Health Anxiety, worried about EVERYTHING!!!

[mavis8]

Hello,

A little information about myself. I am a 24 year old healthy white male. Have always struggled with anxiety. Worrying about things too much, over thinking catastrophising, etc. I've seen therapists off and on for probably 7 years, and was on Buspar and Celexa for about a year each. I've been on nothing now for a little over a year.

Back in Nov. 2009 I got a job that I absolutely dreaded. For whatever reason, this job was just terrible and in my mind, i looked at it like a prison sentence. I felt obligated to take the job, because a close friend's father was a high up in the company and stuck his neck out to get me the position. To make a long story short, I quit after 4 days. 4 of the worst days (nights) of my life. As soon as I got the call that I got the job, my life has been different. EVEN THOUGH I QUIT THE JOB!

The week that I was working, I would be up all night, couldn't sleep, would wake up gasping for air, and my throat was doing funky closing up type stuff. Was twitching and jerking. Right as I fell off to sleep I would jolt, and wake up. During that week, I also felt dizzy and would have what I guess were panic attacks. Felt cloudy and out of it... The list goes on and on... In all my anxious days before, I had NEVER experienced such horrendous symptoms. To put it mildly; IT FREAKED ME OUT!!!!!

So after I quit, the symptoms didn't magically go away. Instead, it has parlayed into total health anxiety and hypochondria. I saw a therapist for several months in the months following this initial onset, and he tried to assure me i was just having panic attacks that struck me in my sleep, and that I was healthy. I had a physical, EKG, all sorts of blood work, and other more basic things, and the Dr. said all was well ( I didn't tell him about the anxiety for insurance purposes... long story). But at any rate, I was healthy according to him.

This didn't do much in the way of putting my mind at ease. The symptoms kept on occurring. Sleeping problems, light headedness, and then I'd start getting SEVERE vertigo out of nowhere. THe first time it woke me out of a dead sleep, and I shot out of bed, and couldnt walk .I collapsed on to my brothers bed and woke him up. I got nauseous, and the spinning began to go away after about a minute. This happened a total of 3 times in about a 2 month period for NO REASON. Didn't matter if I stood up too fast, turned my head the wrong way, or whatever. IT happened in a dead sleep for God's sake. No explanation.

So I went and saw an ENT and to this day I still don't know what he did for the $1500 he was paid. Ran a battery of hearing tests, blew air in my ears, recorded my eyes and evaluated me. Said the light headedness was likely inner ear related. There was nystagmus present, but he didn't apprear too alarmed. So I guess I was fine by him.... Well, this still didnt help to put my mind at ease. The light headed feeling still occurs to this second (though it's gotten better) and the vertigo attacks have stopped since then.

Well, my mind has just CLUNG to these symptoms, and the vicious cycle has begun. I fear everything: MS, ALS, blood clots, cancer, tumors, Parkinsons, EVERYTHING.

I look up my symptoms and of course every terminal condition comes up. ( I know im not supposed to do that, but I cant help it). My newest symptom is that my muscles will quiver or tremor (rhythmically) when they are exerted. My face muscles do it ( I make faces all the time for my nephews, and now notice the muscles feel like theyre giving out) and my fingers and toes do it. Not when resting, but while exerted. If i bend over, and then bring my torso back up, its jerky. and  lot of the time, when i take a deep breath, its ragged, not smooth. Also, I notice my head shakes slightly when i lay down at night.

Bed time is the worst for me. Since this has all happened, i fear going to bed. I wake up usually right as i fall asleep with my throat physically moving. The muscles in my throat are oscillating, and i have to catch my breath, After a few rounds of this and an hour or so later, i eventually fall asleep and sleep thru the night. Is this normal? I have post nasal drip problems. Maybe its my throat being clogged. Kinda feels that way. Is this anxiety? I don;t even feel stressed!

All of these things, keep messing with my head, and scaring the crap out of me. Im young, and have a lot of life ahead of me. I don't want to die. I hate this feeling. Everybody keeps telling me it's all in my head. Or that its anxiety. Ok, maybe so, but until these PHYSICAL symptoms go away, I can't stop worrying. I've never had a problem with anything like this before (Sleeping, muscle movement, dizzy/ light headed). Is this something I should worry about? Could it really be anxiety or stress related? It just doesnt add up to me. I' ve never had anxiety take this toll... This has been happening for a year now. And the stressors or "trigger" has been removed. I can't tell if my anxiety is causing the symptoms, or if the symptoms are causing the anxiety. I HATE IT!

Sorry for the long post, but it's a year in the making. I know you aren't doctors, but im looking for a little feedback from people who've had this happen. Maybe people have seen Dr's themselves, and can shed some light. Anything would help.

Thanks!

[29sillygirl]

See we are still talking about the shaking/sporadic weakness symptoms.

In my opinion, anxiety could most certainly be the culprit.  As I scanned your posts, it seems you have done a good job of exploring possible diseases.

Here is what I think.    When your mind is overwhelmed with anxiety, you must distract it.  For me , it might be meditating, or even better, stepping outside and taking a walk.  It is quite amazing to me how a simple walk around my apt. complex changes my entire outlook.  

Remember the Jane Austen books, when a heroine would be told to 'take a walk in the shrubbery'??    Both my GP and psychiatrist strongly endorse this therapy today:).

Take it easy.  Keep posting.   Carefree days ahead.

[mavis8]

Yes, I sometimes dont know if it's actually shaking or if I just think it is. Terrible. Sounds to me like this all could be anxiety....

[WendyLady03]

I also have the muscle twitching/shaking/tremor thing. I mostly get it in my stomach and legs, but every once in a while for no reason whatsoever different body parts will jerk. Sometimes my arm, sometimes my leg, sometimes my whole body. It mostly happens when I'm lying down or drifting off to sleep.....I can't count how many times I've been jerked awake by my own body. I also sometimes feel like my head is shaking, though I don't really know if it is or if it's just feeling that way because I've also felt like my hands shake, but when I look at them they're perfectly still.

I'm sorry you're going through this, anxiety is so horrible!

[mavis8]

I don't really feel "weak". My muscles feel
Strong, they just sort of give out and quiver or tremor when exerted in certain ways. I hope it's all in my head! (anxiety)

[Rebelwoman87]

Well have you ever been so weak then so strong after?
I knwo the feeling.
I personally think it has to do with the oxygin I think it has to do with anxiety

[mavis8]

Thanks for the support thus far.... I am REALLY hoping this is all anxiety based, or something minor. I have'nt seen a psychiatrist, but ive seen 2 psychologists, and my MD worked in tandem with the first, and prescribed the meds. I am off of them now.

Has anyone experienced this muscles twitching/tremor/shake sensation? I notice that my muscles quiver (like Ive been working out REALLY card) if i do simple tasks. For example, tonight at dinner, there was a teapot on the table, and i reached my arm out to lift the pot and pour the tea into my cup. The thing weighed maybe a pound and i was shaking like an old man. Not terribly, but I DEFINITELY have never done that. It only happens if i do things  a certain way. There are ways I can do these same things, and the shaking is eliminated. It is just scary.I notice this shake during may other normal activities that didnt used to be that way as well. I catastrophise and fear ALS, MS, Parkinsons, etc etc. Im only 24, this shouldnt be happening. Is this something that anxiety typically causes? Should i worry? Is it possible for it to just be benign, or a normal tremor, that just coincidentally set in around this time? I plan to see a doctor in the next couple months after I finish switching my insurance around. IS there a cause for concern here, or does this sound like it COULD be anxiety? Any thoughts, input, advice? I know you're not Doctors, and im not looking for diagnosis. Just throwing some ideas around with like-minded people who have been thru this. Thanks a lot!!

[Rebelwoman87]

I have to say, I know the feeling....

Last six months has been hard, and last month or this last month has been the hardest, I have been on Imodium because I can't eat and I get runs from issues of anxiety... My hypricondria of course picks up saying the imodium is destroying my body and I'm becomeing dependent.
My anxiety would hit me at night too... Especially after forceing myself to eat...
I would start out with sweaty palms I didn't notice much, then I'd twictch and every muscle would ache, I'd shake, and couldn't breath. I'd get up only to almost run into stuff from just the hyperventalating and then I'd be in the bathroom trying to breath deep but only getting close to passing out. It sucked... It's so much stress, it hasn't gotten much better, but at least I can sleep a bit more (off and on at night) and I sleep wtih my kitty and she helps me out.
I hate feeling like my heart is ready to pop out.
I probably should go to the doctor for some of these symptoms but It lasts an hour or so and then goes away for a little bit.

[poppiedo]

i read your post with interest as i too have experienced the horrible vertigo type thing i too have an anxiety disorder treated by celexa i know its awful but its horrendous what the mental part of us can do to the physical i got where i was scared to go to work as i darent have a panic and vertigo attck in front of other people i also had stomach things and also convinced myself i had constant nausea which must be cancer i had tests and it wasnt and also the vertigo thing was to do with little floaters in your ear canal which can be settled by a manoevere called the epley but before that i had both stomach cancer and brain tumour all in my mind of course but the suffering i put myself through was so unessesary so please dont think you are alone in this take care good luck and God bless

[29sillygirl]

Sorry you are having such a time of it.  As you will discover, anxiety can cause a wide variety of symptoms.  Hope a few other old-timers will toss their opinions into the ring.

We always recommend physical symptoms be checked by MD before leaping to anxiety as core problem, but, if you check our archives, you'll find threads dealing with the many faces of anxiety.

Have you seen a psychiatrist?  You mention the ENT and cost, so not sure if you have insurance limitations.  

You took a good first step by posting here.  Know you are not alone.  As to the job as trigger.......it could have been the experience that kicked off you symptoms.  Only a professional could evaluate all that.

Anxiety disorder/agoraphobia...doesn't matter what the label, anxiety is anxiety.....left untended .....leads to depression and isolation.  I take clonazapam after years of trying one or another antidepressant.  I can tell you this.  Medication is usually the base we require after symptoms become severe.  Therapy is next, and support for getting back into life.

  In my case no genesis  was ever found, nor did I care to spend $ and time on that.   All the therapists I've had used behavioral therapy to help me and it is what works.  I am speaking from 30+ years of dealing with anxiety.

Best to you.  Continue posting.  Just getting it out is a great first step.

[CassCore]

Mavis-

I am so sorry you are dealing with this situation. I can personally tell you that I deal with hypochonriac-like symptoms. I took an abnormal psych class in college and the actual word for what I have is a "somatization disorder" as well as panic disorder and anxiety (this diagnosis was confirmed by an MD as well). ANYWAY I can tell you that I used to wake up with anxiety attacks at night all the time....and still do on occasion. I too felt super dizzy, nauseousness, light headed, cold sweats, and almost like I was going to black out. My problem deals with my digestive system mainly, but I over analyze what my body is doing. So a normal train of thought for me might look like this..."My stomach feels kinda funny and it just made a weird noise. Well, I did have chicken today what if I got salmanella or some other kind of food poisoning? What if I get really sick later and throw up all night? I should probably go home because now I'm feeling worse and my stomach is making more noises. I will probably not get any sleep tonight because I'll be up all night sick, what will I do tomorrow? I'll be so tired at work...." etc etc etc it goes on and on...ANYWAY I'm telling you all of this because I went to a gasterointerologist and they of course found that everything was fine and I just had to learn that I wasn't going to pick up the stomach flu every day. Sometimes convincing your mind you are okay is all that it takes, but it can be so hard. That's why I take medication and why so many others do as well. I do not know what to tell you about the muscle tremors except I know stress can cause them. Anxiety can cause your muscles to be very tense. And depending on the person different certian symptoms are more severe for different people. My anxiety started around my senior year of high school when I was choosing a college and all that good stuff. SO the job thing may have triggered something, even though you may not feel stressed now you may have lingering or underlying stress caused by thinking about that job and some guilt about hating it so much when a family friend tried hard to get the job for you. BUT you shouldn't feel bad because you have to take care of yourself and if you were unhappy, quitting was the right thing to do. Anyway I hope some of this helped...please feel free to ask me any more questions.