help?

[lily12419]

im 18 and these weird insane spells have been happening to me for around half a year now.
i went to leeds festival last year, one of the best weeks of my life and i did experiment with all sorts of ways to intoxicate myself but when i came home i felt very emotional, like i was watching my self move and talk, i couldnt concentrate on normal thoughts and i was scared i was going to do anything stupid like hurt myself and i was constantly wide awake. had horrible sleep for the 6 days of this torture. genuinally thought i had lost my self, as i was coming back to reality i wasnt sure if it was real or not, but then one day i woke up and i felt like a human again.

the next time this happened to me was a week before christmas, i went out and drank and it caught up on me on the tuesday before christmas after drinking, and the insanity spell didnt dissapear fully until two days before new years eve. this sounds strange but i had a constant song stuck in my head, and when i became normal again i thought back and was like 'did that even happen, was i dreaming, im actually normal' then when i have this weird hangover comedown again i feel like ive always been insane and i dont know what normal is.

this is happening more and more frequent, but sometimes it doesnt happen and i wake up with a straight head, just feel a little bit weird. its so hard to explain. i feel like im in reality but im not in reality at the same time, that im aware of whats going on then im totally not aware.

i went out on friday and im still not right now (monday) on the saturday on my way home from my friends i still felt drunk and ttoally not on this planet. then i have the worst sleeps while having these spells; scary dreams, you feel like your waking up and falling back to sleep constantly through the night, you have uncontrollable twitches and you then wake up wide awake and confused to whats going on.

this is so hard for me because drinking is a HUGE part of my friends lives, its so hard to avoid it. its an awful trap to be in, the scary hangover part when you feel like you will be forever trapped and you genuinally think your mental. but then after a week or so i have bounced back, and i dont know what the fuss is.
i thought it was drugs that had done this at first, as ive dabbled with them in the past and was fine the day after.
but maybe they triggered this and now any type of intoxication will leave me temperarily boggled for a few days.

does anyone out there get this? i have no idea how else to explain it.

[lily12419]

your right, i dont have time in my life to be thinking im going mental for a few days.. once im fine i feel like there was nothing wrong with me and i could do it again - vicious circle.
so if i do quit everything, i was never a heavy drinker or drug taker but i guess im just unfortunate, il probably become a lot healthier.
thanks for the advise :)

[remar]

You may have nailed it on the head by saying "hangover come down". Alcohol and drugs can really mess with your body and feelings. You also say it's a huge part of your friends lives. What about your life? It might be time to either find new friends or do activities with the same friends that does not involve drugs or alcohol. I really recommend you giving up the alcohol and drugs. Is it worth it to be feeling this way?