What is this???

[Jennifer1987]

Last september I was diagnose with hypothyroidism, and around this time I started have bad anxiety! the thing is the anxiety comes with intrusive thoughts! I was panicing that i was getting OCD!

So I went for counselling and thol her everything..its a reallt long story, I hope ye dont mind!

I was with this fella for 2 and a half years and he ended up cheating on me with his ex, this hurt so much but I forgave him and took him back... that was over a year ago, I thought I had gotten over it but obviously not. He decided to have a lads weekend away and this is when the anxiety hit, and the intrusive thoughts. I thought I trusted him but I didn't and the weekend away was playing on my mind all the time, I didn't want him to go but he decided to go anyway! I was worring all the time if he would cheat on me, when would he end it again (which happened a lot)... I was so insecure in the relationship.. My confidence is gone, no self-esteem anymore, my life is a wreck! Still I tried to make things work and continued to be there everytime he needed... I didn't feel loved though! So I ended it 3 weeks ago and have been trying to move on! I thought my anxiety would have got better by now.... He treated me badly, and i took it... I could write a book about it all!

So my questions:

Is this OCD????

My therapist says its anxiety caused by different things in my life, and the thoughts are just a symptom... I just worry Im getting OCD.. Is she right???

Can a relationship cause this much anxiety?


Are intrusive thoughts caused by OCD only or can they be caused by general anxiety?

Could hypothyroidism/hashimotos cause this??

Im sorry for the long post but Im at my widts end here... I really feel like dying.....

Please please help!  

Thanks

Jen

xx

[Jennifer1987]

Yes it has been a big help. I know I have no confidnece, no self esteem and really feel like I hate myself! Mainly cos I left it get this far! Iv been in this state of anxiety since last september and knew my relationship wasn't good but I kept on trying!

I feel a lot happier since we split, mainly as I don contact him and dont know what he is up too! but lately Iv been thinking about him a lot and have resisted contacting him, And I know I wont cause I know im better off with out him, thing is I cant fully shake this anxiety! I wanted it to happen over night! Iv suffered long enough I just want it gone! I feel like its with me for ever!

[Julie359]

I'm glad that you eneded it, to be honest proberly the reason you are still feeling anxious is because like a friend explained to me is that your self esteem, confidence and self worth has taken a battering.... you don't trust your judgement at the moment, making you doubt everything you do and how you feel....

You need to give yourself time to heal these wounds that have been opened...trust me i am going through exactly the same right now.... this is exactly how i am.  Trust me you are not going insane, you just need time and the fact your in therapy is excellent...the ball is already rolling.  

My friend also said that in my heart i need to fforgive not only him but myself.... look deep in your heart and see that you were far too good for him and that loosing you is HIS loss not yours.  

There is a guy out there who will treat you like a princess and give you the life you deserve.... just hold out for him... don't give in to the temptation of the losers...when he comes along you will know....

In the meantime give yourself some much needed pampering and look after yourself.  Hope this has been of some help...take care xxx

[Jennifer1987]

So the past week has been good, no thoughts or anything like that... but today Il fel up tight and anxious! Iv a bad headache since yesteerday and jus feel horrible.

But over all Iv been good. Im jus wondering is this how it goes... like do the thoughts come and go when things are getting better??? They are kinda back today but Im jus thinking maybe this is how I get better..That they just slowely go away???

Any one with any opinion??? Im finished with my ex 5 weeks now, but still miss him like crazy! When is all this going to stop??

:(

jen

xx

[Jennifer1987]

Ya, I have hypoT with hashimotos, :(! Such a pain in the butt! Just want my old life back, when I was happy and sane!

[somemonkey]

My illness isn't hypothyroid. I have autonomic dysfunction. It causes anxiety too. You aren't going insane.

[Jennifer1987]

Anyone else have any input?? Any stories like mine that will convince me Im not going insane!

Please???

[Jennifer1987]

I have ended it with him about a montha ago now, and i know it will take time to get over but I hope Im making the right steps! I feel better in myself for doing it but not witht the anxiety yet! Still going for therapy and will continue untill needs be! Eventually Il find my way in life, I hope!

[Julie359]

You know i have to say that Paxiled is a very wise person!!! I enjoy reading his/her comments as they are so informative and really make sense.... who are you Paxiled.... i want to pick your brain!!!

Ohh and Jennfier you don't have OCD, you just seem to have a untrustworthy bloke, who yes you gave a second chance but once that trust is broken it's the hardest thing to build again.  For your own sanity maybe you should consider looking for a new one or taking a break to discover yourself.  Trust your womanly instincts...trust me if you FEEL there is a problem with your boyfriend and he can't be trusted then you are proberly, 99% right.  You only look young, you will soon learn to listen to your instincts.  Mine have never let me down yet!!

[Jennifer1987]

No, was supposed to be getting an appointment but haven't got one yet! I go to my GP and will be going back shortly! Im so just down the past 10 months thats I really cant stand it! Anxiety is killing me...Just wnt it to go away!

[Ariom63]

You can stop worrying..it is not OCD.  Not a doctor..but it is prefectly normal when someone you love or care about cheats on you that you are feeling the way you do.  You are only human!!!  Also adding to your situation is the thyroid issue. I started having massive everyday anxiety/panic attacks and that is when my doctor found out it was because of Hyperthyroidism.  You are not going insane..and you will find light at the end of the tunnel. I am going to be honest...tomorrow I go in and find out my results...blood tests results for my thyroid. I am missing one of them, I had it removed surgically back in April 2002...and since then have been on medications for it.  I take Synthroid.  I thought I would feel 110% better...but I have my days!!!!  It *****..but it can be controlled by medication.  You just need to stay on top of it and see your doctor reguarly. Have you seen a doctor since..not a therapist..but an endo???

Hugs

[Jennifer1987]

You have a thyroid problem too?? Mine in underactive and have hashimotos! but my anxiety comes in the form of intrusive thoughts, like an obsession??

My whole life Iv been a worrier, mainly down to things that I went through as a child. In brief, my lil brother was born with Down Syndrome and was a very sick baby! He had open heart surgery when he was 8 months old and ever since he was born Iv always worried about my family and stuff! Went to bed worried that they wouldn't wake or something like that! But Iv got control of that now and know that it was all a bit rediculous!

Im just so afraid Iv developed OCD! Like scared out of my mind worried! thinking what if I develop other thouughts too obsess about!

Is this normal of anxiety???

[somemonkey]

My illness causes anxiety too. It can be very confusing. When its a normal time, then your body feels something wrong. Then a few minutes later there is anxiety. No reason at all.

[Jennifer1987]

Jasmine1006:

Thanks for the kind words, I dont know what to think anymore. I know when I was in the relationship I was under a lot of stress and anxiety over it. CONSTANTLY! We would be fine for few months and then after 3-4 months he would end it or something would go wrong! So that led me to constantly worry about when he was going to do it again and it just became automatic to worry and think all the time! When he cheated all that was on my mind was that image, it made me feel sick and depressed! Im going for counselling, and she said I have no confidence, no self-esteem and really think negative about myself! Which is all true! I trusted him so much and he abused it in everyway! I was a door mat for him! But at least I see that now, maybe a step in the right direction!

Paxiled:

Thank you too, Iv done so much research on the subject! And I just think im going insane! The thoughts are constant since last september. they started the week before my B/F at the time was going away on a lads weekend! I didn't trust him and drove myself insane with worry! Thinking would he cheat, bla bla bla...Kept thinking about it... Had a fight the night before he went, he just didn't care! I feel like a pure ape, for putting up with it.. Never put me fist! So now I think Iv OCD, still after being told by my therapist I dont like.. that its anxiety and the thoughts are a symptom! I don't know. Im rambling like a fool here! SORRY guys!

Life throws some bad stuff at us, and I hate it!

[Paxiled]

OCD is commonly misdiagnosed and not well understood.  To be OCD, you not only have to have the O (obsessive thoughts, which all of us with anxiety and depression have or we wouldn't have the disorder), but the C.  You have to commit compulsive actions, such as the cliche example of repeatedly washing hands.  Don't worry as much about these diagnoses, which are really there so medical professionals can get paid by insurance companies, and work on what ails you, not the name of what ails you.  And work on not living through the way somebody else sees you.  This has been a repeated problem of mine, and I don't recommend it.  Breakups happen to everyone, but only the depressed and anxious hang on to them forever.  And things don't cause anxiety, we cause anxiety in how we approach these things.  Peace.

[Jasmine1006]

hey Jennifer, sorry you're going through a sucky time...I know some people feel worse when their thyroid is off. so if you haven't checked your levels lately, you should. also, visit a hypothyroid forum, i'm sure a lot of people can relate to you there.

and OCD *can* cause intrusive thoughts. trust me, i know because i've experienced it. but yours sound more like anxiety to me than of the OCD variety.

i hope you feel better soon.

[Jennifer1987]

Today I just feel hopeless... I can honestly say its not worth it any more! A life like this isn't worht keeping! I just want to see an improvement! I cant do this anxiety thing anymore!

[Jennifer1987]

Thanks ye all so much! I am just so tired of all of this that I need to see the light at the end of the famous tunnel!

I was always a happy person but I dont take things as well as I should do... I let things get me down to easily! And I dwell on them too...

I have been going to therapy and I asked her so many times if I was getting OCD and she said no every time, that she thinks the situations Iv been in caused me anxiety... Iv been as honest as I can be with her and she recgons that I should get over this in time! I have kinda been a worrier since I was young cause a lot happened that change me..

I am on medication for my stupid thyroid, which I call the "devil" now, lol....

I just thought that this would go away by now and let me live my life! My problem was I didn't know if intrusive thoughts could be cause by anxiety or if it was just with OCD!

[amish1979]

"Can a relationship cause this much anxiety?"

I wouldn't say that a relationship can cause ALL of that anxiety, but it can definitely be the tipping point.  I never had true anxiety/panic until my relationship went to ****, but looking back further I realized that I did have some symtoms prior to that.  I think the relationship garbage just kicked it into high gear.

[hesson81]

well congradulations..... Your living life. I don't know about the medical portion of your question, but in terms of anxiety being effected by the past relation ship...... yes. I'm not a doctor, but in going through my issues, you realize that things that effect you in certain ways might not effect other people the same way it effects you. Your probably an A personality, and probably don't want to live life without regret.  So your taking your past experience harshly. Which is okay, because you'll probably learn more from it. Being an A personality has pros and cons as does being a B personality.

I think you have probably made some good decisions in moving on from a bad relationship, but there are brighter days ahead.

The thing I think you need to remember is that, wisdom is not genetic nor are you born with it, you attain it through life experiences that you have gone through. So are you hurt...yes.. is effecting you physically.....yes (anxiety)..Will you get over it..... Yes over time. You'll even be a much better because of it.

I'm sure you'll improve.... And no... I don't think you Have OCD.

[amish1979]

It looks as though depression/anxiety can be symptoms of Hashimoto's so it very well could be contributing to your anxiety, but getting dumped on repeatedly by your guy absolutely is contributing to it as well.

You need to address both of these.  Continue to see your therapist and address why you allowed your guy to treat you that way for so long and try to get to the bottom of this anxiety.  I assume you are getting treated for Hashimoto's (medication?) so continue with that as well.

Intrusive thoughts are a part of anxiety, no OCD here.  Until a PROFESSIONAL diagnoses you as having OCD I would try my hardest to keep it out of my head (impossible, I know).

Welcome to the next chapter of your life.  One where YOU decide how to feel about yourself, not some jerk.

[Dalubaba]

Hypothyrodism can cause many unrelated problems.taking care of proper dsage and regular tests will be enough to cntain hypothyrodism.you become almost normal.Of course you problem is genuine and the worry and tensinon will be there. you have to adjust in any way you can.

[amish1979]

For starters, It's not OCD.