercise.

[worried826]

Yeah, I always can recognize when its the anxiety trying to get the best of me, I know as soon as it comes on but sometimes. The time probably has come to seek treatment, I have done a very good job for years at keeping it at bay but lately it really has been bothering me. When it interferes with my rest coupled with the thoughts though I know its getting worse.

Thanks for the kind words.

[nursegirl6572]

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough go of things.  The best advice I could give you is LOOK at all the wonderful advice you have given on the HIV forum...you KNOW just from reading these posts how anxiety plays tricks on you.  I know you had a real risk....but you can be reassured that that is all behind you.

You also have recognized the increase in anxiety...so if you aren't already...get some help now...nip it in the bud, so to speak.  And, vent all you want!  That's why we're all here right?  You've helped a lot of people...you just got to look at it as it is YOUR turn for a while, and that's okay.

Oh, and the stool color?  Don't give it a second thought...it is TOTALLY normal for the color, consistency, size, shape (grossed out yet?, lol) to vary due to diet, STRESS, an a bazillion other factors.

Hang in there....I hope you get through this quickly.

[hitman60]

Hey guy,

It sounds like these intrusive thoughts have an OCD component.
Have you tried Rational Emotive Therapy, a cognitive therapy approach where you confront unrealistic thoughts through a concrete process. It works for some folks.
It sounds like this HIV worry may be a bit irriational now, and perhaps you could explore some alternatives for dealing with this stuff.

It is so easy to pop a pill, but that is only temporary. I find that if I drink a big glass of chamomile tea, have acupuncture, exercise and do some deep meditation, the anxiety eases.