Friends issues causing me anxiety

[Alisonj29]

I have a friend who is a single mom of two boys. She is struggling really bad right now and is talking that she wants to die and let her kids have a good life without her. She is about an hour away from me and has no one else that will help. I offer and she is very hard to talk to about everything. I was awake almost all night last night because the last thing she said was that things were very bad and then wouldnt answer her phone or messages at all. I started panicking and freaking that I should get up there but at the same time I had an intense fear about it. I spent almost all day trying to talk to her and got her to atleast make a doctors appt for tomorrow. I cant fail here as she wont open up to anyone else but at the same time for some reason I am finding this extremely draining and its causing me to be extremely anxious and a mess. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. If she lived closer I could go and check on her etc but with her being an hour or more north, between having to leave the kids here and driving in crappy weather when I am very anxious I just cant. Any ideas? I feel like such a selfish person even making this about me but at the same time I have to think about my family as well who need their mom well.

[DJ873]

#1 take care of you and yours. Even if you run there today, when you leave she will probably end up in the same boat as she is not well. Would she come be near you? Then you could help out with kids etc but I am assuming you are not trained in counseling her. I am so glad she has you as a friend, you are very good support, Don't make this about you and create a new issue for you. Its only human to worry and feel bad for her. Many of us anxiety sufferers have also dealt with depression and know it takes huge effort to get on the path to wellness. Where is their father?

I get the worry and the feeling of responsibility its all about balance. Sorry you are having to deal with this sister, it isn't easy.

[AnnieBrooke]

Social Services?  I don't know how good they are (around here they are terribly overworked), but your friend's comments sound like she is considering harming herself.  It is not your fault and should not be your sole burden, but you should contact someone in an official capacity in the place where she lives, and tell them what is going on.  

[CassCore]

You are absolutly right, you have to consider that you are a mother and you need to put your childrens' needs first. If you are concerned your friend is suicidel you need to call a family member of hers that lives close to go check on her, or call the police. She may be upset with you for talking to her family about her issues, but you have to think about what's best for her and her kids. She needs help and you are being the best friend you can be by giving it to her by contacting a family member, or law enforcement. You cannot feel like she is your responsibility entirely. You are not qualified to care for someone who is depressed and she needs help! Especially if she has kids. Do her the best favor you can and contact help. She will thank you later!