Aa
anxiety & pregnant
Alright so I'm pregnant & suffer from severe anxiety & panic attacks. I just found out today I lost my job because I've been waiting on the doctors to get back to me because I'm literally scared to go to work. Every time I get ready for work, I have a massive panic attack & have to be taken to the hospital. I can't take any meds while I'm pregnant, so that doesn't help at all. What should I do now? I'm lost, scared, angry, & hurt that they can live with themselves by firing a single pregnant lady whos had so many medical issues.
You've called who? Work? Your boss I'm assuming?
You're incorrect about the FMLA. Anyone can get an FMLA for medical conditions (acute or chronic), as long as you've been employed for at least a year and if your doctor is willing to fill out the forms stating you have some sort of limitation that will cause more than normal absences. It's a shame you didn't know that, you could have sought that out and tried to get one to retain your job.
Unfortunately, most places really don't accept doctor's notes for absences, unless it is to cover a set of absences over three days.
You may just have to accept that this job is a goner and seek out a new one, preferrably when you get the anxiety to a better place. As a last ditch effort, you could try a written letter to your boss (and cc your HR manager on the letter as well).
Just be very brief, apologize for your absences, and explain your issues in very simple terms, and that you could provide documentation from your doctor to substantiate your claims. You could then express that you really value your job and would like the opportunity to be given one more chance, be sure to point out any positive evaluations you've had, and things you have done at work that you have been recognized for, to stress that you are a valuable employee. It's certainly worth a try! It depends on how well you were communicating with your boss during your absences. If you were pretty open and honest with him, he could have offered some suggestions (including the FMLA or a LOA). If that is the case, you could gently express that you wish you would have been offered some options on how to handle this. Just be careful not be accusatory, as if it was your boss's fault. It's hard to word something like that correctly. If you failed to properly communicate what all was going on with you, then your boss really had no way of trying to help you, so consider how everything happened before you decide exactly what to put in the letter.
Most importantly, start working with your doctor to see what options you have, which therapy would definitely be one of them...and start addressing the panic, therefore you can be in a better place to return to work (if that becomes an option), or to seek out a new job.
Very best to you!! Let us know how you're doing!
You're incorrect about the FMLA. Anyone can get an FMLA for medical conditions (acute or chronic), as long as you've been employed for at least a year and if your doctor is willing to fill out the forms stating you have some sort of limitation that will cause more than normal absences. It's a shame you didn't know that, you could have sought that out and tried to get one to retain your job.
Unfortunately, most places really don't accept doctor's notes for absences, unless it is to cover a set of absences over three days.
You may just have to accept that this job is a goner and seek out a new one, preferrably when you get the anxiety to a better place. As a last ditch effort, you could try a written letter to your boss (and cc your HR manager on the letter as well).
Just be very brief, apologize for your absences, and explain your issues in very simple terms, and that you could provide documentation from your doctor to substantiate your claims. You could then express that you really value your job and would like the opportunity to be given one more chance, be sure to point out any positive evaluations you've had, and things you have done at work that you have been recognized for, to stress that you are a valuable employee. It's certainly worth a try! It depends on how well you were communicating with your boss during your absences. If you were pretty open and honest with him, he could have offered some suggestions (including the FMLA or a LOA). If that is the case, you could gently express that you wish you would have been offered some options on how to handle this. Just be careful not be accusatory, as if it was your boss's fault. It's hard to word something like that correctly. If you failed to properly communicate what all was going on with you, then your boss really had no way of trying to help you, so consider how everything happened before you decide exactly what to put in the letter.
Most importantly, start working with your doctor to see what options you have, which therapy would definitely be one of them...and start addressing the panic, therefore you can be in a better place to return to work (if that becomes an option), or to seek out a new job.
Very best to you!! Let us know how you're doing!
I've called & nobody will talk to me. I have some doctor's notes & tried talking to my boss but he never called me back. In the policies I can't take FMLA until I have the baby.
Unfortunately, if you violated your work's attendance policy, then they had the right to fire you. I know it seems heartless, but if you were missing a lot of work (especially with little notice), they have to make decisions based on what is best for their company, it really isn't personal, even if it feels that way. They need employees who they know will show up to work to a majority of their scheduled days. Have you talked to them about what was going on? Did you try to take a leave of absence or anything? What you should have done, if you had been at your job for at least 12 months, was to get an FMLA. That would have protected you from termination while you sorted out the anxiety/panic issues. It's a fairly simple process that requires your doctor to validate the fact that you may need to miss more work than usual.
It is a common misconception that people cannot take meds while pregnant. Actually, MANY people take meds for their anxiety disorders while pregnant. Usually an SSRI antidepressant will be prescribed, and some are considered safer than others. I took meds during both of my pregnancies, with no problems. Of course, there are NO guarantees, so it is a decision each woman has to make for herself, with the help and guidance of her OB.
I think it is something you should talk to your OB about. For me, the benefits outweighed the risks. Without the meds, I was not functional at all, and basically housebound at that point in my life. I started missing prenatal appts due to panic, and that just wasn't acceptable to me.
I'm glad I made the decision I did. I was able to get my panic under control (for the most part) and actually enjoyed my pregnancy. Stress itself is not good during pregnancy either, which is another factor that was important to me in deciding to take medication while pregnant.
Were you on any meds prior to getting pregnant? If so, were you gradually tapered off those meds after you found out? If not, that may be a big reason as to why you are having such severe symptoms.
As for your job, maybe call your boss and honestly explain the situation. Tell him/her that after you get your symptoms under control, you would appreciate a second chance. If you have been a good employee, with a good track record at work, they may consider it. But, you'll really have to try to get the anxiety to a manageable level and push yourself to get to work (as hard as it may be)...because obviously, if they give you a second chance, they will expect you to get to work with little tolerance for any absences. It's certainly something to think about.
Very best of luck to you hon...definitely talk to your OB about your options. Update us when you can.
It is a common misconception that people cannot take meds while pregnant. Actually, MANY people take meds for their anxiety disorders while pregnant. Usually an SSRI antidepressant will be prescribed, and some are considered safer than others. I took meds during both of my pregnancies, with no problems. Of course, there are NO guarantees, so it is a decision each woman has to make for herself, with the help and guidance of her OB.
I think it is something you should talk to your OB about. For me, the benefits outweighed the risks. Without the meds, I was not functional at all, and basically housebound at that point in my life. I started missing prenatal appts due to panic, and that just wasn't acceptable to me.
I'm glad I made the decision I did. I was able to get my panic under control (for the most part) and actually enjoyed my pregnancy. Stress itself is not good during pregnancy either, which is another factor that was important to me in deciding to take medication while pregnant.
Were you on any meds prior to getting pregnant? If so, were you gradually tapered off those meds after you found out? If not, that may be a big reason as to why you are having such severe symptoms.
As for your job, maybe call your boss and honestly explain the situation. Tell him/her that after you get your symptoms under control, you would appreciate a second chance. If you have been a good employee, with a good track record at work, they may consider it. But, you'll really have to try to get the anxiety to a manageable level and push yourself to get to work (as hard as it may be)...because obviously, if they give you a second chance, they will expect you to get to work with little tolerance for any absences. It's certainly something to think about.
Very best of luck to you hon...definitely talk to your OB about your options. Update us when you can.
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